“The family - that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape, nor, in our inmost hearts, ever quite wish to.” ~Dodie Smith
It was somewhere between my second glass of wine and my fist serving of lasagna that I noticed how happy I was. Sitting around the table with both my parents–divorced for almost 15 years, but still sharing Christmas Eve together. In true family tradition, it was unconventional. Last year we shared a dinner of Christmas Eve burritos. But it’s not the food that matters, it’s the company.
There were some rough years. Arguments, accusations, name calling. Holidays were divided, not shared. And while there is still the occasional disagreement or dispute over something, as far as divorced parents go, they get along pretty well.
That night I listened as they reminisced about years past. About adventures in their 20s and who they were at my age. And although I couldn’t relate to all they had done (they call me the black sheep of the family–a quintessential girly-girl who would not fit in communally living or jamming with a band), I could understand together or apart, my parents are extraordinary people.
That night as Michael and I drifted off to sleep, I thought about our relationship and where we’ll be 30 years from now. Both being products of divorce, it is extremely important to both of us that our vows remain true for the rest of our lives. But aside from that, I hope that one day we can sit at the dinner table on Christmas Eve with both my parents and our very own children, sharing a dinner of burritos or lasagna and the stories of who we once were and who we have become.




27 comments
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December 27, 2007 at 3:50 pm
ChasingParadise
That gave me goosebumps. If only all children of divorced parents were so lucky!
December 27, 2007 at 4:01 pm
bloggingbarbie
last year our xmas dinner was pancakes. my dad and i had one two many glasses of wine and my mom went to bed early xmas eve….which resulted in us accidentally leaving the turkey out. dethawing. overnight.
to this day, we laugh about it and our Pancakes for Xmas dinner. It’s probably one of my favorite memories. like you said, its not the food- its the people you’re with that make it. i’m so glad your family has found peace in your family situation. you’re a lucky girl.
happy holidays, mol. xoxo, bb
December 27, 2007 at 4:08 pm
damsel in digress
beautiful post. i love that you and michael are so aware, so serious about your vows being true for the rest of your lives.
is it selfish of me to hope you’re still blogging when that dinner of christmas burritos or lasagna with michael, your children, and your parents happens so we can hear all about it? maybe. but i’m a sucker for happily ever afters
merry belated christmas, molly
December 27, 2007 at 4:19 pm
Katie
How wonderful a moment to realize just how happy being with family can make you. Sounds like you had a wonderful Christmas.
December 27, 2007 at 4:25 pm
Jess
Torsten and I were alone together in Miami on Christmas Eve this year and wound up eating in an Argentinian restaurant for dinner. The important thing was being together, though, and I liked the unconventional food. Though for me it was weird not being home with my family. It was nice to see them on Christmas itself. Like you, I hope to have many generations of our family celebrating holidays together, no matter what food we may be eating.
December 27, 2007 at 4:30 pm
crystall
I started thinking about my divorced parents sitting together in a room. Would. Never. Happen.
So, here’s to you, and Bruce Willis and Demi Moore for totally rocking that shit - so, so, awesome.
December 27, 2007 at 4:33 pm
Sassafras
Perfectly written.
I’m grateful that my parents can be civil towards each other and was very grateful that they put it all aside for me on my wedding day. It was nice to feel like I had parents, not just a mom and a dad.
December 27, 2007 at 4:35 pm
Michelle and the City
my parents just started to be able to sit and talk in a room together. it’s a nice feeling. i’m glad you were able to enjoy both parents together on christmas. you are ever so lucky.
December 27, 2007 at 5:10 pm
Peter DeWolf
This may be my favouritest Molly post ever.
December 27, 2007 at 5:10 pm
theramblinghousewife
Great post!
December 27, 2007 at 5:11 pm
Britt
Thats so awesome. My divorced parents cant be within 100km’s of eachother for fear of exploding on eachother, so you’re a lucky girl!
Burritos is fun. We do pizza
December 27, 2007 at 5:16 pm
littlespoon
It’s the season. It makes everything so warm, so fuzzy
December 27, 2007 at 6:29 pm
Chelle
My parents are still married and can’t be in the same room together without the ugliness. Just had seven days of this merriment… But I’m glad to hear some people get through the ugliness and onto other things in life.
Yeah Molly’s mom and dad!
December 27, 2007 at 8:55 pm
La
This post just made me grin from ear to ear. I’m so happy for you, Molly. I don’t know a more deserving person of this kind of happiness.
hugs!
December 27, 2007 at 10:35 pm
itsallabouthallie
Yeah for Molly’s mom and dad! I hope someday i can sit in the same room as my childrens father without the ugliness. I loved this post!
Merry christmas! Happy New Year!
December 28, 2007 at 12:31 am
Anna
Family—for better or worse, it is who we are and what we came from, and the inspiration for all we can be. What a joyous expression of your holiday in such a wonderful year! Merry, merry!
And, uh, could you please send me your address again? Like I couldn’t hold on it from your card and your email? Thank you!
December 28, 2007 at 12:45 am
Laurie Kendrick
You aren’t you parents. and what happened to them isn’t necessarily a foreshadowing of your life to come. That is, you won’t if you refuse to become a statistic. Instead, vow to stay together…to work things out.
I feel certain dear Molly Girl, that you’re a realist. You don’;t have a completely romanticized notion of what your wedded life will be. You know better and considering Micheal’s experience, do does he.
There will be great times. You will laugh them through.
There will be hardships. You will work them through.
There will be difficult, heart-rendering times. You will cry them through.
You and Michael will be fine if you endeavor to be fine. Is divorce an option? Of course it is, but I suggest you live and LOVE like is isn’t.
Happy New Year, Molly!!!
LK
December 28, 2007 at 12:48 am
pbandrazz
awww, that is a sweet story. sounds like a great holiday overall - and it’s important that you realized how happy you were.
and i dig the xmas eve burritos. this year it was me and my parents at buca di beppo digging into some pizza and pasta. and chocolate cake.
also, am digging the shoes you are wanting.
December 28, 2007 at 1:10 am
Jason
That is a really sweet story.
December 28, 2007 at 9:27 am
miss a
aww nice. I love it when my parents tell those stories too. Though I really want to hear some NEW ones. I’ve heard the old ones A LOT.
December 28, 2007 at 10:51 am
Pessimistic Redhead
My parents are separated and while nothing will ever make it feel normal, having them together at holidays is wonderful and SO much better than the first Christmas when we split it up. Happy New Year.
December 28, 2007 at 11:54 am
dreamgrrl
god isnt it fun to think about your life as a real-life married person, in reality, not just day-dreaming?!
December 28, 2007 at 2:41 pm
Barb
Everytime I read something like this from you.. I get tears in my eyes…
December 28, 2007 at 6:19 pm
elizabethews
Very beautiful.
I’m so glad that you were able to be with both your parents. And Michael!
December 28, 2007 at 10:40 pm
Tina Vaziri
That’s so sweet. My dad and his new wife came to my mom’s side of the fam’s Christmas this year, it was really nice. You and Michael will have such wonderful family gatherings!
December 30, 2007 at 1:37 pm
Lisa
I know what you mean… Jeff and I are both products of divorce (or annulment, since we don’t have divorce here), and I feel like it’s that much more important for us that “our vows remain true for the rest of our lives”. It’s going to be a fantastic year and life for you, Molly.
Have fun at Vegas!
January 8, 2008 at 6:37 am
Sid
First time I’m reading your blog. I’m envious. Your life seems so fascinating.