I forgot ‘P’ in my alphabet soup yesterday, but I got one today. ‘P’ is for Pain in the ass once a month Period that makes me irritable, tired and wanting nothing more than to crawl back in bed and sleep away this rainy day.
But I can’t, of course, so instead, I wore yoga pants to work. I debated it a little, but my office can go anywhere from dressy to t-shirts and hats so I wasn’t too worried. And when I came in, I knew I had made the right decision. I have never been more comfortable sitting at my desk than I am today. Perfect.
Speaking of comfort, I was decidedly uncomfortable yesterday as I was finishing up at the gym. I don’t know what you wear to the gym, but you can usually find me in cropped black pants, a sports bra and either a t-shirt or a tank top. I am also the color of a human being. Just putting it out there because it will be important in a minute.
As we’re getting ready to leave, a girl prances in front of me and Jen wearing teeny, tiny hot pink tight shorts, a sports bra and a men’s shirt with the neck cut off so far that her wearing it was just an excuse to say, “no, I’m not naked, I am so wearing a shirt” because it wouldn’t stay on her and was exposing everything. Every. Thing. And the worst part? She was orange. You know my feelings on this. It’s March, hunnie. No one is naturally that tan in March. You look bad.
Oh…and she hadn’t even worked up a sweat because she was too busy playing with her iPod and checking out her own ass in the mirror. (Yes, I’m pissy.) This kind of stuff bugs me on a normal week, but throw in some wacky hormones and forget about it.
The only way to remedy my mood was to curl up on the couch with Michael and eat half a bag of chocolate Cadbury Mini Eggs, their arrival at CVS being probably the only good thing about March.
Now you’ll have to excuse me, I have to go pout about being at work and actually be productive because they’re not paying me to blog.
Although that would be perfection.
41 comments
Comments feed for this article
March 12, 2008 at 10:15 am
renae68
I can’t believe I actually get to leave the first comment.
Wishing you a comfy, productive day with lots of chocolate. 
March 12, 2008 at 10:16 am
renae68
I can’t believe I actually get to leave the first comment.
Wishing you a comfy, productive day with lots of chocolate. 
March 12, 2008 at 10:27 am
Ashley
in the words of you,
“It’s Rhode Island, it’s February (March), and you look like an asshole.”
and you already know how i feel about the yoga pant wearing to work.
March 12, 2008 at 10:32 am
Sara
I am pretty sure you thunderjacked my brain and wrote this for me today. Except I didn’t get to wear Yoga pants to work (SO JEALOUS!), so I’m sitting here in jeans. Uncomfortable, and just plain irritable and bloated and fat today.
People should never look like oompa loompas. I don’t care what time of the year it is.
March 12, 2008 at 10:34 am
Kat @ The Burb Blog
We all have those orange people we know…
I think it’s stupid too. So glad someone else agrees with me around here.
March 12, 2008 at 10:46 am
Courtney
I can’t stand orange people. A friend of a friend hung out with us on Saturday night (and yes, I will be catty) and she was ORANGE. And her outfit selection: trashy. Even my friend who invited her out was like oh, wow, look at you (and not in a good way).
March 12, 2008 at 10:51 am
littlespoon
Tanning only makes sense when you’re building up a tolerance before a tropical vacay. It should not be an all the time thing. It’s disgusting and no one on God’s green (ok brown, thanks drought) Earth should ever not be normal human colored.
March 12, 2008 at 10:56 am
puremotif
i absolutely positively love cadbury mini eggs. good decision eating those
March 12, 2008 at 10:58 am
julybug
I am all too familiar with that particular breed of gym hooch. I’ve seen mine jogging in the neighborhood in a white shirt, with a v neck to her belly button and no sports bra. IN THE RAIN.
March 12, 2008 at 11:06 am
chasingparadise
I sympathize! There was totally this girl who used to “work out” (and I use that term very loosely) at my gym. I never actually saw her running on the treadmill, using the elliptical, or even touching a weight, however. She mostly pranced around in teeny-tiny shorts, a sports bra, a full face of makeup, and hair down to her shoulders. Seriously, she never broke a sweat! First of all, who comes to the gym and wears a sports bra by itself?! Second of all, did she just apply her makeup in the womens’ locker room mirror? And third (ugh…apparently I’M pissy too)…who is dumb enough to leave their long hair out of a ponytail at the gym? All she ever did was walk around and flirt with boys. I used to want to trip her…hard…and watch her fall. muahahahahaha
March 12, 2008 at 11:08 am
Are You Willing to Change
I’m all too familiar with that feeling also when someone comes into the gym wearing their outfit that they probably picked out a few days ago just to wear to the gym the one day that they go. So crazy! And then the tan look in March, is so gross! I think it’s crazy!
