* I would have a shoe room, lined with shelf after shelf of beautiful designer shoes in every color of the rainbow. Especially these:


(Sorry, where was I? I fell into a Christian Louboutin dream state…)

* I would have a personal trainer who would assure me every day that I was stunning, while at the same time kicking my ass. Said trainer would also look exactly like Jake Gyllenhaal in Jarhead.

* My clothes would be a mixture of the finest designers mixed with every day Gap tee shirts. Because I wouldn’t be a snob.

* I would smile for the paparazzi as I struck my signature pose: hand on hip, hips turned and angled slightly forward as so to make me look as long and lean as possible.

* I would step out of cars like a lady and never show anyone my Britney.

* I would actually really donate to charitable organizations.

* I would not carry around kick-me dogs in my purse. Big dogs all the way.

* I would say No Thanks to free drugs, but Yes Please to free swag.

* I would be the next face of Chanel. (What, a girl can dream, can’t she?)

What would you do?