I’ve been wanting to give you Version 4 for awhile now, but I just wasn’t coming across shoes awful enough to warrant a place in the bad shoe hall of fame.
Until today.
This is the perfect disguise for puffy pregnancy ankles. Because it’s much better to look like a python is swallowing you whole.
Apparently this shoe has a tooth ache. Why else would it wrap that thing around itself?
Now these…these I had to make extra large for you. Because you’re not getting the true feeling of the shoe unless you can see they’re see-through. Oh yes. I mean, I totally get it. My legs get hot when I wear boots too. This completely eliminates the problem.
Pom-pom or completely disgusting toe fungus growing out of your foot? You decide. Also, sort of looks like the cat coughed up the remains of a rodent. Just saying.
“But Grandma, what big eyes you have!” “The better to see…damn, Red. What the hell is on your feet?”
It took me a minute to figure out where I had seen this before. Then I remembered. In the event of an emergency, your seat can be used as a flotation device. Thanks, Southwest!
This gives entirely new meaning to the phrase “Stinky cheese feet”.
9 comments
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August 2, 2007 at 12:38 pm
sasharay
Those boots!! What were they thinkings? And the cheese shoes… gross.
Thanks for an amusing Version 4.
August 2, 2007 at 1:45 pm
thefanny
Oh, sweet lord, those boots! I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything so atrocious.
August 2, 2007 at 1:46 pm
cdp
“And apparently this shoe has a tooth ache. Why else would it wrap that thing around itself?”
Seriously? I am laughing my ass off.
August 2, 2007 at 1:52 pm
clinkny
Dude, you crack me UP. I can’t even deal with you. Where do you find this stuff?
I think I’m most offended by the boots. I work with someone who would totally wear them under the banner of “I’m a Brooklyn hipster and I can wear whatever because it’s IRONIC.”
August 2, 2007 at 2:07 pm
kwarterlifecrisis
Haha. I agree with Clink on basically everything she said. The boots are the worst. There’re like tribal-indian-rain-dance-boots gone totally bad. And made available to the general public. I’m also saddened by the fact that somewhere there is a person who’s favorite pair of shoes are those exact boots.
August 2, 2007 at 2:08 pm
Sass
I can’t even look at them.
August 2, 2007 at 3:06 pm
DG
I want to throw up and laugh hysterically at the same time. I really think you need to publish a book on this stuff. Great coffee table material
August 2, 2007 at 10:34 pm
tattler
You’ve really outdone yourself here, Molly — these might be the all-time ugliest shoes EVER. Nice work! (Love the toe fungus comment, by the way, and the stinky cheese feet one. So funny.)
August 3, 2007 at 9:29 am
Courtney
The last pair, if they did not have holes in them, and appeared in nice colors–maybe all pink or something–could (stressing that there’s a possibility) be cute.