It’s starts with curiosity. Why is it taking so long? A brief encounter three hours earlier — just long enough to hand a bagged dinner to a weary boy going on hour 15 of work — left me with just enough information. One last thing to do, I’ll be home as soon as I can.
The clock ticks by. I call once. Then again. My mind starts to wander, first to the probable (he left his phone in the truck, he fell asleep) to the panicked (he was in an accident, something happened. Something happened!)
I call again. Each time the voicemail clicks over my heart catches in my throat. He’s picking up! But he is not.
Alone in a house, the minutes passing into a new day, the mind starts to wander. The vision of a late fiance snowballs into a fiance that never comes home. My mind races to a hospital, a family in tears, a house sold, a woman wrecked.
I call again. The tears sting hot in my eyes and I find myself asking someone above for his safety. Please bring him home to me.
The TV, a distraction, but not a solution. Channels changed, nothing watched.
The phone rings and I cry in happiness. He’s coming home.
Tip for a successful relationship: never, ever leave your phone in the car.
39 comments
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May 1, 2008 at 9:29 am
littlespoon
Our minds play such evil tricks on us. One of my biggest fears is losing my husband. I shudder just thinking about it.
May 1, 2008 at 9:32 am
dreamgrrl
oh my god I do the EXACT SAME THING. I think it’s just in our nature. I don’t know if guys ever get like this, but I know that after an hour of no contact when I thought he should be home, I freak out and go down the same spiral of “wait, what if something happened” etc etc etc. I hate when my mind wanders. Worst. feeling. ever.
May 1, 2008 at 9:39 am
Golightly
I do the same, too. And this happened to us (me and my boyfriend) just awhile ago. I was so worried, I started to call his friends and they must’ve all thought I was nuts
May 1, 2008 at 9:46 am
Jennie
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve done this! I think we lose all ability to be rational when worry takes over.
May 1, 2008 at 9:47 am
Jessica
There is nothing worse than that click before voicemail picks up. My imagination gets dangerous at times like that. I’m sure your entire body breathed a sigh of relief when he finally called!
May 1, 2008 at 9:49 am
Elle
I do this too but not just with boyfriend…I do it with my parents a lot. They were supposed to be here at 3ish when they came down to visit (and meet Rob!) last weekend, and didn’t get here to close to 5, and neither of them were answering their cell phones (apparently the phones didn’t ring!) I even had my sisters calling and worrying, and was checking accident reports in Jersey, Del, and MD!
May 1, 2008 at 9:51 am
Sparkel
When my sister was 16 she and her first boyfriend (and lemme tell you, they were puppy love personified) had their first fight the day before he got into a car accident on his way home from a party. He went into a coma and died four days later, and it still haunts her that she never got to say “sorry” or “goodbye,” and that she waited so long to say “I love you,” because he never knew. I think about that every. single. time. my boyfriend leaves and is late coming back.
May 1, 2008 at 9:53 am
Michelle & the City
i have definitely been there.
but since you read my worrying post today, you could probably have guessed that
i swear the worrying gene is built into our DNA.
May 1, 2008 at 9:54 am
Melissa
I do that with everyone. When they’re late, when they don’t answer the phone, etc. I immediately think the worst, all the while trying to tell myself that their phone is just on silent or the radio is too loud or whatever. I hate it.
May 1, 2008 at 10:00 am
Valerie
God, I go through this ALL THE TIME with K. Guys just don’t understand, KEEP YOUR PHONE WITH YOU!
May 1, 2008 at 10:02 am
Kris
“Sorry, my phone was in the truck” that’s fine. But really, that’s not what I’m thinking when I call you 900 times because you didn’t answer or call me back the first time.
May 1, 2008 at 10:08 am
elizabethews
I hear ya, sister!
Don’t leave it in the car. Don’t leave it on silent. Don’t let the battery die. Just pick up the phone when I call!!!!!
May 1, 2008 at 10:13 am
bing
I know exactly how you feel because I do the same thing, and it’s awful. It winds up with me tossing and turning all night or panicking at every sound since I think it’s him coming home, but then it’s not.
I seriously wonder if guys feel this way too when we don’t call….
May 1, 2008 at 10:14 am
penelope23
That is me to a T. I am half tempted to send this post to WB so he knows I am not the only one who freaks out.
May 1, 2008 at 10:23 am
Kristen
i went thru something similar the other day. so i totally understand.
May 1, 2008 at 10:28 am
Stacey
Oh girl, I am feelin’ this post! My husband drives 2 hours at least 3 days a week to work and I’m all, “Call me when you get there!” “Call me when you leave!” I try not to panic when he doesn’t answer but if it gets over an hour and he hasn’t called back then I start to panic because the man has to wear his cell phones on his hip becuase they are for WORK. I just can’t stand the thought of losing him. No way.
May 1, 2008 at 10:28 am
Ashley
I’m the same way! When my ex used to work till 3 or 4am I couldn’t sleep until he got home, for fear of any accidents on the way home or whatever other situation I could possibly come up with.
