What did people do before blogs? Write in journals? Maybe I should get a journal.
When I started to blog, I was very upfront with Michael about what I was doing. I told him how I was writing about my life, him included, and that while I would write about practically everything, I wouldn’t write about absolutely everything. I don’t write about things said in confidence, I don’t write about sex and I only touch on his job.
On Sunday we had a conversation that got me a little upset. Or a lot upset, actually. I’m not going to go into details, but it had to do with his mom and anyone who has been reading for awhile knows how she is often a source of angst. After the conversation was over, Michael asked if I was going to blog about it.
“Probably,” I said with a laugh. Until I looked at his expression. “Unless you don’t want me to…”
He didn’t. For the first time in the history of my blog, he asked me not to write about something.
I think that upset me more than the conversation itself, because for almost two years, when something happens in my life, I tell you. My readers. And your comments and emails and feedback are better than a celebration parade or a $100/hour therapy session. You’re a support system, even if I don’t officially know most of you.
I’m not angry for him asking me not to blog about it. I respect him and if he asks me not to, I won’t. No question. But it made me take a step back and really think. These Little Moments isn’t just about me anymore. It’s about him too. And one day it will probably be about our child.
Sometimes I’ll get an email from my mom passing along a message from my aunt: you’re revealing too much. I never agree. I think I walk the fine line between just enough and too much information, but never cross over that line.
But what I have to remember is that Michael didn’t ask to be introduced to a world full of strangers. I just threw him out there. So if he looks into my eyes and asks me not to share, I won’t. Even though I want to. A lot.
Maybe you keep it all under wraps or maybe you put it all out there. How do you keep the balance?
These Little Moments 
58 comments
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March 5, 2008 at 12:28 pm
Anna
I wonder that a lot with kids. Like, at what age do they say to me, MOM STOP WRITING ABOUT ME?!
But we’ll always be able to write about how they make us feel, and that is what these blogs are for, I think.
March 5, 2008 at 12:29 pm
poodlegoose
I had a scrapbook/journal. I’d paste anything from wedding invites to programs from recitals and pictures and greeting cards in there. There was, of course, the running commentary and double-digit pages from when I broke up with the guy I dated in college.
Blogs, for me, are different. They have ears, give feedback and support. I’m naturally more of a closed-in kinda person – I’ve never shared my personal life, at least not willingly, to strangers, people I’ve never met before and probably will never meet.
I’m not sure how well I keep the balance, but I just think about how I would feel if I ever came across anything about myself written by someone for whom I care deeply. Everything else? Not included. I’m glad that you respect him so much that you won’t include what he doesn’t want. Maybe you could still write about it, only keep it on your computer or find a journal with real pages to vent in sometimes. It really helps me to balance things out when I can get it out of me, at least, whether or not I press “publish”.
March 5, 2008 at 12:29 pm
gibsondog
This is when I go back to my dusty journal and make marks. But, then again … I always some how blog about it with out being particular. So, the essence is there … just in reference.
March 5, 2008 at 12:38 pm
Dutchess of Kickball
Only my very close friends know that I blog, no family, no friends that I would typically write about, no boyfriends. But then again, I’ve only had one significant bf since I started blogging and I easily kept him out of the loop. I find it important to keep my anonymity online since I talk about inappropriate things sometimes.
March 5, 2008 at 12:39 pm
violet
I’m not sure. I stopped blogging for a while because I didnt know how to balance the desire to talk about the relationship nitty gritty and respect for him. I think the honesy you two cultivate makes any outcome ok but its hard – it can be addictive and supportive and all these things to have somewhere to vent, and the idea of it being permanent is hard to reconcile.
March 5, 2008 at 12:40 pm
cdp
please see your email. thx.
March 5, 2008 at 12:41 pm
Peter
I blog about very few personal things. And I’m becoming even less open.
I also kind of hate my blog these days, so you shouldn’t go by me.
