I have a very wonderful aunt who reads my blog (Hi, Su-Su!). Recently, she mentioned to my mom that she was concerned I was divulging too much information in my posts. I understand she’s worried. She’s afraid some psycho is going to find me, tear me into little pieces and feed me to his pet iguana. (Actually, aren’t iguanas omnivores? I could totally be making this up.)
At first I kind of laughed it off. Me? I don’t divulge too much. Only my name, profession, boyfriend’s name, daily activities and my bra size.
Oh…
So now I’m slightly concerned. The thing is, I like my blog. No, I LOVE my blog, and the last thing I want to do is censor myself. But am I putting myself at risk by not?
I’ve built such a strong community through my writing–through shared experiences and common ideas. I don’t want to hide from you the details of my someday wedding, the joys of getting pregnant and everything in between. I like what we have going here. But I’m slightly concerned.
I think if I changed the way I wrote and stopped telling you all these things it wouldn’t really be These Little Moments anymore, would it?
What do you think? Have I told too much?
32 comments
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September 7, 2007 at 1:34 pm
clinkny
Well, personally, I know more about you than I know about some of my own family members but in terms of divulging too much on the blog…I think you’re okay.
I understand the concern - hell, I even get concerned about it and I’m mostly anonymous - but your readers are awesome and you haven’t had a problem thus far.
Plus, you wouldn’t be you if you changed things up. It would be Faux Molly instead of Real and Fabulous Molly and who wants that? No one, that’s who.
September 7, 2007 at 1:37 pm
La
Unless you’ve given out your address, phone number and social security number, you’re probably safe. Besides, you have a big strong man to protect you. (Wow, how 50’s did that sound?!) But seriously, I think you give us just the right amount of information, and we all keep coming back for more. We heart you!!
September 7, 2007 at 1:40 pm
Anna
So hard to know, esp. with kids involved I think about this a lot, but then I also think about the 600 squillion other blogs out there giving out way more information and that have a lot more readers than mine (Hello Dooce) and they seem ok.
I think you’re doing it just right.
September 7, 2007 at 1:56 pm
onebigholiday
I think you should be ok. I see your point that maybe somewhere lurking is a crazied reader who might use this information for evil. But still, this is your blog…. and the fact that you are so open makes this blog really great..That’s why I continue to read it…just dont blog about your SSN, pin number or anything like that
September 7, 2007 at 2:04 pm
Miriam
I think you’re good. I mean, sure Rhode Island is a small state but you’re still good.
People just worry too much in this day and age. It’s sad really. Weren’t their psycho stalker-killers way back when too? I mean sure we’re slightly more accesible now but nothing you’ve said on this site will lead a new age Jack the Ripper to your doorstep.
Plus Kodiak could shred them to bits. I’m sure!
September 7, 2007 at 2:11 pm
Jess
My fiance keeps telling me that I’m going to get mugged for all the talk about purses and iPods and engagement rings on my blog, but so far everything has been fine. I think you and I are both fine.
September 7, 2007 at 2:15 pm
mikesgotnothin
I don’t know. Maybe we should have some ice cream and discuss it. But, seriously, you’re fine. No worries. I sit next to you (almost) every day and I really don’t think there’s much difference between what the blogging world learns from what the rest of us learn.
September 7, 2007 at 2:20 pm
sasharay
It seems people like “This Fish” and Stephanie Klien and Dooce are ok. I think you’re fine.
If a crazy really wants you, they will find you through IP address or pubic record or something crazy and stakerish like. I mean, the guy who works on your bank account sees more informaton about you, and you’re still fine. ya know?
Plus we love the fabulous molly… so don’t change
September 7, 2007 at 2:31 pm
Sass
No. Defintiely not TMI. I think you have the perfect balance.
September 7, 2007 at 2:59 pm
kwarterlifecrisis
I completely understand that fine line of not enough versus too much. That was one of the things TB was upset about when he found my old one - the personal stuff that I divulged to virtual strangers.
