Making the Must Play/Do Not Play list for the DJ has been something I’ve been putting off. With today being two weeks before the rehearsal dinner, I can’t put it off much longer.
It’s not that I don’t know what kind of music we like, it’s just that going through the DJ’s song selections is so daunting! Page after page after page.
So I figured since you guys were so great with music before, you could help me out now.
Here’s the definites:
Dinner: Sinatra, Nat King Cole, Michael Buble and the likes. Classic, not distracting.
Party time:
Must plays: Like a Prayer, Living on Prayer (no theme, just good songs), Sweet Caroline (probably towards the end of the night when everyone is loosey goosey), and I need some good current music, although at the moment the only song popping into my head for some reason is London Bridge and NO.
Do not play: Any participation song (ie: the Macarana, Electric Slide, Tootsie Roll). The only time I ever saw this and thought it was cute was at my friend D’s wedding. She and some of her high school friends danced to Cotton Eyed Joe and I don’t know if it’s because she’s so darn hot or if there’s some hilarious about a bride doing a country jig, but it rocked. I cannot see this playing out the same for me.
Ok this is where you come in. Tell me your must plays and do not plays. Keep in mind that Michael would rather slow dance with his mom all evening than listen to any vulgar rap, and unless we’re Stayin’ Alive (oooh or Dancing Queen!), I can do without 70s music.
Many thanks in advance.



44 comments
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October 9, 2008 at 9:26 am
Sara
Play Sweet Caroline early in the night, I promise it will get everyone dancing.
October 9, 2008 at 9:31 am
dreamgrrl
you know this was one of the hardest things for me, and we were deciding songs until the last point possible! Our last song of the night was “livin on a prayer” (for my jersey roots) and it was a HUGE hit. I’ll see if I still have my list, and I’ll send it to you. And remember, like I said – be specific about the whole “no rap” thing or they get a little lenient with it!
October 9, 2008 at 9:32 am
DevilsHeaven
I don’t think we are getting that specific. My guidelines will be more like, nothing Twisted Sister-ish, nothing Snoop Dog-ish, no heavy metal, 40’s to present is fine, I love oldies. Most certainly NOT that train song where everyone makes a drunken train around the hall? UM NO. For dinner it’ll be classical or Deep Forest, or Memory of the Trees, like you said, not distracting stuff.
And yes, we’ve been avoiding doing this too. We are so slammed, we went grocery shopping at 8 pm last night, because we had NO FOOD.
October 9, 2008 at 9:36 am
Alicia
Do not play ~ Ladies Night, Old Time Rock and Roll, No structured dances, YMCA, the “woo-hoo” song by gwen stefani, love shack…
Those songs drive me C-R-A-Z-Y!!!
This is such a hard task!!
October 9, 2008 at 9:43 am
Lori
DO NOT play anything polka. Almost every wedding I go to, some polka is played for the older folk, and it is SOOO annoying.
October 9, 2008 at 9:47 am
Jessica
MUST PLAY: Don’t Stop Believin’ by Journey. Play that around the same time of night as Sweet Caroline
October 9, 2008 at 9:47 am
verybadcat
Idea: other couples’ songs. If any of your wedding party are married, list their first dance songs. Your parent’s song. His parent’s song. Won’t give you a huge must play, but it does give your guests their own little “moment”.
When R was married, I asked the DJ to play “Open Arms” (Journey), because that is mine and WH’s song, and we didn’t even dance to it at our wedding! (long story). That kicked off similar requests, and those are some of the best pics- couples dancing to their songs….
Also, because I’m a total sap? Carole King. “Some Fine Day”.
This is all starting to make me really jealous that I’m not invited…..
October 9, 2008 at 9:53 am
Dutchess of Kickball
I typically don’t condone this sort of thing, but the conga is sort of fun, but definitely late in the game.
October 9, 2008 at 9:54 am
Darcie
We did rock the Cotton Eyed Joe!!!!!! =)
Shook Me All Night Long – ACDC
LOVE the 2 Prayer choices
Pour Some Sugar on Me
And if we’re going on songs that make couples feel good about themselves, then I’d like to hear “Have I Told You Lately” – the Rod Stewart version.
I also enjoy Addicted to Love – Robert Palmer
I will send you my must play list this evening from my house… maybe you will be inspired. But definitely don’t feel like you have to play CEJ… only a Mainer could pull that off at a classy wedding! hahaha.
