So I have this reader that makes me laugh. Her comments — all insults — are so ridiculous that I actually laugh out loud when I read them. The most recent one was great and while she seems to be running out of steam with particular things to make fun of me about (my ugly hair, lack of taste and ”cheap” shoes have appeared in her last two at least), I know she will come up with something else to throw at me.
Actually, she’s probably dancing in her seat to see me acknowledging her here.
Why? Because what I’ve found about these Internet trolls is that the more you acknowledge them, the more they thrive.
Unfortunately for her (and anyone else who feels like slinging insults my way) is that this is my blog. So if I don’t like you, I don’t have to invite you in.
It just doesn’t make sense to me. Sure, I read blogs that I don’t agree with. And if I feel passionately, I leave a well thought out comment that states as much, but politely. It would never occur to me to make fun of someone or talk smack about a stranger just because I don’t agree with what they said. And if you’re so closed minded that you can’t even read something you don’t agree with, then I think you’re too closed minded to be here anyway.
Let me be clear — if you disagree with me, I’m not going to delete your comment. Not at all. But I don’t invite jerks who call me low class and ugly into my home and I won’t invite them to leave comments here. Those comments have been, and will continue to be deleted and blocked. If you are a person who gets off on being an ass, leaving petty and rude comments, I have a suggestion for you. Get your own blog. Then open up the comments. It will be fun.
The best part about my Assface Commentor and others like her? They never use real email addresses or link to a blog. So on top of being ridiculous, they’re cowards.
Have you guys experienced this? What’s your solution? I know Dooce says she likes to print out the best of the best and drive over them with her car. I was posting the Comment of the Day so you could all read how stupid these people are, but then I have to read it again and who wants that?
I guess the solution is just keep deleting. And hoping that karma really does come around.
53 comments
Comments feed for this article
March 25, 2009 at 10:02 am
Jessica
I agree with the keep deleting method. I mean, sure, it is fun for us to read some of those crazy Comment of the Day posts because yeah, most of them are CRAZY! But – I wouldn’t miss them
March 25, 2009 at 10:11 am
girlrunningaround
I totally agree. If you don’t like what you’re reading, just.stop.reading.it. It’s that simple. It’s so petty and immature to cut someone down because you don’t agree with what they say. Thanks for acknowleding it, hopefully Assface will go away.
March 25, 2009 at 10:20 am
Mrs. Smith
Rude and snarky commenting is something that I will never understand. Why take the time to comment if you don’t want to say something nice or support the blogger?
Get rid of her!
March 25, 2009 at 10:23 am
La Petite Chic
Ugh, internet trolls suck. I had my first mean comment a few months ago and I unfortunately let it bother me way too much. I don’t know why people choose to be hateful and mean.
I agree with you though. I don’t have room for hate in my life, nor my blog, so I employ the delete method with those types of comments.
March 25, 2009 at 10:32 am
chasingparadise
I’ve never received a nasty comment to date, and I’ve been blogging for about a year and a half. I guess I’m lucky that it hasn’t happened to me, and I’m sure I’d do what you do – delete them. When you give people like that what they want, which is attention, it’s just adding fuel to the fire. Look at it this way, imagine how much hatemail Dooce receives! At least it’s not that bad!
March 25, 2009 at 10:35 am
MiMi
What an assclown. I absolutely agree. Although I haven’t had the misfortune/luxury of having said assclowns comment on my blog because the only people who read/comment on my blog would be my family(Thanks Dad!). I think you’ve handled it with class. And I just think he/she is jealous of you, Molly.
March 25, 2009 at 10:40 am
KLC
I dont allow “anonymous” comments anymore. If people have something to say to me, they ought to say it using their identity, otherwise it has no value to me. I think you should feel special for having a little inernet nagger
that means you’re practically a CELEB haha!
March 25, 2009 at 10:47 am
Laural
Delurking because I’ve been reading for awhile, but haven’t commented.