I think you’re fine though. Yeah, you write about personal stuff but you don’t have any stalker crazy readers. It’s also not like you’re posting ‘My full name is blah blah blah, my social security number is XXX-XX-XXXX, my home address is 1234 Main Street’ etc. I think you have a good balance of personal but not TOO personal stuff here. I mean, you’re a blog expert, remember?!
September 7, 2007 at 3:08 pm
The Casual Perfectionist
My hubby and Su-Su must be related. I have a family website that we set up to share Claire with our friends and relatives out of state. It is username/password protected, because he was so paranoid about it. I have my public blog, but we go by Daddy and Momma…not because I lost all sense of self when Claire was born, but because we wanted to remain incognito. I use Claire’s real name and picture, but when she gets to be old enough for school, I may stop that, too…I haven’t decided yet, and I’m glad I have a few years to figure that out.
Not to scare you, but when I was in college, I had a stalker that found me in cyberspace and figured out who I was in real life. I wasn’t attacked, and he left me alone eventually, but it scared me more than you can even imagine. From that moment forward, I was very careful about my personal information online.
It’s something to think about, but you have to do what you feel comfortable doing. To be honest, I wouldn’t know if the Faux Molly was any different than the Real Molly…but that’s because I don’t know you in real life. Cyberspace is great in that we only show others what we want to show them…and that can be tricky at times. I know I like what you have to say, so I would lean toward not changing what isn’t broken…but that’s just me.
September 7, 2007 at 3:14 pm
cdp
Yeah, I think this is a fairly common concern among bloggers and the many people who love us.
I agree with everyone else - I think you’re good. From a reader’s standpoing, I wouldn’t change a thing. Not TMI. I love my little glimpses into Molly’s world.
Happy weekend!
September 7, 2007 at 3:59 pm
aernyc
I think you’re just fine, as long as you dont give out any very personal information (like where you live, what time you are going to be at your starbucks of choice, bank account number, etc) it’d be hard to find you, especially in nyc!
Thats what I keep having to tell my mother, who this morning cried that I was giving out TMI by having “gym, errands, hw, downtown” on my away message for AIM. Apparently the psychos who can’t view my profile will figure out which gym out of the hundreds in ny, figure out what stores i could possibly be running my errands at and where downtown i am and stalk me.
I mean i have been stalked before, and it was rather frightening but I think you’re safe.
September 7, 2007 at 4:04 pm
Lisa
That sounds like something my father would say. To be honest, I guess it is a bit of a risk. But it’s one of the things that make you such a great read - you’re candid, unfiltered, honest. You get so little of that these days. Also, if there were some psycho stalker out to get you, I’m pretty sure he’d find other means of getting information on you.
September 7, 2007 at 4:16 pm
Michelle
What’s life if you never take a risk, right?
And I don’t think you’re divulging too much at all. My first thought when I read this(as a few others have mentioned) was Dooce. I mean she seems to have survived years of blogging and she posts pics of Leta, has her last name on there, and even a P.O. Box address.
I would be cautious of course, but keep doing what you’re doing girl!
September 7, 2007 at 4:49 pm
alissa
Damn…. Now I’m nervous that I give out too much information!
September 7, 2007 at 4:55 pm
crystall
I have my address on my blog and have had access to my phone number on there. I don’t know what the word censor even means.
So to me? I don’t think you tell that much. Ask your boyfriend, you put pics up of him and whatever. If that doesn’t bother him…then you’re good.
More people can hunt you down on myspace.
September 7, 2007 at 5:20 pm
Kateastrophe
You’re asking the girl who accidentally posted her address! Hahaha.
I know people who share way more than you do. I think you’re fine!!
September 7, 2007 at 5:39 pm
Margarita
Perhaps you should learn self defense or get a big, bad guard dog
Kidding.
Most people “think” you’ll be fine, and I agree. Only a serious nut would put together all the clues in your blog and try to track you down. That being said, the world is full of serious nuts. I guess it’s whatever you feel comfortable with.
September 7, 2007 at 6:07 pm
DG
I don’t think you have anything to worry about. As long as its not very descriptive - like, what’s your SSN - than, I think you’ll be ok
September 7, 2007 at 6:53 pm
Chelle
Here’s what strikes me as worrisome… I am now the 3rd female to post a comment about being stalked.