October 9, 2008 at 9:55 am
nicole
When we met with our DJ, we gave him the standard ‘no participation dances’, and then he went over the demographics of our guests. It seems crazy, but he nailed it! We had a lot of 50-something guests, and he played some great motown that got them going. We have unique taste in music, but that wasn’t what we wanted at our wedding– we wanted the songs that would get people going, the ones that they couldn’t resist dancing to!
The singers and standards theme is great for dinner– we had people get up and dance at that point!
Honestly, don’t bother getting super specific– you hired a DJ because he knows what he’s doing, so let him do his thing! It’s one of those things you should give guidelines for and then just hand it over.
October 9, 2008 at 10:03 am
Becky
I’m not at all good about thinking of specific songs, so I’m no help that way, but I would recommend thinking about your guests, and noting to the DJ what kinds of things you might want to play to make sure everyone gets to participate. My grandparents love to dance, but they often don’t get to because people don’t think to play a real variety of music. It doesn’t have to be a polka, but something for the older folks is usually appreciated.
October 9, 2008 at 10:08 am
JRa
I know we have discussed this vital “do not play list” previously….absolutely no YMCA!! I think 70s music should just be ruled out in general. Also, that newer song that has a dance to it, “everybody clap your hands, one time” i don;t know quite how it goes, but it is no good…
Sir Mix-a-lot “baby got back” is always a crowd pleaser and gets people dancing, as well as Salt n Pepa, old school Bon Jovi, Working for the Weekend – Loverboy, Your Love – The Outfield, Power of Love-Huey Lewis (or any other Huey Lewis and the News songs b/c they are awesome!), The Cars, Bryan Adams. Billy Joel can be more upbeat or slow dance appropriate, some shania twain songs are good slow dance songs. Anything that people can sing along to as they dance is always good.
I hope this helps, and I cannot wait to start dancing at the wedding! It is so soon! weeeeeeeeeeeeee!
October 9, 2008 at 10:21 am
Mrs. S
I second verybadcat’s idea of playing other couple’s songs. My best friend did that at her wedding and it was a huge hit. Especially for people like myself who didn’t have dancing at our reception, so we had never danced to our song in public (only in the kitchen being silly)!
October 9, 2008 at 10:39 am
Beth
My girl! Perfect song to allow Dads and daughters or other non-romantic pairs to dance together.
Oh, and “Dancing Queen” is always fun!
October 9, 2008 at 10:39 am
kristin
I’m going to recommend 2 random ones that I have seen used as first dance songs at weddings: Hard to Concentrate by Red Hot Chili Peppers and Patience by GNR.
October 9, 2008 at 10:40 am
Peter DeWolf
Molly, two words: “Groove is in the Heart.”
October 9, 2008 at 10:41 am
A Super Girl
I know you said no 70s and this probably is that genre…but Earth, Wind & Fire’s “September” is a must for me. You can’t help but dance!
I’m awful with current songs but what about the new-ish American Boy song?
Michael Buble is also an excellent choice, but I’d save some of those and play during the party as well!
October 9, 2008 at 11:00 am
Jessica Lynn
omg your big day is almost here!!! yay!
October 9, 2008 at 11:20 am
JSauce
I was amazed at the power of “Pour Some Sugar on Me,” lol. It’s not one of my top songs personally, but I dedicated it to my sister in law, as it’s her favorite and was the “sister song” we danced to at her wedding. When it came on, grandma’s, cousins, little brothers, EVERYONE was up swinging around and shaking it. It was crazy!
October 9, 2008 at 11:55 am
Carmen
My do not play list included the macarena, the chicken dance, the hamster song and the locomotion – oh yeah – and YMCA. I told the DJ that if they played any of those songs I would not pay them at the end of the night. Even if I requested it… it was like a test they had to pass to get their paycheck!
October 9, 2008 at 12:10 pm
Heidi Renée
We had two rules: no jazz (because I don’t like it) and everything must be clean (we had mostly older people and a few little kids). Other than the special dances, I let our DJ gauge the crowd. Not all DJs can be trusted like that, but ours was really good and I was not disappointed with his choices.
October 9, 2008 at 12:35 pm
Rachel
nthing Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin” as a must! Also, The Beatles “Twist and Shout” is a favorite and I’ve seen lots of good reactions to it at weddings. Also, if you like to dance, “Shout” is fun as well. Lots of these are good near Sweet Caroline…you know, once people have put a dent in the alcohol supply. If you are really gonna be silly, one of my friend’s groomsmen requested Sex Bomb. It was a great group and ended up being really funny to dance to, but, like I said, it takes the right people.
