7:30 a.m.

Michael nudges me in bed. “Molly, are you going to the gym?”

Me: “Grumble, grumble, huh?, grumble.”

Knock, knock, knock.

“Molly, is Jen here?”


Ding, dong!


At the gym:

“Feeling the burn on the StairMaster today. Woah, I know I did weights yesterday but a weekend away from the gym really effects my cardio. Blah. OK, 20 minutes is enough. I’ll go on the elliptical for the rest of the time. Music isn’t bad in here today, but I like it better when they play 80s rock in the morning. Really gets me going. You’re way too beeeeeeautiful girl, that’s why we will never work. You had me su — huh? In denial? Those aren’t the words! They’re trying to be PC at the gym? Ugh. Just put on some Poison, will ya?

I feel hotter than usual and I’m really thirsty. Time to stop, it’s almost time to leave anyway. Woooah, I feel dizzy. And nauseous. And uh oh, I better lay down. OK, on the mat. Why is the ceiling spinning? I wonder if this mat was wiped down…ew…don’t care. Still dizzy. And hot. Gah.”

In the shower:

“Wash away the mat sweat ewwww. Still feel dizzy. Should I call out? No, we had yesterday off and there will be so. much. email. Sneeze! Oh no. Now I’m sneezing? And ow, that hurt my throat. Blah. Guess I’m calling out.”

Back in bed:

“Michael, stop being annoying. I’m sick! Stop pinching my thighs. That’s not funny! Grrrr. I’m gonna pop you.”

In the afternoon:

“The woman from the church was supposed to leave the door open for us today. Ugh, we better go. But she never confirmed in the email. Oh well, she knows it’s today. I’ll just call to remind her. Hm, answering machine. Hope she gets it. I know she got it, right? I’ll just throw on this baseball cap and we can go. Quick look in mirror? Sure. AH! Ugh, pasty and gross. Do not look in mirror anymore.”

At the church:

“What do you mean the church is locked? Well, jiggle the handle. I can’t believe she didn’t show. I’ll call her again…voicemail! Grrrr. Leave snippy message. Can we at least look in the windows? Boost me up, I’m too short. This must look interesting to anyone driving by. And since when are churches locked? Grrr.”

Back at home:

“I’ll just lay on the couch for a little while and read this great wedding book from my aunt…”

Three hours later:

“Huh? What time is it? 5:45! Time for dinner, I guess!”

10:30 p.m.

“I know you have to use the coupon tonight but can you order from L.L. Bean in the other room? You’re talking over The Millionaire Matchmaker! Shush, it’s a good show. Yes it is!”

11:02 p.m.