March 12, 2008 at 11:09 am
pie
Its days like this when I love being brown. I cannot imagine wanting to be orange. Do you think the orange even realize they are orange or do they really think they are fooling someone? Ah one of lifes mysteries.
I haven’t been to the gym in weeks. This is bad. Very bad. My period is the current excuse.
March 12, 2008 at 11:12 am
sizzlesays
Ugh, I hate period time. It sucks!
Orange? GAH!
March 12, 2008 at 11:26 am
dreamgrrl
Oh man how glorious this Post is. B/c you know how i feel about little girls and their long ass hair DOWN at the gym. It’s Preposterous. They dont look Pretty. Well, maybe Pretty stupid.
Thank God i’ve lost all will and desire to ever tan when it is not summer, I hate orange girls. And our gym outfits sound exactly alike.
I want to wear yoga Pants. Peace.
hahaha sorry with all the P’s
March 12, 2008 at 11:41 am
Anna
I want to go home at lunch and put yoga pants on.
March 12, 2008 at 11:41 am
Jessica
I bought Cadbury eggs for Easter baskets…I should have waited because I can hear them calling from the kitchen pantry - and I’m at work!
Definitely hate the little not-actually-working-out, little-outfit-wearers at the gym. They are all over the place. I love JulyBug’s “gym hooch” comment.
There is a chick at my gym who wears little sandals with HEELS to go to and from the pool. HEELS!?
March 12, 2008 at 11:50 am
La
My best girl alerted me to the magic that is the Cadbury mini-egg, and I ate an entire bag in three days.
March 12, 2008 at 12:14 pm
judi
i’m amused b/c in 2nd grade i think, i won a contest in class by coming up with the most words that start with P
March 12, 2008 at 12:28 pm
apollocreed
hahaha - dude i totally know what you’re saying. I hate many things about my gym. Dudes can be just as bad.
March 12, 2008 at 12:43 pm
JenBun
Periods are a pain and they can peace out! (haha, dumb.)
My work can be pretty casual, too (which I love, except when I get asked on a date in the middle of the day, when I hadn’t prepared for it, and then I have to decide to either be super casual, or run home and change. This is why we have to train boys to PLAN AHEAD. OK, rant portion over.), so the yoga pants sounded awesome… then I remembered that it’s like 70-something degrees right now, and that’s why I’m wearing capris. They are comfy, though.
Cadbury mini eggs are SO good. I had to force myself NOT to buy some the other day… SO excited I have the option, though!
The gym floozy? Not cute. Boys realize that THAT girl is dumb… they just like her for her, uh, personality? hahaha
March 12, 2008 at 1:02 pm
Melissa
I said Screw You to winter and am wearing my new Pretty Pink sPring coat today. And I’m skipping the gym today in favor of a massage, but I will go for a walk. Outside. Because…Screw You, Winter.
March 12, 2008 at 1:33 pm
Angela
Oh, I wish I was wearing yoga pants today! I hope you feel better soon–and feel free to send over the other half of that Cadbury bag!!
March 12, 2008 at 1:57 pm
heidikins
Haha, I hate orange people. And I can say that without any kind of racial baggage because, hello, people do not come in orange. I’m naturally albinoish and hate hate HATE the orange people with unnaturally white teeth and unnaturally peroxided hair. Ugh, don’t they realize they look like freaks?!
xox
March 12, 2008 at 1:59 pm
bing
I totally hate the orange fake tanners. In Georgia, they are everywhere. It’s so ugly. I wish someone would let them know.
I love those Cadbury mini-eggs. I really should go buy some…maybe they’ll cure my PMS.
March 12, 2008 at 2:04 pm
lfar
I LOVE CADBURY MINI EGGS
In my class at the gym yesterday I had some girls like those. And they were hogging the mirror space. I like to be near the mirror so I can watch my form (it’s a weight lifting class). And they kept talking! Loudly! Agh! So annoying.
March 12, 2008 at 2:06 pm
Carrie
I HATE girls like that at the gym. One time I took a spinning class with a girl who was clearly checking herself out in the mirror about 95% of the time - actually turning her head 90 degrees to look at herself. I was astonished that she was so blatant about it.
March 12, 2008 at 2:18 pm
Sandy
It’s hoochie orange girls like those that helped make my decision on which health club to use. We have 2 huge ones in our town, one (mine) is mainly filled with old people. A ton of like, really old people, and then many middle aged 30-45yr olds. The other one? Is filled with the people you’re all describing. The heels to the pool, the orange year round tan, sports bras and running shorts constantly. I throw on an oversized tshirt and some yoga pants, with my hair in a bun (usually pre-shower), so I think it’s clear which gym I attend.
Otherwise- I’d go nuts!
March 12, 2008 at 3:06 pm
Searching insights
Oh, too funny because…
1. My best friend and I use the term “Orange” to describe girls just like the one you described. My favorite is when a chubby chick wears VSecret pants with “PINK” sprawled across her ass. Like wearing a VS article of clothing will make you hot like a VS model.
