Whenever my coworker is out of the office she leaves me in possession of her Magic Eight Ball. Last time I had it was February. I shook it as hard as I could and asked the same question I always ask it, “Will Michael propose soon?”

My sources say yes.

I really wanted to believe it so I wrote down the date on a Post-It and stuck in my desk drawer.

The Eight Ball? Was wrong. I’m not sure what the Eight Ball considers to be soon, but it’s been five months since I asked it. Not quite my idea of soon.

Since aquiring it on Friday, I’ve asked the same question once every day. Each day has been a different answer.


– It is decidedly so.

– Outlook not so good.

This is usually the time I shake it again, because obviously the Magic Eight Ball is just tired and is therefore giving me the answer I do not want to hear wrong answer.

Since the Eight Ball is being stubborn, I decided to ask it some questions about my weekend instead.

Is it going to rain for the Blessing of the Fleet? It is decidedly so.

Will that stop us from going to the beer tent? Concentrate and ask again.

Will that stop us from going to the beer tent? Very doubtful.

Will I have fun at the party on Saturday? Yes.

Will I end up drinking one too many? You may rely on it.

But it will be worth it, right? Better not tell you now.

Ooooh, that tricky Eight Ball.