March 5, 2008 at 12:45 pm
Jess
I am JUST LIKE YOU. Seriously, it amazes me because you and seem to share the exact same level of anonymity (or lack thereof). And I have the exact same boundaries–I don’t talk about sex, I don’t share things said in confidence, and I try not to talk about his job. I always make sure to warn him before I talk about something that I know is personal for him. A couple of times he has expressed concern but once I’ve showed him the post in draft form he’s been fine with it. That’s pretty much how I deal with the boundaries. I just check with him if I know the topic is the least bit sensitive. So far there hasn’t been a problem.
March 5, 2008 at 12:46 pm
crystall
I think you know I don’t keep an ounce of anonymity, but that works for me. I think it’s in ever bloggers interest to do what makes them comfortable. Since you’re pretty much out there, and the convo is about his Mom, ya gotta understand that. I know he’d do the same for you. He comes before the blog, and one day, so will your baby.
March 5, 2008 at 12:47 pm
Catherine
I keep most everything about my other half under wraps – I’d been blogging for a bit before telling him about it and it didn’t seem right to shove him into the limelight all of a sudden.
Sometimes if I need to I’ll write a big long ranty overdetailed entry and then hit delete. The act of getting it out on screen just for me to read back through is oftentimes enough!
March 5, 2008 at 12:49 pm
The Lisa Show
My mom, aunt, cousins, and (some) friends read my blog. My mom took something I said the wrong way before and went all nutjob on me. My aunt tells me I cuss too much. It’s true, but it’s my blog and I’ll say f*ck if I want to. (This being not mine, I used an asterisk.)
I don’t share too much of my life on my blog though – not my job, real life friends, most of the things that make me happy. If anything, I need to learn how to share more.
March 5, 2008 at 12:50 pm
legallyheidi
I used to blog about a lot of personal things. My ex hated it. When i started this blog i decided to try to keep a level of anonymity and not write about stuff too personal so i could keep it so public. I also have a written journal (that i just started because there was much i wanted to write about that doesn’t get written about on my blog) so that sort of…helps supplement. But i didn’t want to get too personal…i’m just afraid of boyfriends parents or my own parents coming across it and giving me crap as i used to from so many people.
March 5, 2008 at 12:51 pm
Stephanie
No one in my real life knows about my blog besides one random friend about 9 hours away. The probability that I am going to write about her or something that will offend her is rare at best. Usually she will send me a random email out of the blue and laugh about something that has happened to me.
I think that keeping my blog completely hidden (oh, that sounds awful) has been a great decision for me. It works, I am not sure it would work for everyone though.
March 5, 2008 at 12:52 pm
sizzle
It’s difficult to find the balance. I’m finding that now that I am dating someone. There are certain things that I can’t discuss on the blog out of respect for my significant other. It makes it challenging because I, like you, share a lot on my blog. There is very little I don’t discuss. In the past I’ve written the old fashioned way in my paper journal to get that stuff out but it really isn’t the same because, like you said, it’s the community and feedback that really make blogging such a unique and wonderful experience.
March 5, 2008 at 12:53 pm
JenBun
Very few people in my real life even know I have a blog. Actually, someone that I am pretty good friends with just randomly stumbled across it the other day, and immediately recognized that it was me (well, he was pretty sure)– especially since I would say it’s only semi-anonymous? Anyway, it kind of made me feel weird at first, but then I realized that I really don’t care. It’s something that I do for me and, while I enjoy the feedback and the readers and the comments and the bloggy buddies, ultimately it’s just writing.
That said, I don’t have a bf right now, so I’m not sure how much I would share. I do tell all (most) about my dates, but mainly because they are so damn amusing! There are also several posts marked as drafts where I haven’t hit Publish because I just needed to write them; I wasn’t sure I needed to share them. I also have a paper journal, although it’s getting less attention these days…
Do whatever makes you happy and comfortable, Molly. You’re a good person– it’ll be the right thing! 🙂
March 5, 2008 at 12:55 pm
The Casual Perfectionist
I wanted my husband to be on-board with me writing in the public arena, and he agreed if I followed some conditions. I would not specifically say where we were located. I would not use his real name or my real name. We compromised and used Claire’s real name. I won’t use pictures of me or him. Pictures of Claire are okay for now, until she gets older and has more of a “say.”
