My 10-year high school reunion is coming up. TEN YEARS. This makes me feel really old. A Facebook group has been created and the day after Thanksgiving, I’ll find myself surrounded by the same people who saw me through my spaghetti-strap tank top phase (it lasted a few years), homecoming dances, awful physics classes, soccer games, house parties…you name it.
I was friends with lots of different people from different groups in high school. I had my core group, but seemed to mesh well with whoever. Over time though, I really only stayed close with one person from high school. Close in the sense that we talk on the phone, she was in my wedding, etc. The rest of those people? We’re friends. On Facebook.
What is a high school reunion like in the age of Facebook? On one hand, we already know pretty much what everyone is doing. Where they live, if they got married, had kids, traveled. We “stalk” each other daily through status updates and photo albums. We even talk to each other, even if we didn’t really talk while in school.
Because of Facebook, I’ve actually become really friendly with a group of women who while we talked occasionally in school or ended up at the same events, I wouldn’t have considered them part of my circle. Now, we’re all new moms and have been emailing, commenting on photos and even planned a get together. I’m really excited to see these girls.
On the other hand, when we walk into that room, is it going to be weird? Awesome? Somewhere in between? My graduating class had over 500 people in it. I remember sitting at graduation and hearing names I had never heard before in the past four years. Will this event be the same?
I wonder if people have changed. If the people you avoided for whatever reason have grown up, grown out of it. And am I still the person they thought I was…whatever that is? Will the boys I once flirted with be there? The girls I once rolled my eyes at? Will my high school boyfriend be there and will I introduce him to my husband? Will that be totally awkward, or surprisingly normal?
Reunions are weird. High school seems so long ago; a time you look back on, but have moved away from. I’m curious if putting all these people back in a room together will transport us back, or form into something new.
I’m both excited and apprehensive to attend. And obviously need to find something fabulous to wear, even though it will most likely be shrouded by same lame “My name is…” sticker sporting my maiden name.
Did you/are you attending your high school reunion?
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June 8, 2011 at 10:25 am
missmitten
We didn’t have a high school reunion. But, our graduating class was less than 200 people. And if you go to the corner bar on a Friday, you’re likely to run into at least 50 of those people. For me, I think it’d be a little weird since my husband’s ex of six years is in my graduating class, but other than that I don’t think it would be too horribly awkward. We were always a pretty close class because of our size, and I’m still close to at least 15 people from school.
June 8, 2011 at 11:13 am
Veronica
I attened mine, it was fun! But I had a small class – only about 120 of us and we all knew each other then and most of us have kept in contact over the years. Of course the girls I couldn’t stand in high school were still EXACTLY the same – so superficial! I just said hello and moved on. I was like you – kind of floated between the different groups of people in high school – I could hang with the nerds/jocks/etc and at the reunion I was able to float around and talk with everyone. and then the kid who was Mr. social in high school still is and has a nice home in our home town and he invited everyone there after the offical party and we continued the festivities there!
I think you will have a great time!
June 8, 2011 at 11:40 am
jnyfritz
i did not travel back to the midwest for my reunion, i hardly talk to anyone now, even on facebook, yes we are friends, but our reunion was just at a bar, and you had to pay for your self, and it was like an hour, maybe my 20th?
June 8, 2011 at 11:46 am
Jesica
I went to mine 2 years ago and it was NOT worth it. The only people I liked in high school didn’t show and I ended up making small chat with a bunch of people I didn’t like back then and really ended up continuing to not like now. I DID introduce my husband (fiance at the time) to my 2 ex boyfriends from high school which was WEIRD, but nothing earth shattering
I will not be attending my 20th!
June 8, 2011 at 11:52 am
menderz
I didn’t attend mine. I had no desire to. Then I found out later from a friend that went that it was just like high school with the mean girls snarking. I was glad I’d saved my $200.
June 8, 2011 at 11:55 am
Mel@MySunshine
My husband’s 10 year is this Saturday but he doesn’t want to go! We went to the same high school and I think it would be fun to go. Even though, yes, we do see them on facebook but in real life….that would be weird but fun at the same time. I have a feeling it will be clique-y and isolating just like high school. My husband only kept in touch with a few friends that he sees on a normal basis so I don’t think he’ll get much out of it. Mine is next year and I plan to attend!
June 8, 2011 at 11:58 am
Amy Lawson
My 10 year reunion was one of the best experiences of my life. Like you, I only kept in ‘real’ touch with one person. I had lost a late term pregnancy two months earlier, and couldn’t pull myself together at all. My reunion was the first time I smiled and laughed in eight weeks. I didn’t talk to anyone about the baby, even though a lot of them knew from facebook, my blog, and word of mouth. No one asked, either. We just laughed all night. Truly, one of the most healing experiences of my life. I couldn’t stop singing the country song “These are my people, this is where I come from,” for weeks. Still, one of the biggest, timeliest blessings I’ve ever been given. Thinking about it is making me cry.
