Saturday night we attended a Christmas party for the fire department Michael used to volunteer for in college. I always look forward to the party because it’s a great chance to get together with all the guys I used to hang out with in college and see some of the girlfriends-turned-wives that have become close friends.

I went back and forth with my outfit choice, finally deciding on a red BCBG dress, textured stockings and heels. I thought I looked pretty good.

We were a little early to the party, so I had a good view on the front door during cocktail hour. And as the current group of college-aged firemen started coming in the door with their dates, my mouth hit the floor.

Their outfits were borderline obscene. All of them! I have never seen so many girls teetering around in skinny heels with the bottom of their dresses barely covering their butt cheeks. I swear, if someone dropped a fork it would have been a serious Britney situation.

After I picked my mouth up off the floor, I turned to gossip about it with my friend. Except she was already sitting at the bar talking to another wife about babies. My friend–a mother of two–and this woman–a soon-to-be mother of two–had found their common bond and were talking a mile a minute.

I turned back to look at the group of girls. “How nice of you to hop off the pole for a few hours and join us,” I thought, followed by “oh my god are you old enough to be here?”

Clearly I could not discuss this with the guys I was standing with, as they saw nothing wrong with it.

This is how the entire cocktail hour went. Me standing next to Michael making small talk with people, all while feeling really stuck in the middle. Not yet a mommy, but not a ho either.

I think this is a weird age. I turn 25 in 28 days. (Yes, New Year’s Eve.) I’m pretty sure I already had my quarter life crisis about two years ago so I’m not freaking out, just thinking about huge differences just a few years make.

Three years ago I would have been one of the girls in the tiny skirts (OK, well not that tiny,) and three years from now I could be a mom.