This a-hole used the web to harrass, but he didn’t find me there. Our paths crossed in person and the web was just another tool.
Frightening. Frustrating. So I guess what I’d say is– your blog is cool, but if a jerk messing with you finds your blog… then there is cause for concern.
September 7, 2007 at 7:09 pm
Peter
It’s funny how some people view the net, eh?
I love hearing my mother say, in a very judgmental tone, “They met… on the internet.”
September 7, 2007 at 8:18 pm
libby
don’t change! what you share in writing is what half your readers actually experience but are too scared to share. you’re refreshing like that! keep the personal details to yourself…you haven’t written a last name either and thats good. but not to discredit your aunt it IS a valid concern, but you’re not giving TMI or enough to be scared!
September 7, 2007 at 9:22 pm
Dani
don’t worry until there is cause to worry!
September 7, 2007 at 10:16 pm
brookem
im just getting to know you, so i think the more info the better. perhaps im biased?
i think people who dont blog (aka, your aunt) dont totally get it. i agree, it’s not as though you’re giving up your address and atm code. i think it’s fine what you’re sharing. if you ever get to a point where you feel any sort of uncomfortableness with tmi, then you could address it then.
September 9, 2007 at 9:03 am
Princess Taj
I think it’s more likely for a crazy stalker killer guy to follow you home from the local coffee shop then it is for someone to hunt you down via your blog.
Crazies usually covet what they see, not who they read. I think you’re perfectly ok!
September 9, 2007 at 4:41 pm
Lisa
Man, this is something I’m sort of worried about, too. I let people from work read it, but only my friends. I never write things that offend people (other than my old roommate- she deserved it. And she never read my blog), but still, I do give out a lot of information. I wish there was someway to see EVERYBODY that read it… like if people had to subscribe to the RSS… I would feel like I could monitor. I don’t know. Anyway- I hear you.
September 9, 2007 at 9:22 pm
caitlynintherye
I’m actually the forty-nine year old creepy man that lives around the corner from you and sits outside your place in a van.
No, I’m not, but I really think that you’re fine. I had a freak out about a month back when I saw that someone had been searching for my name (you know how you can see what people’s search topics were? Yeah. My full name.)
September 10, 2007 at 12:50 am
Charlotte
Oh I have these silly concerns too. Every blogger does, once in a while. The trick is to tell, but not all…be cryptic now and then and you’re as safe as you can be!
September 10, 2007 at 9:48 am
makingmountains
I choose to be anonymous, but only because of my profession and wanting to talk about work “stuff” without people being able to instantly know who I am. I’m sure nobody at work will ever find my blog, but ya never know. And I feel I can be more uncensored if I’m somewhat anonymous.
But! If it weren’t for my profession, I’d totally share the kinds of things that you do (and I’d post pics all the time, because I really miss pics on my blog!). Like others have commented above, it’s not like you’re giving out your SSN or your bank account numbers. If someone really wants to harm you, they’ll find a way to do it - blog or not. Ya know? I think you’re pretty safe. You’re a smart cookie, and you totally know what’s appropriate and not appropriate for publication on your site. Go with your gut and I think you’ll be just fine.
September 10, 2007 at 3:34 pm
Princess Pointful
I think if you feel free and comfortable, that’s what matters. I don’t think I have quite enough information if I wanted to be a legitimate stalker– but, then again, I’m not a real stalker, so what do I know?
I choose to be mostly anonymous because I appreciate the freedom… and I have an extrodinarily weird first name that would allow any random googler to find me. But sometimes I don’t like the secrecy with these people I feel I have come to know through their writing… it almost feels disingenious.
September 12, 2007 at 2:48 pm
Amber
Ooh, tough question. I worry about this sometimes, too - most recently when someone claiming to be my neighbour found my blog and started posting abuse on it. The thing is, we run our own business: the business website HAS to have an address and phone number on it, so really, I could be traced instantly. You, on the other hand, probably couldn’t without a lot of detective work, so I think you’ll be fine.
My rule of thumb is to never write anything I wouldn’t be happy to have everyone who knows me read. And to call the police if anyone ever decides to stalk me…