I would say a few songs that should be on the “don’t you dare” list: I kissed a girl, the cha-cha slide (shoot me now), and Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On” (this was a disaster at a wedding I went to).
October 9, 2008 at 12:42 pm
KLM
OK, I’ve never commented here before, but I’m coming out of lurking just to say this:
“Come On Eileen”
It had this amazing effect at my wedding. As in, my husband and I were still in the part of the night just after dinner where we were going around talking to our older relatives and people who were likely to be taking off early, and all of a sudden THREE ENTIRE TABLES of our friends spontaneously stood up and rushed the dance floor.
Personally, I ad an iPod wedding with a bunch of indie stuff (husband and I are both former college radio DJs, so it followed …) so I’m not sure how much of what we played would be in your DJ’s catalog or how much you’d even want, but “We Didn’t Start the Fire” was the surprise dance hit of the evening, David Bowie’s “Rebel Rebel” got a bunch of my parents’ friends on the floor, and Justin Timberlake was always, always good.
October 9, 2008 at 1:08 pm
brandy
If you are having little kids at your wedding, a song like ‘the chicken dance’ is fun for them. Of course, adults don’t love this song, but kids always do. I went to a wedding in March and ‘the chicken dance’ was on the “must never play list” and there were kids CRYING. It definitely ruined a moment that could have been fun.
October 9, 2008 at 1:13 pm
JenBun
I think that picking the songs to play would be the part of a wedding I would look forward to the MOST!
Umm… that said, I can’t think of anything right now.
Jason Mraz’s “I’m Yours”? And lots of Dave Matthews!!
October 9, 2008 at 2:26 pm
jessica
‘All Night Long’ or ‘Dancing on the Ceiling’ by Lionel Richie. And nothing beats Michael Jackson when it comes to danceable music.
October 9, 2008 at 3:16 pm
kate
We’re going light on the Disco – I HATE We Are Family and YMCA and Carwash, etc. As you said – no participation songs, save for Shout! I love Shout – and the wedding pics are always hilarious of everyone getting as low as they can on “a little bit softer now.”
Lots of cheesy dance 80s – LOVE the 80s.
October 9, 2008 at 6:55 pm
Jessica
Shout! – The Isley Brothers – a la Wedding Crashers! LOVED this song at our wedding!! EVERYONE was on the dance floor.. even my husband’s decidedly non-dancing friends… Although playing it late in the evening when everyone was loopy may have contributed to it’s effect.
October 9, 2008 at 7:03 pm
Wiglet
I’m another lurker … Our playlist was the first thing I started thinking about for the wedding. Don’t ask why. I guess it’s because it’s something my fiance and I care equally about. That said, here are some of our must play songs:
- Anything by Stevie Wonder, notably “For Once In My Life” “Signed, Sealed, Delivered” and “I Believe”
- “Africa” by Toto
- “Walk Like an Egyptian” by…oh drat I can’t remember and I’m too lazy to Google it
- “What a Wonderful World” by Louis Armstrong
- “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” by … man! I can’t remember anything right now!
To name a few…
October 9, 2008 at 7:52 pm
Ivy Beth
Truly, Madly, Deeply by Savage Garden was my late husband and my song. Collide by Howie Day is my new husband and my song. I also like Iris by Goo Goo Dolls.
How about some Mighty Mighty Bosstones (Someday I Suppose) for dancing? American Girl (Tom Petty), All Star (Smashmouth), Don’t Get Me Wrong (Pretenders)?
I could think of so many songs I would love to dance at a wedding to! The weddings I have been to recently unfortunately all have THOSE dances – Electric slide, chicken dance…I almost never get that drunk
October 9, 2008 at 8:39 pm
Kari
I have to tell you that a large group of our friends loves to play “Fuck her gently” at parties. So a bunch of us (drunkenly) thought it would be a good idea to see if the DJ would play that at our friend’s wedding. And guess what? He did. So…just in case anyone drunkenly thinks it’s a good idea…you might want to put vulgar songs on the do not play list. Also with this large group of friends, we are HUGE fans of Journey’s Don’t Stop Believin’. Which is a great wedding reception song. Just a thought
October 10, 2008 at 3:54 am
Lisa-Marie
If you’re looking for fast-ish things for people to dance to, and some modernity, I don’t think you can go wrong with The Killers- “Somebody Told Me” and “Mr. Brightside” in particular. Also, its not very modern, but can i suggest The Knack’s “My Sherona”? We had it at our wedding, and everyone loved it. We also had ” I bet that you look good on the dance floor” by Arctic Monkeys. We also had lots of Green Day and The Ramones.
