First of all, do I have the most awesome readers or what? Thank you to everyone who linked to The Winning Pitch yesterday. Also, a big thanks for your support about the reviews. The one for October is posted below.

On my way into work this morning, I called my friend, the is she or isn’t she bridesmaid. Her birthday was on Tuesday and even though I was mad at her, I called and left her a birthday message. When I still hadn’t heard back from her by today, I decided to bite the bullet and call one more time.

She picked up on the second ring with a cheerful “Hello!” And before I knew it, the word vomit was coming up and I was talking a mile a minute. I told her how when I pictured my wedding, I always thought she would be standing next to me. How we had been friends since 1st grade and it was important for her to share that day with me.

However, I was so hurt by her response and then lack of contact afterwards that I was seriously reconsidering my decision to include her in my wedding party.

She burst into tears and began apologizing. Apparently she IS very happy for me and unfortunately let her own insecurities and issues overwhelm her when I shared the news. “I know you’ve been waiting for this forever,” she said. “I love you and couldn’t be happier for you.”

By now I’m a mess, driving down Route 1 bawling my eyes out. And she’s bawling her eyes out, which of course made me cry more. In the end, I officially asked her to be a bridesmaid and I’m very happy with my decision. I’m glad I made the effort and didn’t just write her off.

I thought that issue was the cause of my nervous stomach today, but it’s still here so I know what’s really causing it. We’re having dinner with His Mother tonight. I haven’t talked about her lately because things have actually been really quiet on that front. The few times I’ve seen her have been fine, almost normal, actually.

Tonight we’re going to celebrate the engagement with her and Michael’s grandmother. And while it’s supposed to be a celebration, I am already dreading the inevitable–the discussion about getting married in a church (we’re probably not) and the discussion about money. Tonight we have to ask for financial help and I’m really not excited about that. Especially since a few months ago, the grandmother thought I should get married with 20 guests in our backyard.

Cross your fingers that tomorrow’s post will be a positive one!

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