Well, it’s over. We had the conversation. And I am currently in the process of relocating to a town far, far away.

When my phone rang at 9:30 I knew it was her before I even looked. I held my phone in my hand, took a deep breath…and chickened out. Her message was short, but to the point. Call her. Soon.

So I called my mom, who told me that the ball was now in my court and I really needed to just suck it up and do it.

My heart was beating out of my chest and I my hands were shaky. I hit send and…

The freaking line was busy. Busy! For ten minutes! (Let’s not even talk about how it’s 2007 and hello, call waiting!) Knowing that I could just walk away from the whole thing right now, I put the phone down. But then I changed my mind because I just wanted to get it over with.

So I dialed again. Oh God, it’s ringing. Oh God, don’t say God!

“Hello?”

“Hi [his mother], it’s Molly.”

“Oh, hi Molly. I was just calling to tell you that I care about you and I’m sorry you think I hate you.”

Oh God boy.

Highlights, because I know you like the highlights:

  • Even though she loves me and cares about me, she is very upset that I am not “born again.” And until I learn to accept Jesus into my heart for all eternity, it will always bother her.
  • After I told her that whatever path I choose to follow is my business and not hers and I was very concerned that when there are children there will be problems. She agreed and said that’s why we need to be on the same page now. I told her that no matter how long this goes on, we will never be on the exact same page.
  • I told her that I didn’t want any more religious literature. That I found it pushy and invasive. I also told her that there is a very good chance that next year Michael and I will be married and I’m not going anywhere. I don’t think she liked that too much.
  • Her answer for everything I said was either “I’m sorry you feel that way”, “I never said that”, or just plain silence.

So basically, we got nowhere. She continually apologized for my feelings, but not for causing me to feel that way. I hung up just as Michael was coming home from work. He walked in and found me lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, phone still in my hand. Completely emotionally spent. Completely tired of all this crap.

But it’s over. For now, at least. I can only hope that despite her lack of response, she heard what I was saying. And if not, I’ll just keep saying it over and over until she does.

Although running away is starting to sound much more appealing. Anyone want to adopt me for a few weeks? I’ll let you borrow my shoes.

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