June 8, 2011 at 12:05 pm
heidikins
My 10-year is this summer and I’m half-dreading it and half-looking forward to it. Sigh.
xox
June 8, 2011 at 12:25 pm
trininista
Go and you will have an amazing time. We did ours via Facebook as well and it was great fun for everyone to catch up and get excited. We have the same titles for our reunion posts: http://trininista.blogspot.com/2010/07/reunitedand-it-felt-so-good.html
June 8, 2011 at 12:52 pm
nwgirl
I chose not to go to mine simply because it was held over 4th of July weekend and I had other plans. Part of me wishes I had gone. However, I wasn’t that sad about it at the time. It turned out that ours was poorly planned and the people who were supposed to be running the show just got drunk and it was kind of a disaster! My friends that did go were a little let down, I think. I do hope you have a GREAT time at yours!
June 8, 2011 at 12:53 pm
Caitlin
Hike Skool reunions in the age of FB, aiieee! I wasn’t planning on attending mine for many of the reasons you talk about here: I got along okay, but High School wasn’t really my jam, and I haven’t kept in touch with many people from my class, except on FB. And since I see them on FB, I don’t feel the need to get together in person. I thought maybe in 20 years. But then in a stunning example of how some things never change, it ended up getting canceled due to lack of interest. My graduating class was kind of the worst for spirit! I still think if there’s a 20 year reunion I may go. Many other classmates echoed this as well.
June 8, 2011 at 12:58 pm
AmyC83
I wrote a very similar post about this same topic earlier this year…
I don’t think I’m going to mine. The more people post on our facebook group, the more I realize I don’t really remember many people I went to high school with. I already know what everyone is doing now because I read about it on facebook, so what will we talk about?
However, I have had a couple of dreams about it and it was really fun (in my dreams), so maybe I’ll change my min and end up going… not sure…
June 8, 2011 at 1:27 pm
prettylittlereckless
I have my 10 year coming up in 2 years and as of right now- I don’t plan on going. There’s just no desire to see those people? The only way I would go is if my good friend Amy went. At the moment I could go back home to the bars and run into the same people. For my school, I don’t think reunions are all that popular.
June 8, 2011 at 1:28 pm
themisadventuresofk
I went to my HS reunion a few years (I don’t think I was actually on facebook at the time) – it was an interesting time. I am only close with 2 of my high school friends, but friendly with the others that were once part of my group. Our high school was small (140) and not overly cliquey. At the first part of the reception – the dinner part – everyone was really friendly, mingled and talked with one another. But once we moved on to a neighborhood bar, old groups formed again and people just talked with those they had been close with in high school. It was kind of funny.
I think reuinions in the time of facebook means there is less of the “what have to been up to for the past 10 years” chat and more interesting conversations.
June 8, 2011 at 2:10 pm
Cara
My reunion was two years ago and although for each year leading up to it, I swore I would attend, the cost was ridiculously high ($80) for two drinks and appetizers at a really cheesy bar. It was being co-hosted by a reunion company, whereas other classes hosted their respective reunions on their own for much lower costs (and at better venues). On top of that, I’ve been “friends” with members of my class on FB as well, and didn’t feel the need to socialize with the cool kids. After the reunion, there were a lot of pictures posted on the FB group page and it was pretty much what I imagined: small turnout, nobody I felt the need to make small talk with, and lots of compromising photos.
June 8, 2011 at 3:14 pm
mb
I’m with ya on the feeling old thing. Mine is this summer and no, I’m not making it. (Coincidentally, I’ll be back in Missouri the weekend before it… but even if I was there for it, I doubt I’d go.) I just don’t have any desire to see people I knew 10 years ago. I keep in touch with the people I care about and am ‘friends’ with a bunch of random people from high school with on facebook and that’s plenty for me. Funny story though – a girl I ran around with in hs started a facebook message thread with a bunch of people to see who all was planning to go and one girl wrote (and I copy/paste):
Count me out! Def not going…i hated high school! Hope everyone is doing wonderful!
Haha!! Geesh.
June 8, 2011 at 3:31 pm
maranda
My 10 year is just 4 years away (gosh where did the time go?). My girlfriends and I are planning on going just out of curiosity. I, like you was a floater. I didnt really have one clique which made it nice for me. I got along with everyone. It will just interesting to see how people have changed over the past 10 years.