2. The chicks like the one you described piss the SHIT out of me. Especially when they do awkward and attention getting stretched in FRONT OF THE ENTIRE GYM. Hello!!! That’s why they have mats to STRETCH ON!!!!!
3. I can not stand it when people talk on their cell phone while WALKING on a treadmill. Especially if I want to RUN on it! If you can talk while working out then there’s a reason why you’re chunky.
4. I totally judge people by what gym clothes they wear. Generally my preconceived notion of their outfit matches perfectly with their personality. I don’t wear those teeny tiny shorts because it’s uncomfortable to be pulling them down every minute of my workout! I can’t wear just a sports bra cause I need my tshirt to soak up the shower I take in my own sweat!
March 12, 2008 at 3:17 pm
Anon
P is for pathetic at you judging a person because they like to go tanning. It might be a little much, but she’s not hurting anyone last I checked. Just proves how shallow you are. And you being pissy and on your period isn’t an excuse to bash someone else. Oh and in regards to this comment, if you can dish it out then you should be able to take it.
March 12, 2008 at 3:30 pm
alissa
I so wish I could wear my yoga pants to work!
March 12, 2008 at 3:43 pm
Kateastrophe
Oooh yoga pants to work sounds dreamy!
Is it sad that I kind of like having a pissy day now and again? Just being mad for no reason can feel so damn good! Hahaha
March 12, 2008 at 3:44 pm
katelin
Man, my office is casual but I don’t think I could pull of yoga pants to work, haha. I really wish I could though.
Lovely post Molly.
March 12, 2008 at 3:48 pm
Michelle and the City
that would be perfection
March 12, 2008 at 3:52 pm
Caitlyn
I only recently found your blog and find it mostly interesting for several reasons. I also find that it bugs me for several reasons that I won’t get into. The good outweighs the bad, which in the end, is all you can ask for.
I try not to judge, as a former sorority girl, it’s hard because that’s one of the rules of being one of those girls.
This is the first time that I read your comments and, wow, talk about judgemental! Ms. Searching Insights, wow. You say you judge ppl on what they wear to the gym, but I think you judge everyone on everything. So it’s only chunky chicks that wear VS sweats that look ridiculous? I bet there are a lot of unattractive women in general that wear VS stuff and have no chance of ever being a model.
Ms. Molly, I enjoy your writing, but fear what it means if your readers are like this!
March 12, 2008 at 3:53 pm
Caitlyn
Oh, and I’m not sure if my email address is accessible and I wanted to be sure that you knew I wasn’t trying to just leave a less than positive comment and be a coward about it like anon. superteal@gmail.com if you’re interested.
cs
March 12, 2008 at 4:28 pm
Nic
I thought this post was lovely and funny.
I was once orange for a wedding. It wasn’t intentional, but holy hell, I won’t be doing that again. It’s not pleasant. I always wonder about people who do it religiously and want to do an intervention with a picture of Dina Lohan.
March 12, 2008 at 4:59 pm
JSauce
Delurking to say people, please, if you don’t like a blog, don’t read a blog. It’s a simple decision, and it doesn’t require your assvice/feedback.
Also, vote NO on Orange Hoes!!! Call me judgmental, I could care less. There is a group of girls at my gym that I’ve dubbed the “Cheetah Girls” (orange, get it ba-dmm chssh) who walk around in skin tight shorts and a sports bra, and the only machine I’ve ever seen them use is the Abductor machine where you open and close your legs. Go figure.
March 12, 2008 at 5:04 pm
distracted spunk
I actually thought about this at the gym yesterday. There are people who barely move on the elliptical, and gab with their friends or on their phone. Same thing for the treadmill. The worst? Is when I want to use a weight machine, but there is a gaggle of girls just sitting on the machines or talking on their phone and not moving much while using the machine. If you’re only lifting 5 or 10 pounds on the machines, and barely at that, get off and let someone who knows what to do with it on.
Whoo! Thanks for the space to vent.
March 12, 2008 at 5:04 pm
Kate
P is for pencil skirt and jealous of yoga pants!
March 12, 2008 at 7:34 pm
christine
Two things.
One. Cadbury Mini-Eggs are my absolute Favorite. Candy. Ever. Last night, I crushed a small bag of them and mixed them into vanilla bean ice cream. I was in dessert heaven.
Two. I personally don’t mind people posting rude and critical comments - if you’re rude or critical, then you’re rude or critical, and God bless you anyway. But you should have the balls (or the breasts) to identify yourself somehow. To sign as “Anon” is just spineless.
March 13, 2008 at 11:02 pm
Chelle
My dream is to get Christine and the Big Boss in the same room and watch it happen. Oh yeah. It would so happen!