Hi everyone! La, here, from The New Fanny. The lovely Molly asked me to fill in for her whilst she is off gallivanting in Sin City, and before I begin? I must reveal how much I sincerely just love the crap out of Molly. Not only is she gorgeous, with hair to die for, but she is smart and funny and sensitive and supportive, and just a wonderful, wonderful friend. She is my shoe soul sister – and god help us if we ever get together and go shoe shopping, because not only does she love shoes just as much as I do? We even have the same exact pair. I was going to honor my time here by posting pictures of all my shoes, but the wonderful KLC beat me to the punch. So I decided, once again, to get a little personal.

 

For those of you who don’t know me, in a nutshell, I’ve been going through a very difficult time lately. I was living with a man whom I’d been with for almost six years. We recently got engaged, had an engagement party, started planning the wedding, and I purchased my wedding dress. Then, out of nowhere, he decided to leave me. Five months before the wedding. At first, he claimed it was not a permanent thing – he said he just needed time to figure things out. But what it was all along? And what I never, not in a million years, expected it to be? Was the fact that he had been cheating on me for the past three months with a woman I know, who he is now convinced that he is in love with. Sufficed to say, the relationship is over. This post is not going to be about the heartbreak that I’ve suffered, or the disgust and self-doubt I’ve been through, but rather looking positively towards my future, and the fact that I have to start over. That I get to start over.

 

Dating is a scary thing. Dating is something that, day in and day out, my ex and I used to discuss and literally brush our brow and heave an emphatic “phew”, because we never had to go through it again. Or so I thought. And when my relationship first ended with him, I couldn’t even fathom the thought of being intimate with anyone else – to me, it would almost feel like cheating. Physically or emotionally. I just couldn’t see being with anyone ever again. And when I thought about what I wanted in my next mate? All I could come up with was a running tally of my ex’s better qualities. I was destined for failure.

But then, I started getting out of bed. And changing my pajamas, and my heart became less heavy, and I started thinking about the fact that I really would like to have sex again some day, and the idea became more and more appealing. I can say definitively that I’m still not ready, but I’m open to the idea. Which is a huge step. And the more I thought about my ex, the more I thought, “I definitely don’t want my next mate to have x, y or z characteristics”, and all of the sudden, I feel like I’m hand-crafting the perfect man. And even though I sometimes worry about my age (33) and feel like I’m too old to start over, I also know that I’m not going to settle for anything less than I truly want and deserve. And it’s nice to love myself that much. It really is.

 

But in addition to browsing online personals and dating sites, one, in particular, where I found a profile of someone who looked extremely familiar to me and I couldn’t quite pinpoint why, until it was pointed out that it was my ex-husband, I’ve also tentatively agreed to be set up on a few blind dates. Which, I’m not going to lie, scares the bejesus out of me. I feel like I’m back in 7th grade – that I’m going to be judged, and maybe rejected, and it’s just something that’s so unfamiliar to me. It’s been a really long time since I’ve been on a date. So I beg you all for advice. What is your best dating advice? What are some of your more disastrous date stories? Your funniest stores? Your great date stories? Share!

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