June 8, 2011 at 4:13 pm
Colleen C
Mine is this coming Thanksgiving as well … and I am right on board with you. Everyone stalks everyone via facebook, I know who is married, who has kids, who has a new job. It’s not as much fun as I’m sure it used to be, but at the same time, nothing is better then taking some time to relive your younger years. My husband’s was last year and we weren’t able to go – but his friends that we are still close with went and had a blast. They mostly kept to themselves (the way they did in HS) but were able to reminisce … and make fun of – everyone there.
I say go for it. Not sure what I will do since I will have a 3 month old at the time – but we’ll see!
June 8, 2011 at 4:15 pm
Valerie
I’m trying to plan my 10 year now, created the Facebook page and everything. Funny thing is, I wasn’t the class president. I wasn’t even a class officer!
I’m excited but at the same time I have reservations because what will everyone think of me?? I realize it’s a stupid thought but it’s the same one I had in High School.
And more importantly, OUR 10 year anniversary is almost upon us!
June 9, 2011 at 11:55 am
Veronica
You are to worried about what other people think of you, stop it!
You are a beautiful, smart, sassy, employed, living on your own, fabulous WOMAN!!!! I love you and I want you to love yourself more than you do!!
You will enjoy yourself at your reunion because you are those things and if other people have the nerve to say anything different then they are not worth your time or energy to try to convince them otherwise. That is the key – they are not worth it!!!
Love you! <3 your big sister
June 8, 2011 at 8:35 pm
lpod
Well, now I feel old! My 10 year was 6 years ago. I’m now closer to my 20 year than my 10. And my first baby is younger than yours! Heh. Le sigh.
Anyhow, I did go to mine. The party itself was a total scam (our class representatives paid a company to organize it). They failed to get in touch with even a small percentage of the class of 600, charged $95 per person with a no-host bar and bad appetizers in a strange room with piped in music. I think about 30 people showed up with significant others. After the reunion, we all headed to a bar where we were able to see a few more folks (no one wanted to pay $95pp). Here’s hoping our 20 year will be grand!
All that said, I’m still very close to my 8 girls. We’ve known each other since pre-school at 3 years old and have all stood in one another’s weddings and been there for the birth of babies. They’re my real reunion.
June 9, 2011 at 4:40 am
mel
My 10 year is next month and same here I was a floater. My high school sweetheart graduated the year before me so at least I won’t be having that awkward conversation. I can count the friends I am close with from high school on one hand that I was friends with since I was 8 or 11 and I am still friends with now outside of FB.
I still live close to my hometown (I live in SoCal) and when I come into the area I run into people all the time I grew up with. We had a graduating class of almost 1000 but it’s funny I can say I knew at least half of the people if not more.
I’ve seen the guest list for those who have rsvp’d and I still haven’t decided if I am going or not.
June 9, 2011 at 7:37 am
zoey
The only people I even remotely care to see or know about high school, I am still iln touch with or found on Facebook, and there are only two or three.
Although many people look back on their high school years as idyllic, with fond, fun memories or with great nostalgia, my high school social scene took cliques to the max and was incredibly cruel. All I wanted to do was get out of it and I did that as often as I could.
What I heard from others who attended the first and the second, was that the popular, bitchy girls showed up looking thin, tanned and sexy – and still acting like queen bees. Supposedly there were a few surprises, as in unpopular or overweight girl returns looking incredibly gorgeous, slim and hot. Nobody had any gray hair (all dyed) or wore glasses (all contact lenses). The guys looked older and/or fatter for the most part, because of course, they really don’t care or stress over stuff like that.
While I would not have minded being a fly on that wall, overall I am glad to remain on the “What every happened to?” missing list.
June 9, 2011 at 2:03 pm
Inga
I know what you mean! I’m trying to decide whether to go or not. Normally I don’t head that way until Christmas, so I’m not sure I’ll even be up there. I still have a chunk of people I was friends with in HS that I still hang out with, but I doubt they’d even go to the reunion. Decisions, decisions!
June 9, 2011 at 3:01 pm
Rose
I went to my reunion and it was really a huge disappointment. It felt exactly like high school, same group of people talked to only each other and boring as hell. I don’t keep in touch with anyone (not even on FB) and don’t really see the point of “pretending” to like them in person. I think how good of a time you’re going to have is directly related to how much fun high school was for you. My 20 year is coming up in 3 years and there’s no way I am going to waste my time and money on it.
June 20, 2011 at 3:31 pm
Rachel
My 10-year was just this last summer, and it was definitely interesting. People say that the reunion is worthless in the age of Facebook, but remember that most of your FB ‘friends’ are putting their best face (picture) forward on their profiles. Attending the reunion means you get to see a little more than just what’s limited to the FB page. My reunion resulted in one of the popular girls getting drunk and dirty dancing in just her bra. Definitely not something I’ll ever get to see on FB, but it’s one hell of a great replacement for the high school memories.