(Hi there, Molly readers. It’s Clink, filling in while our girl is in Vegas. )

One of the (many) things I love about Molly is that we can freely discuss our weddings without it turning into a competition. There is no trying to one-up each other, there is no jealousy. We support each other and give each other ideas and it’s all pretty much rainbows and sunshine and GAH I MISS HER MOLLY COME BACK.

Ahem.

So, one of my good friends – a bridesmaid, in fact – got engaged recently.

She’s the first of my close friends (that I have met in real life) to be engaged at the same time I am and?

I hate it.

And I don’t mean that in a (*stomps feet*) “But I want to be the ONLY BRIDE! I want ALL the attention! ME! ME! ME!” sort of way.

I hate it because she’s competitive and has thus turned our respective wedding planning into the Battle of the Brides.

It started a few weeks ago, when I met her downtown for manicures and dinner. Comparison of rings, talk of how the “diamond guy”‘ her fiance got the ring from is the personal jeweler to various celebrities and how it was designed just for her and you know what? La la la la don’t care, love my own ring la la la la.

The competition continued at dinner with talk of how she’s just going to buy a Monique Lhuillier gown because who cares about price when it’s your wedding gown? and how she and her fiance are thinking of getting married at one of the most expensive reception venues in all of already-expensive NYC because it’s “just so opulent!” She said that she “considered” my reception site (um, isn’t that breaking a cardinal rule of girlhood? Thou shalt not get married in the same place as your friend!) but she and her fiance thought it was “too much of a blank slate.” (Which is exactly what I love about it.) (Also, why the hell did she have to go and diss my place? Why even mention it?)

I just kept stuffing more bread into my mouth to keep from asking her, politely, to shut the hell up.

And this is someone I love! She’s not a faux-friend that I put up with because, like, she has access to exclusive restaurants or because our significant others are close. This is a true blue, has-hugged-me-while-I-sobbed-on-the-floor-after-a-break-up, very close friend.

Who, apparently, turned into Psycho Bridezilla the minute her 2.5-carat diamond with baguettes was slipped onto her ring finger.

I’m so naive sometimes. I was excited when she initially told me she got engaged because I thought great! Someone who can support me and knows what I’m going through and maybe we can even go dress shopping together, how awesome would that be?

And now, of course, it’s turned into My Wedding vs. Her Wedding, against my will. I’m really not in the mood to add “compete with close friend” on the list of things I have to do because my “to do” list is very long and complicated and WHO HAS THE TIME TO WORRY WHETHER MY FAVORS WILL BE BETTER THAN HERS? (Note: they will be, but still.)

She’s loaded, and thus prone to bragging about how she and her fiance are getting married in 2009 so that they’ll have an extra “bonus season” to pay for both the wedding and a McMansion in Connecticut that they will move into shortly after. Just yesterday she emailed me about whether or not I think 400 guests is “a bit much” because “we really don’t want to cut the guest list, you know? We want EVERYONE to be there!” This is someone who I had emotionally discussed my guest list with, someone I confided in and told that I was upset at having to keep it around 175 because I wished I could invite the entire world.

Oh and she’s “got to cancel dinner” with us girls because they “have an appointment with Sylvia Weinstock!” She “wants the cake to be the centerpiece – shock, awe, etc.!”

That sound you hear is me vomiting into my garbage can at work. Also, it is taking all my strength not to offhandedly comment that “if the Platinum Wedding taught me anything, it’s that money can’t buy a wonderful wedding.”

I miss my friend, I really do. I hope that after the initial rush of wedding-mania that comes with getting engaged she’ll simmer down and revert to her old, lovable self. I mean seriously, I cannot stress enough how surprising her behavior is. Before yesterday I would’ve put her at the top of a list of some of the funniest, most likable people I know.

So, in sum: thank you Molly for being nothing but supportive and helpful about my wedding; I hope I’ve been the same to you.

And I’m so glad that neither one of us turned into a psycho freak once we got the rings. Amen to that.

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