Awhile back, armed with my friend who is also a new mom, I ventured into Babies ‘stupid backwards letter’ Us to create my registry. I wasn’t looking forward to the experience at all. Not even a little. Unlike registering for my wedding, which seemed exciting and fun (“Oooh I like this color Kitchenaid mixer! And these sheets! And blah, blah, blah”"), the task of registering for a wee little baby seemed nothing but daunting because it was more Need instead of Want this time around.
I knew the basic needs, but what about all the other crap. Did I need, for example, a swing AND a bouncy seat? The answer is probably no. But what about the advice of all those moms warning that their baby loved the swing but hated the bouncy (or vice versa), and so it was good to have both on hand for trial and error. After all, they said, you can always return one. Just save the box.
Sure, our parents probably didn’t have all this stuff when they were raising us, and we turned out just fine, but if these products are available now and make life a little easier, maybe it’s worth it?
I registered for both. And the car seat, the stroller, the bassinet, the Baby Bjorn, and a handful of other foreign objects that I have never once used, but will probably become well-versed in soon. And then I went home and looked at it all online, reading customer reviews and adding or removing things I previously registered for based on what people had to say.
The registry still stresses me out. Mostly because I picture our already small house swimming in a sea of “essential” baby items and getting smaller every day. Tonight, Michael and I purchased our crib — something I consider to be an actual essential — and while we were there, I showed him some of the stuff I registered for. I know he would have been pulling his hair out had he come along for the actual registering, but he was really great tonight offering opinions and helping me sort through some of the items that have been nagging at me for a while. The “we don’t really need this” items. And after the removal of some things (the Pack and Play, specifically. A monstrosity that is big enough for Kodiak to sleep in.), and the discovery of a new bassinet that I feel good about, I left the store feeling a little less stressed.
I realized that we don’t need all the Stuff. We’ll still have a lot of it when all is said and done, but at least it’s more streamlined than it was. And in the end, as long as he’s fed, clothed, has a place to sleep and is in clean diapers, our little boy is going to be just fine.
More than fine.
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March 29, 2010 at 11:16 pm
Nicki
Babies certainly need some stuff, but not everything! I can’t imagine how overwhelming picking the right stuff would be! Way to narrow down the list! Your post made me think of this post: http://offbeatmama.com/2010/01/baby-bathtub on one of my most favorite mama blogs!
March 30, 2010 at 7:37 am
Kitty
I feel you…registering for a baby was completely overwhelming.
And I’m guessing that you are sick and tired of advice, but…someday you will probably love having a Pack N Play! Or at least, we do for travel. When my son was little we used a bassinet, and now he sleeps in a crib. But when we are out of town or over late at a friend’s house, he goes to sleep in the Pack N Play and we love it. So, maybe keep it in mind as a possibility?
We nixed the swing because I had heard so many stories about babies who “only fall asleep in the swing,” and my gut told me that it was a one-way ticket to sleep training problems. Of course it’s possible that I just lucked out with a good sleeper, but I think it was important that from day one my son learned to sleep on his back, lying still, not swinging back and forth. It saved us a lot of tears and frustration down the road.
March 30, 2010 at 8:09 am
Stacey
As far as the small house thing, I was right there too when I had Luke so that was tough. We were given so much stuff and this post reminded me how lucky we were! Initially I did not have a bouncy and I ended up getting one because that’s where he went when I needed to shower and he could be strapped in. And the swing went to storage fast.
But as far as space saving, I would recommend getting a high chair that straps to a kitchen chair. We didn’t and even in this bigger house it’s still sort of a pain and sometimes it’s like he’s not really at the table and I feel bad! He’s *this* close to just being able to sit at the table so we are thinking about getting him a booster that might strap to the chair.
Anyway, you will figure it out as you go for sure!
March 30, 2010 at 8:20 am
gibsondog
You are right, some of these products really depend on the baby. My daughter was not comfortable in the bouncer seat, but she loved the swing. I didn’t keep the receipts, so I felt bad about that.
Can I share what I used most often the first couple of months?
1. bassinet
2. swaddling blanket
3. pacifier
4. Gripe Water (natural gas relief remedy)
5. swing
6. sleep positioner (gave my peace of mind while she slept)
7. Boppy pillow
March 30, 2010 at 8:30 am
Melinda
Registering for a baby is pretty much a nightmare. Some of the stuff you think you need you will never use, and other things you think are useless you end up really wishing that you had later. Oh the positive side you can always buy things you are missing and return stuff that isn’t working. So don’t fret to much about it. In the end all baby will need is you!
