Magic « These Little Moments

Whenever my coworker is out of the office she leaves me in possession of her Magic Eight Ball. Last time I had it was February. I shook it as hard as I could and asked the same question I always ask it, “Will Michael propose soon?”

My sources say yes.

I really wanted to believe it so I wrote down the date on a Post-It and stuck in my desk drawer.

The Eight Ball? Was wrong. I’m not sure what the Eight Ball considers to be soon, but it’s been five months since I asked it. Not quite my idea of soon.

Since aquiring it on Friday, I’ve asked the same question once every day. Each day has been a different answer.

-Yes.

- It is decidedly so.

- Outlook not so good.

This is usually the time I shake it again, because obviously the Magic Eight Ball is just tired and is therefore giving me the ~~answer I do not want to hear~~ wrong answer.

Since the Eight Ball is being stubborn, I decided to ask it some questions about my weekend instead.

Is it going to rain for the Blessing of the Fleet? It is decidedly so.

Will that stop us from going to the beer tent? Concentrate and ask again.

Will that stop us from going to the beer tent? Very doubtful.

Will I have fun at the party on Saturday? Yes.

Will I end up drinking one too many? You may rely on it.

But it will be worth it, right? Better not tell you now.

Ooooh, that tricky Eight Ball.

14 comments

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July 26, 2007 at 2:24 pm

Anna

I need to come next door and try that!

Will my power be restored when I get home?

Will Henry ever stop waking up at 5:30 a.m.?

July 26, 2007 at 2:33 pm

clinkny

You crack me up.

And also - isn’t there a theory that God’s “7 days” = billions of billions of years? In terms of creating the world?

Perhaps the magic eight ball is similar. Not that you’ll have to wait a billion years but just that “soon” is all relative. Especially when it comes to the ever-elusive magic eight ball.

July 26, 2007 at 2:35 pm

sasharay

haha. Ask the magic eight ball if I will get a job I like? hehe

July 26, 2007 at 2:57 pm

kwarterlifecrisis

Damn that magic eight ball. When I get home tonight, I will ask mine your question. Maybe it will have a better, more favorable answer for you. In the meantime, maybe start quantitfying the time frame for the eight ball. Like ‘will Michael propose by September’ or ‘in the next three months.’ You know, just so that there is no discrepancy between YOUR ’soon’ and the MAGIC EIGHT BALL’S ’soon.’

July 26, 2007 at 3:13 pm

caitlynintherye

I’m with KLC on this- I think you need to give the 8 Ball a definable date. And doesn’t Michael read this blog too?
Also I propose that all major decisions from here on out be made solely based on the readings from an 8 Ball.

July 26, 2007 at 3:16 pm

Sass

The eight ball said annoying coworker would be gone in a month and it took 2 months.

So, it may not know WHEN, but it knows that it WILL happen.

Just to be sure kwarterlifecrisis should proabably ask her eight ball since it’s somewhat reliable.

July 26, 2007 at 3:35 pm

Valerie

I find Magic 8 balls are never reliable, you should take out a Quija board next time. I’m sure my great-aunt twice removed who died from boredom will have the answer you desire
I kid, but it will happen soon and it better because I’m getting antsy living vicariously through you! I also can’t wait to be happy with you!

July 26, 2007 at 5:46 pm

your mom

the 8 ball has been around a long, long time. it is mysterious with it’s interior of blue water and eerie, bobbing answers, and it creeps me out a little. half the time it is lying.

i had one when i was a kid (that’s how old they are). sometimes you have to shake it again to get the “right” answer. and sometimes you know it is confused because it gets stuck with that little angle-shaped wedge thingy in between two answers.

come home and try “The Magic Gypsy Fan Fortune Teller” with the little tiny dice that you shake into the spaces…… now THAT will give you some accurate outlooks.

or…you can have your intuitive aunt read the ancient family fortune cards to get down to the real dirt…

but actually, here is a secret, molly. i find wishing on stars to be a lot more reliable and satisfying. how do you think this all came to be?

July 26, 2007 at 5:59 pm

I wish my mom knew about my blog so she could leave cute little comments like the one above. Ok, not really because I clearly write about non-mom-appropriate things, but you get the point.

Ok, here goes:

“Will Michael propose to Molly soon?” - Without a doubt (!)
“Does soon mean in the next month?” - Better not tell you now (…
“Does soon mean in the next month?” - Concentrate and ask again (COME ON!)
“Does soon mean in the next month?” - As I see it yes

There you have it! (I swear those are all the original answers.) I predict you will have a ring by Labor Day, Molly! SO SAYETH THE MAGIC EIGHT BALL.

July 26, 2007 at 6:36 pm

That’s hilarious. I LOVE using the magic eight ball but ONLY when it gives me the answers I want to hear. If it doesn’t I just keep shaking it and say, “Oh STUPID magic eight ball!”

July 26, 2007 at 8:52 pm

katie