I hear you. Completely.
I had trolls awhile ago, and they will randomly comment on my blog. It’s the weirdest thing. Like, who gets up in the morning and decides to just make nasty comments for no reason.
Anyway, I love your blog!
March 25, 2009 at 10:48 am
notsojenny
i like the idea above about not allowing anonymous comments… but then those people will probably just use a faux name/email anyway. so i guess just keep deleting… either that or post their IP Address : )
March 25, 2009 at 10:52 am
Amber
Delete and ban, every time. If it’s really outlandish, I will sometimes publish and ridicule, although I know that’s not a great solution – what can I say, I’m only human and sometimes I want to hit back. What I’ve found, though, is that totally ignoring them is the thing that tends to work best, so it’s what I try to do, even although it’s sometimes hard work. (Like the person today who told me she hopes someone bombs my house because – gasp! – I dared to say I don’t like harem pants. Or the woman who said I should be shot in the head because I liked a certain hat.)
I have quite strict comment policies in place on all of my blogs, and my rule of thumb is exactly what you’ve said here – if I wouldn’t allow people to say it to me in real life, I won’t let them say it to me on my blog, either. I hate this idea that goes around that by blogging we’re effectively inviting this kind of hate, and that if we “put it out there” we have to expect people to be hateful towards us, and just put up with it. Such a strange idea, and as you say, if someone in real life repeatedly told us we were ugly and deserved to die, no one would blame us for refusing to interact with that person ever again. As far as I’m concerned, the internet is no different.
Wow, sorry, didn’t mean to write such a long comment, but this subject was on my mind today because I’ve had some nasty comments myself recently!
March 25, 2009 at 10:55 am
Amber
I like your style. I mean, addressing it publicly. Of course, I like your ‘style’ as well, or I wouldn’t read your blog.
I don’t like mean people. I don’t know what I would do if this happened to me. I would probably write a post about it…just like you did.
March 25, 2009 at 11:03 am
Christina
You are so on the ball. commentors have the right to leave their opnions but it is another thing when they are rude and obnoxious. I am glad that you put it out there so that those types of ass holes know who they are messing with!
March 25, 2009 at 11:31 am
Shelley
I just don’t understand the people who feel the need to be petty and rude. If they don’t like your blog for whatever reason… they should just stop reading it. Simple solution, right? Your troll commenter needs to go back to high school because that’s where she’ll fit in better… with all the pettiness and cruelty that most of us have grown out of and left behind.
March 25, 2009 at 11:35 am
DevilsHeaven
There was pretty much a comment war on my blog. I don’t like to relive it, but it gave me great satisfaction to take the comment and pull it apart piece by piece, as a post. It gave me something to write about at least. And I totally agree, they are cowards if they don’t put themselves out there to be judged on snippets of their lives.
It amazes me how just one comment out of several always makes us feel like crap. And we dwell on it and let it eat us up inside.
Stupid human psyche.
March 25, 2009 at 11:35 am
Lexi
I haven’t received an anonymous/mean comment at all yet…I’d kind of like to though, because everyone talks about the ones they get, so I may like the experience too, hehe
March 25, 2009 at 11:40 am
Patience Krueger
I love your blog and I look forward to reading it each and every day!! I don’t have a blog of my own out of sheer laziness, but I cannot imagine commenting on someone elses blog and being out right rude. Clearly this person needs to get a life!!
March 25, 2009 at 11:55 am
brookem
i just dont get why people waste their time and energy on leaving shit comments if they don’t like the blog to begin with. like you said, it’s one thing to disagree and do so politely. but to just crap on someone else, just because? what’s the point, truly?
March 25, 2009 at 11:57 am
mysterygirl!