March 30, 2010 at 8:39 am
Kate
I don’t have a baby myself, but what I’ve learned from watching all of my friends go through the experience is that people will buy you stuff all the time. It’s always good to get the essentials first, but all the things that you categorize as extra, not-really-necessary stuff? You can probably pass on it because someone will probably give you something similar in the not-so-distant future. But if you’re short on space, let people know you don’t have tons of room for lots of extra toys. Friends of ours did that, and so any time they received gifts, it was in the form of clothes or books (necessary and educational!).
Anyway, I’m sure you’ll figure it out! Have fun getting ready for baby!!
March 30, 2010 at 11:09 am
Life of a Doctor's Wife
Am not a parents, so obvs can’t offer any actual advice.
But I am sure you and your husband will do the absolute right thing by your baby.
March 30, 2010 at 11:20 am
Rachel
I have to say our almost 4 month old loves her swing for little naps. Though her long nap, and her night-time sleeping occur in the crib (swaddled). She spent 3 months in a bassinet…
I have to suggest something that our cousin told us to register for. I have had much more use for this than a bouncy (am going to give the bouncy away). It’s a vibrating papasan seat! We can put it on the bed, and put the baby in the papasan, turn on the vibrating and music, and she is happy as a clam while we take care of stuff nearby! I really couldn’t live without it. The other thing I suggest is ditching the Bjorn. Studies have shown spine problems with that type of carrier. We have the ergo, but if you are coordinated enough to figure it out, I hear amazing things about the Moby wrap or other wrap-style carriers like that.
March 30, 2010 at 1:15 pm
KR
I felt the SAME way with all the stuff (I’m due the beginning of May)!
This book is awesome: Baby Bargains. It kind of gives you a run down of needs vs. wants. I didn’t pay attention to all of it, but really thought it was helpful and would totally recommend it.
March 30, 2010 at 3:13 pm
DevilsHeaven
My oldest sister, who was born in Germany, slept in a DRAWER for the first weeks, maybe just day, of her life. And now she is an Engineer. So yeah, your kid will be fine.
March 30, 2010 at 4:50 pm
Andrea
You will be blown away at the amount of stuff you will amass over the coming months between baby showers, gifts from friends, hand-me-downs, ect. I was of the same mindset as you with my first…no need to go overboard. We ended up exchanging a few things but you can always go out and buy something if you feel like you need it. That said, a few things I found invaluable were: 1. ergo carrier (LOVE THIS — perfect with the infant insert and I’m still using it on my back with my 28 pound toddler) 2. swaddling blankets 3. mobile (weird I know, but especially if it plays music will buy you a shower on a semi-consistent basis) 4. jogging stroller (fresh air does everyone good) 5. boppy pillow.
March 30, 2010 at 6:46 pm
Audrey
I agree – ditch the Bjorn, buy the Ergo – so much more worth it!! We didn’t have a swing for our first one, but we’d be lost without it for our second. Swaddle wraps are my “must have” and what I give as baby gifts. And you’re right – no need for all the stuff in a small house. We have two kids (3 years and 5 months) and we’re bursting at the seems. We recently took down the crib in the shared kids’ room since our wee one (Molly, ironically) is still in the Arms Reach co-sleeper in our room (and probably will be until we get a bigger house). Have fun!!
March 30, 2010 at 10:59 pm
lora
oooh, don’t give up on the pack n’ play yet! it’s great for traveling and overnights at grandma’s! it’s big and bulky when it’s opened up but when not in use, it folds up quite small! also, there will be times where you just need to grab a bite or throw in a load of laundry…you can have him in the pack n’ play in plain sight but know that he is safe.
March 31, 2010 at 7:26 am
Stephanie
Wow this is a very informational post! LOL. My husband just got a new job so our baby planning has just taken a HUGE leap forward….thanks for posting this, I know that I am no where near that stage yet, but hopefully very soon, and will definately take into account your advice and the advice your readers give you on all this baby stuff!
PS…..Cant wait for Belly Friday!, MB isnt the only one who keeps an eye out for that day!
I love pregnant bellies, they are so stinking cute! LOL.
March 31, 2010 at 11:33 am
Sass
I’m right there with you on the small house. We don’t like a whole lot of “stuff” so we just get what we think are the necessities. I will say that the pack n’ play is perfect for when we travel but if you have something that will work for that then you’re fine.
The good thing is that most baby stuff these days folds up pretty well.
Advice on what you need and what you don’t is all so personal…every parent is different and every baby is different. You’ll figure out what works for you!
March 31, 2010 at 10:48 pm
Amber
Like “Sass” said above, advice on what you need and what you don’t is all so personal! We never used a bassinet so we did not buy one. Our daughter went in the crib from day one. The pack n play might come in handy if grandparents are going to babysit overnight.