May 1, 2008 at 10:44 am
Rose
Amen.
May 1, 2008 at 10:54 am
DevilsHeaven
F does this ALL THE TIME. I’m so use to it now, I just get angry instead of thinking something is wrong. Also, I often don’t answer when he calls, like last night I was downstairs flipping through the channels and didn’t hear my cell ring, twice. So I guess turn about is fair play.
May 1, 2008 at 11:20 am
Emily
Sounds exactly like what goes through my brain on a semi-weekly basis. Relying on the phone for your long distance relationship makes it all the more important that phones are not left ringing.
May 1, 2008 at 12:04 pm
EM
Wow - you’ve really hit a nerve on this one! DITTO for me!!! Exactly.
May 1, 2008 at 12:09 pm
alexa
it’s sad that i almost want that feeling. because if i had that feeling i would have someone.
omg. that sentence i just posted is WAY too depressing for me. SORRY! haha
May 1, 2008 at 12:39 pm
Caz
um Hi! welcome to my nights too. What makes me madder though is often, he’s just off at the bar drinking and doesn’t bother to call and let me know.
And I freak out that he’s in an accident somewhere etc. and I don’t know about it. So then by the time he comes home, the crazy tends to get out of control and I’m unnaturally mad.
May 1, 2008 at 12:51 pm
tootiesplace
I do the exact same thing. I’m sure there’s got to be some hope for us worriers. (But you’re right - not leaving the phone in the car helps
May 1, 2008 at 12:55 pm
Hope
Yes! That is exactly the way The Spiral works. I usually worry that way when one of my family members does not pick up their phone. Then, when they finally do, I crack under the pressure and yell at them.
May 1, 2008 at 12:58 pm
strange bird
My boyfriend does that to me all the time. He leaves his phone upstairs, he forgets to turn the ringer back on after work or to call me when he has to work late… I hate it. I always assume there’s been a terrible car accident. It’s horrible!
May 1, 2008 at 1:27 pm
Sassafras
It is amazing how fast we can go from, “he left his phone in the car” to “he’s been in an accident, what am I going to do, my life is over!!”
I like your tip - it’s a good one!
May 1, 2008 at 2:23 pm
Audrey
M does this constantly, and it drives me nuts! I think it really is in our DNA to think the worst when this stuff happens.
Oh, and I love, love, love the shoes on your wearing tab. Please tell me where I can get them, so I may add them to the list of shoes I NEED.
Have a wonderful day!
May 1, 2008 at 2:24 pm
Wickedly Scarlett
Oh man, do I totally get that!
Colby has witnessed my meltdowns so frequently, that when he’s been gone for a few days without being able to call or email, he always starts his conversations when he does get in touch with, “I’m not dead in a ditch!”
May 1, 2008 at 2:37 pm
JenBun
Awww, Molls! I’m glad he’s okay.
An amusing anecdote for those who wonder if guys do the same thing: I didn’t answer my phone one day for four hours when my bf at the time was calling (because I was WORKING and IN A MEETING!) and, when I finally called him back (after receiving increasingly frantic texts, voicemails, and even emails!), he said “Weren’t you worried about me?!?”
If they don’t answer, worry about them.
If you don’t answer, worry about how that makes THEM feel.
Boys.
May 1, 2008 at 2:45 pm
Katie
Oy, my husband always yells at me for that. I always forget my cellphone!
May 1, 2008 at 3:26 pm
Amber
Ah, The Spiral - how well I know it. And that sound of the cellphone ringing out and not getting answered - hellish.
May 1, 2008 at 4:18 pm
Audrey
My husband’s phone battery died the night of a snowstorm (we don’t get many of those where we live). I was about seven or eight months pregnant and lost it. I finally - after I knew he’d left work five hours before and the drive in normal conditions takes not more than one hour - called the state patrol and the local hospitals. I didn’t know that his battery had simply died because rather than roll right into voicemail, it kept ringing and then going to voicemail - like it was on but not being answered. When he finally walked in the door, he didn’t get what I was so upset about…
May 1, 2008 at 5:47 pm
B2G
I love how all of us are like, “OMG, me too, we’re all crazies!” Seriously though, you’d think they’d be glad we worry about them instead of not giving a shit?
May 1, 2008 at 6:15 pm
katelin
I am such a worrier too and always think of the worst, oy. Luckily he was okay
May 1, 2008 at 6:35 pm
DG
I get like that ALL OF THE TIME when I can’t get a hold of someone near to me! I totally get it.
May 1, 2008 at 9:39 pm
Princess Taj
Boys are so stupid - never, ever leave the phone in the truck! Geesh!
May 2, 2008 at 5:16 pm
Emily
I have done this so many times and my fiance STILL leaves his phone in the car or it runs out of battery. But every time I assume the worst…
May 3, 2008 at 4:36 pm
poodlegoose
This happens to me at least once a week but he never remembers to take the phone in with him.