That’s why this should be invented for every site:
http://xkcd.com/481/
March 25, 2009 at 12:02 pm
Colleen
Ugh, I HATE people like that! So what if she doesn’t like you? Then she shouldn’t spend her time reading your blog anyway! Typical mean girl, just trying to cut someone else down for their own enjoyment and their lack of self-esteem (although none of them would ever admit that). I haven’t had that experience yet, thankfully, but I wouldn’t post any comment that was downright mean.
March 25, 2009 at 12:35 pm
Marissa
People can be so lame! Delete away!
March 25, 2009 at 1:06 pm
The Martini Queen
Dude. I hate when people do that shit. I have two blogs, one of which is private but that I frequently comment under because it is via Blogspot. That being said, it lists my email address and I openly invite people to my private blog. I think anonymous commenting is the epitome of cowardice. I think these looney tunes know that their contribution is petty and therefore they don’t bother to leave their names. I think, if you want to speak your piece on someone else’s corner of the WWW, then have the stones to reveal yourself.
March 25, 2009 at 1:09 pm
your mom
my experience with internet trolls came from having membership in a discussion board. i was amazed how persistant and creepy these people are….and what an interesting phenomenon it is, the sick need for people to spew venom anonymously.
first off, you should not assume your person is necessarily a woman – although if she is, she’s a jealous one. your miserable little poster could very well be some twisted, hairy old man who is a recluse living in a rusty trailer in podunk USA, or some pimply-faced adolescent boy sitting in the dark. and if it is some jealous little twit then deep inside she is probably a twisted, hairy old man ….possibly sitting in the dark with pimples.
people who have the need to attack strangers with venom:
1. have no life
2. don’t like themselves
3. should be discussing their anger issues in therapy, or
4. probaby need a medication adjustment
that’s my take on it. have compassion for the loser…then hit DELETE.
March 25, 2009 at 1:10 pm
Amber
I don’t understand people like that. Seriously, they need to get a life. ASAP!
Your blog is great, it’s one that I jump to read when I see a new one in Google Reader! Keep up the great posts, they always make me smile!
March 25, 2009 at 1:54 pm
Melissa
Your mom is great! And I agree with her comment.
March 25, 2009 at 1:55 pm
Autumn
I have been reading your blog for quite some time now. I have never ever come to the conclusion that you are any of those things.
please tell me, would you think that this person would EVER in a million years walk up to a complete stranger and say, “you’re ugly, have bad taste in shoes, blah flucking blah?” probably not.
my personal theory is that she is uncomfortable in her own skin, but she will be the first to come across like she rules the world.
i think its amazing that you outted her, she may get her kicks, but as she matures (if its possible) she will see that you blogging about her isn’t a good thing.
continue blogging about what you do Molly, your loyal readers (the ones that are here for the right purposes) truely enjoy it.
… and tell bitch to get a life. as in her OWN.
March 25, 2009 at 2:04 pm
Nic
Ignore, ignore, ignore.
March 25, 2009 at 2:20 pm
Daily Editor
That’s so annoying! Anyone who feels the need to put you down via a blog comment clearly has issues. There’s a way to intelligently respond to posts you disagree with, and then there’s just immature name-calling. You have plenty of class and taste—don’t let some troll tell you otherwise!
March 25, 2009 at 2:34 pm
Michelle & the City
i hate blog trolls like her. unfortunately there’s nothing you can do but keep deleting. however, i bet eventually she’ll run out of steam and stop commenting. i mean it has to get old at some point, right?!
March 25, 2009 at 3:19 pm
MK
I always thought that if you didn’t have something nice to say, you shouldn’t say it at all. And, well, if you’re going to say it, then at least have the decency to be polite and respectful. However, as I’ve been in the blogging and forum worlds, I’ve realized that not all people abide by this. Recently I had online people post a link to my blog to blast a topic I chose to write about as well as lambast me as well. The ironic thing is that with that particular blog entry, there were no names named, no specific website listed or details. In fact, it was quite vague. And just my thoughts (as what I thought a blog is). After one incredibly nasty and dishonest comment had been written, I ended up adding comment moderation to my blog so that those who will choose to be rude and disrespectful couldn’t freely leave a comment. I realize that comment moderation can be a pain in the arse, however a person’s blog is not a free-for-all, either. So, in addition to ignoring rude comments and readers of my blog, I have the comment moderation now set.