Breakfast at Tiffany’s I second, and its by Deep Blue Something.
October 10, 2008 at 9:01 am
Noreen
Here are some more upbeat songs:
Tenacious-D – Wonderboy
The Clash – Rock the Casbah
Celebration – Kool and the Gang
What I Like About You – Romantics
And some more romantic, slow songs:
Etta James – At Last
Billy Joel – Just The Way You Are
Good luck with your decisions. I’m engaged, but I don’t have a date set at the moment, but I can only imagine the headache we’ll have trying to pick out songs.
October 10, 2008 at 11:13 am
Princess Taj
Hmmm….. songs that are fun, danceable, and clean….that’s a tough one!
Here are a few that getting me shaking at a wedding:
Usher – Yeah
Destiny’s Child – Jelly
Sean Paul – Get Busy
Rick Springfield – Jessie’s Girl
Chris Brown – Forever
Neyo – Closer
Danity Kane – Damaged
Madonna – Ray of Light
Just a few that I can come up with
October 10, 2008 at 1:12 pm
rachellutterman
More than words- Extreme. Such a sweet song.
At last- Etta James. Classic song.
Recipe for love- Harry Conick Jr.
you and me- Lifehouse
UPside down- Jack johnson. Good upbeat song and everyone likes to dance to that. Plus! It’s differant!
October 10, 2008 at 1:17 pm
rachellutterman
In this club- Usher.
October 10, 2008 at 1:18 pm
rachellutterman
Crazy in love- Beyonce and Jay Z
Sorry, they keep popping into my head!
October 10, 2008 at 2:58 pm
Trigger
I think this would be one of my favorite parts of planning a wedding! But then, I’m a music nerd.
If you are having grandparents/parents at your wedding, I would totally suggest steering the dj like this:
1) Give the dj a genre for dinner/drinks – sounds like you’ve got this covered.
2) Then another genre/mood for the hour just after dinner – things that the older guests will like – like motown. Gotta love motown! Al Green, Marvin Gay, the Temptations, Stevie Wonder, Mary Wells, Otis Redding, the Miracles, the Supremes – you get the idea.
3) Transition from that into music you and your friends will dance to – from 80s, to 90s, to now!
Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin’” – The Pretender’s “Don’t Get Me Wrong” – Huey Lewis’ “Power of Love” – anything Prince – anything the Cure – anything New Order – the Pixie’s “Here comes your Man” – old school MJ – these are things I WILL play at my theoretical wedding.
October 10, 2008 at 10:43 pm
Lexi
How about Chicago’s “Saturday in the Park?” It’s such a fun song, I think!
October 11, 2008 at 2:46 pm
Wiglet
Another song that’s on our list: “Thriller” by Michael Jackson. There’s always SOMEBODY in the crowd who knows the dance, and the guests form a circle around him or her. So much fun!
A GREAT band that you should think about for dinner/drinks is the Ditty Bops. They’re upbeat and fun, and my grandmother loves them as much as I do!
My dear friend who just got married last month had this same dilemma, so a couple of us went over to her house, poured a couple of drinks, and went through Billboard Top Ten lists for the past few decades. There were some songs that we hadn’t thought about in years! Like “I Wish I Was A Little Bit Taller” (but that’s rap, so nevermind). Actually! Go here: http://www.billboard.com/bbcom/specials/hot100/index.shtml
Hope that helps!
Oh, another good song: “Two Princes” by Spin Doctors. I may have gotten the title wrong, but you know the song: “This one/wants to buy you flowers/just go ahead now…”
October 11, 2008 at 2:49 pm
Wiglet
And! “A Little Less Conversation” by Elvis! (Okay I’m done now)
October 12, 2008 at 12:37 pm
teality
The Blower’s Daughter. This song makes me cry.
For dancing: Twist & Shout.
October 12, 2008 at 11:35 pm
glenda
How about something from II Divo, you can listen to them on u-tube
October 14, 2008 at 11:32 am
rachel
like i’ve said before in past comments, my husband is a wedding DJ. for dinner music, he always plays the parent trap soundtrack. i was surprised at first, but it’s good for either dinner or cocktail hour music. and michael buble is a MUST. as far as dancey music during the party, my hubby the dj always plays some classic disco songs because even though it sounds a little corny, it really does get everyone moving. he tends to kind of cater to the older guests, because they are more picky about what they will dance to. also swing works well to get couples of all ages out dancing. sorry, no specific songs here because like i said – HE is the dj, not me…so i am bad at coming up with specifics