31 and a half weeks.
Two months from today is my is due date. I think I’m in denial about it. I’m not really stressed; as a matter of fact if he came a little early, I’d be totally ok with that. It’s not like last time where there were so many questions that come from going through birth the first time. I basically know what to expect, assuming it goes as “planned”.
Where I find myself denying the fact that another human will be coming out of me in just 8ish weeks has to do with Owen. I wrote about it last week, how I was starting to get emotional about the time left with just him. If anything, that feeling is getting stronger, and maybe that’s part of the reason I haven’t finalized a paint color for his big boy room, or seriously moved forward with getting him out of the crib. Because he’s still the baby. My baby.
Our Eight Weeks Till Brother day started at the chiropractor. I wish I had been consistent about going last time around, as this pregnancy has felt way easier on my body. Owen likes coming because everyone gives him attention and there’s fish tanks and a train table to play with. He was happy as a clam when we headed over to Homegoods to do some browsing (because who doesn’t love Homegoods?), and was such a good boy as we shopped. I decided to reward him (and my gurgling stomach) with a special pizza lunch. We sat in the near-empty restaurant, just him and me, and shared some slices and a bottle of water. It was just…so nice. On the drive home, he kept telling me “Happy Mother’s Day, Mommy!”, a leftover phrase learned special for this past weekend. He can keep telling me that as long as he wants.
I’m not “done” with being pregnant yet, but I’m getting there. I waddle. Sleeping is uncomfortable and punctuated by frequent trips to the bathroom. I need Michael’s assistance to hurl myself off the couch. I’m hot all the freaking time. (That sweater I wore today? BAD CHOICE. I was thisclose to stripping naked in the middle of the restaurant. Probably not the best move.)
The other part of the denial is that once he’s here, suddenly I’m a parent to TWO children. Yes, NO DUH. What did I think was going to happen? But woo-boy. Is that a whole new ballgame. Sure, we’ll get used to it. But that unknown factor is chilling. (Oddly, one of my biggest questions is how am I going to shower with two kids? Right now Owen sits in the bathroom and reads books or plays with kid-friendly items like tampons. (What, it’s not like I’m using them right now.) I have no idea how it’s going to go when there’s a distracting little baby sitting there with eyes and nostrils that just scream for a toddler to stick his finger in them.)
This post is such a brain dump. Too Long; Didn’t Read version:
This kid is coming in two months, my baby is going to be the big kid and I’m overheating. Send ice cream and a wine that I can crack open July 15th.
8 comments
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May 15, 2012 at 1:25 pm
Leah, agirlandaboy (@agirlandaboy)
I’m right there with ya, sister. It’s going to be crazy. And awesome. And CRAZY.
May 15, 2012 at 2:13 pm
Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks
You’re a beautiful mama of one who will be a beautiful mama of two (shower or no shower!). Since my little one came at 31 weeks, passing this milestone is always such a big deal to me (even though it’s the norm for others). =)
May 15, 2012 at 2:37 pm
Life of a Doctor's Wife
First of all, you look fabulous! Secondly, two months!!! I have no experience to back this up, but I am guessing that everything will work out beautifully and you will wonder how you ever lived without two kiddos.
May 15, 2012 at 3:07 pm
qu33nbee
You look great, by the way. My assumption is (though I have no experience.. Obviously) that he’ll still be your baby when Numero Dos is here. He’s just the …bigger.. baby.
May 16, 2012 at 9:08 am
Molly P
I had a hard time, crying about the loss of my first being the baby when the 2nd was born too. And now I’m emotional about the first being a kid and the second being a toddler. Watching them grow up just feels bittersweet; even as I’m excited to watch stages pass, I want to cling on to now forever.
As for the shower thing, I used to put the baby in the crib/cosleeper for the shower so the toddler wouldn’t accidentally hurt him. I had to live with some crying in order to do it. Now they both run around the 2nd floor like crazy (gates up, childproofing).
May 16, 2012 at 4:41 pm
Audrey
I passed this milestone about two and a half years ago. My second is much more … energetic and mischievous than my first, so showers are still an interesting thing. But they get done, daily, and yours will, too. Any chance Owen can go to day care or preschool for a little while? I kept our oldest in pre-school (she was 2.5) when our youngest was born and it was such a blessing for both of us: she had a routine, friends, and things that were just hers; I got some one-on-one time with my new baby (and time to heal from a c-section). Going to two was scary…but I’ve decided that if we choose to go to three, it will be worse: there are only TWO parents and we’ll be out-numbered!!
May 16, 2012 at 8:57 pm
Tara
I am loving reading your blog because I am in the same situation. I am due 4 days after my daughter’s 2nd birthday (August 6th)… with TWINS. I am feeling very anxious about the amount of attention I will be able to offer her. She is getting so fun and I am really enjoying our 1:1 time! We’ll get through it, though. Looking forward to reading how you manage it all!
May 17, 2012 at 4:52 am
Anne @ Toddler shoes
Even when they’ve left home and have their own family, they’l still be “your baby”. That’s just part of being “a mum”.