I have been reading your blog for a little over six months now and have found it nothing short of enjoyable. So, keep on and ignore.
)
March 25, 2009 at 3:25 pm
Julia
ugh, people like that are such a waste of time! i say keep on deleting, Assface probably won’t get the hint and go away, but at least the negativity won’t be on your blog any longer. At least you can rise above it and {I hope} laugh at how pathetic he/she is!
my guess is that Assface is just jealous because although they won’t link to it, he/she actually does have a blog, but doesn’t have a high readership or something lame so wants to pull you and your awesome super-popular blog down!
March 25, 2009 at 3:26 pm
Julia
p.s. your mum is cool
March 25, 2009 at 3:47 pm
One Step at a Time
How annoying! I don’t understand why people leave hateful comments. What’s the point? If they are so disturbed by what you have to say then why do they waste their time reading and commenting. Just doens’t make any sense!
I think you’re lovely!
March 25, 2009 at 3:49 pm
Lisa
What is wrong w/ people? I can’t imagine leaving a rude comment on someone’s blog. What a pathetic person she/he must be! And how ‘bold’ of that person to do it anonymously. Coward.
Yep, delete and move on. You’ve got plenty of fans out here who think you are downright fabulous!!
March 25, 2009 at 3:52 pm
Christy
I don’t get many Assface comments, but whenever I do, I just delete them. Though I like the idea of running over them with my car (if I had a car).
March 25, 2009 at 4:18 pm
Lisa
Hi. Me again. I just saw a quote on “Creature Comfort” (http://creaturecomforts.typepad.com) that really applies to this situation:
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”
-By the lovely & wise Dr. Seuss!
March 25, 2009 at 4:41 pm
kirbyrice
i feel your pain. I had a lady leave me the most horrible comment yesterday because I blogged about a job offer I turned down because I was afraid to take a job based purely on commission when I’m barely surviving on the unemployment I’m drawing.
Stupid people. No tact. But I adore your blog
March 25, 2009 at 5:20 pm
Ashley
Ugh Internet trolls.
I had my first one but I had all his info since he used his real email address (I guess its a little less cowardly) except that he was sending me all this sexism, i hate all females bullshit and was downright mean! He got in a litle email battle with me. Luckily he disappeared because maybe he realized I was smart enough to realize I could probably report him for abuse.
People really need to learn manners. Sorry you have to deal with this but deleting is the sweetest revenge.
March 25, 2009 at 5:32 pm
UnhandledException()
I dont know how anyone could have anything mean to say about your blog, Molly. You always say the sweetest things!
haha
But the question is, did the rude person comment on this post?
March 25, 2009 at 5:49 pm
ohitislove
ew. seriously? if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all. a rule that children and ADULTS alike should be able to follow.
and i personally think your blog rules. i always look forward to reading it!
March 25, 2009 at 5:49 pm
Jackie
Poor commenter. She (or he?) probably has nothing better to do with their time….and that makes me feel bad for them. What a sad life!
I would just ignore it and not give them the glory of seeing you pissed/upset. After deleting, of course
March 25, 2009 at 6:15 pm
Erin [aka E.Wiggle™]
Honestly, people like that are stupid. There’s really no other word to describe them. I don’t know about you, but I have better things to do with my time than banter on in someone’s comments about petty things. I barely have time to write a well written polite comment, much less scribble out some useless bullshit. (Excuse my French.)
I don’t get it. Thankfully, I haven’t had to encounter it yet. Then again, you should be flattered: you have a big enough following where you get both polite and negative comments.
Punch them in the baby maker. That’ll shut them up.
(Kidding of course.)
March 25, 2009 at 8:42 pm
Kate
She keeps coming back for more right? That speaks volumes about what kind of influence you have on her life. Don’t let her influence yours. We all love this blog. I read it everyday and show my friends. It keeps us laughing and reminds us what really matters in life–happiness.
So thank you!
March 25, 2009 at 10:45 pm
KT
I have yet to receive a mean comment on my blog, but I have only been at this for less than a year and I don’t have quite as many readers as you. If I ever get a mean comment, I will probably delete just as you do. Why let it ruin your day by leaving it up there?
March 26, 2009 at 2:37 am
andhari
I experience this a lot, girlie. People throw hate comments blatantly in anonymous form, of course. I just delete them. I think they’re losers, they shouldnt be hanging around your blog if they hate you so much right? And it’s sad especially if they dont even know you in persom. People are pathetic that way.
Keep your chin up, because you’re fabulous:)
March 26, 2009 at 11:28 am
Blondie
I HATE that. Im mad someone did that to you. But I had it happen to me YESTERDAY and at first I was hurt and yes, I deleted it. Yes, it was anonymous. But the more I thought about it I was flattered that this person even went to my site in the first place. Why was she there? Was she secretly enjoying my site? Did she leave a nasty comment because she was upset she didnt have a blog or was she jealous in some way? Im trying to keep my head up about it – but its nasty and rude. And it doesnt need to have a place in my blog or yours! DELETE DELETE DELETE…
March 26, 2009 at 7:34 pm
Megan
He or she is just jealous of you, Molly! You are gorgeous and a talented and intelligent writer…who wouldn’t be!? Don’t let it break your stride. You know who are, with or without the annoying commenter. And look at how many people are on your side.
March 27, 2009 at 9:18 am
Sass
Blech. I’m sorry you have to deal with this but I think you’re going about it the right way. Keep on.
March 27, 2009 at 2:08 pm
JenBun
I am lucky enough that, in the year-plus that I’ve been blogging, I’ve NEVER had a negative comment! In fact, I’ve only ever deleted one comment, and that was obviously spam and was just spewing racial slurs.
I have, however, had some unwelcome messages sent my way on Myspace (of all stupid places). I just delete them, much like you’re doing with the crap you get on here. You don’t need that, so why keep it around?
Also, just to counter-balance, *I* (and A LOT of other people) think you are simply amazing, my dear!
xoxox!
March 28, 2009 at 11:15 am
Jules
At first, I wasn’t going to comment, as my thoughts contradicted what previous commentators suggested. But then I happened upon this great quotation that said just what I had thought about saying, only far more eloquently:
“I have always been among those who believed that the greatest freedom of speech was the greatest safety, because if a man is a fool, the best thing to do is to encourage him to advertise the fact by speaking.” –Woodrow Wilson
So, something to consider
March 29, 2009 at 6:25 am
Kez
I’ve been pretty lucky with my blog so far (touch wood), but I know that if I was to get a comment that was abusive just for the hell of it I would delete it and not even mention it.
It would probably make me feel like crap for about two seconds (I have insecurities), but after that I’d feel satisfied that someone out there is a jerk.
I think there’s a difference between commenting politely on something you don’t agree with (different points of view are cool) and just abusing and being immature.
March 31, 2009 at 7:37 am
La Petite Belle
think about it, though. They spend their time on your blog. Insulting you. They are obviously losers.
April 7, 2009 at 7:54 pm
Kat @ The Burb Blog
Come on, hatred towards a blogger is so satisfying! Continue to laugh out loud and share some of the best ones with those of us who LOVE your “cheap” shoes and “ugly” hair.
By the way, I LOVE your wedding rings!
June 10, 2009 at 9:08 am
I shouldn’t even have to address this again « These Little Moments
[...] comments, jerks Back in March I wrote a post about comments and this blog. You can read it here. In short, there is one woman who likes to anonymously harass me with stupid comments. She tries to [...]