I had a stalker in college that found me on the Internet. That pretty much changed my outlook FOREVER on what to share and what not to share. Not sharing every-single-detail doesn’t make you not real…and it’s not necessarily censorship…it’s more a self-preservation issue. (as I see it.)
There are personal things that I don’t write about. There are things that we may have in the works that I don’t share. Partly because people don’t need to know everything right away (if at all) and partly because we have relatives that read the blog and they would be devastated if they read things on the blog that we haven’t discussed with them personally.
It’s HARD for me to not blurt out info about projects I’m working on, etc., but I know that waiting to reveal information is the best thing. It’s HARD for me to not be really blunt about my thoughts and feelings about some things, but the intention of my blog is not to hurt people, so I keep some things to myself. Like I said, the intention of my blog isn’t to share EVERYTHING…just the things I want to share.
If something happens to me that I’d love to blog about, but I know it wouldn’t be received well, I’ll email a friend or a sister. Or, I just write about it offline.
When you look at The Casual Perfectionist, it’s all me….but it’s not everything. I’m not sure if that makes sense.
March 5, 2008 at 1:03 pm
dreamgrrl
You know, I don’t know how you do it – but I am proud of you. I have kept my whole blog a secret, mostly b/c I say things, like a journal – in a venting fashion, that maybe not everyone would want to hear. So I’ve never told anyone about it, and most likely I never will. I just want something for me. And since it isnt specific to us, since who are “we” – I dont think it matters. But you’re doing the right thing by keeping the important stuff private – and keeping your relationship between you two, as it should be. But when you want to express your feelings and thoughts, I dont think theres a line there, or that you’ve crossed it by any means. xo
March 5, 2008 at 1:03 pm
brookem
I think it’s hard to find the balance. Especially when you have a significant other, who is obviously a huge part of your life. You want to include him in it, but you don’t want to share… too much.
I’m single so it’s a little different. But I stuggle with similar questions. How much to reveal about the men I date? How much to talk about my best friend, my roommate, my mom. I guess it’s all relative. It’s just… yeah, it’s tough to find that balance.
But because these things, these people ARE such a big part of my life, I choose to include them. It’s just finding a way to do so without being too… intrusive.
Sorry, I’m all over the “…’s” today. And I don’t even know if this comment makes a spec of sense.
Need coffee.
March 5, 2008 at 1:14 pm
Stacey
I only have a few close friends that read my blog, and those are the friends that KNOW me so they know the difference between regular Stacey and crazy venting Stacey where my mom or some family might not understand. Sad that my friends know me better than my family but that’s just how it is in my life. My brother doesn’t own a computer so that’s out!
My husband does know about my blog but he doesn’t read it. He knows it’s my outlet and he also knows it holds some anonymity. I guess it COULD be found, but who is really looking or has the time? I can only think of a few posts that I would not want read.
March 5, 2008 at 1:18 pm
itsallabouthallie
I also think it is hard to find balance…i first started blogging and told NO ONE. for me it was a way to vent to let it go…then a friend convinced me i should write a blog, knowing full well i had one i was not will to share everything in it. So now I have a new blog, and i write as if my conservative father were to read it….he doesnt but if he did i would not want to upset him with it. I probably could write a bit more about how i am feeling, but we will keep that for the other blog…i like to entertain the reader with funny kid stories or life stories… or i like to write about feelings just like everyone else has but not always willing to share right away so we feel as though we are not alone in this crazy world.
keep up the great work!!
March 5, 2008 at 1:20 pm
Mia
When I read your title, I thought you were going to tell us that your quitting the blog, and I thought “oh my god, not her too!”
Just wanted to tell you that I’m glad your not, and even if it’s just to tell us what shoes your wearing, or you experiences at the gym, keep it up!
March 5, 2008 at 1:22 pm
Ashley
i have you and gchat. and our daily lunch breaks to bellmont/panera/wherever the car takes us 🙂
March 5, 2008 at 1:38 pm
bing
I’m new to the blogging world. I enjoy writing and thought this would be a good opportunity to get my thoughts out there and also would be a good place to bounce wedding ideas off other brides/brides-to-be. Some people in my real life know that I am blogging, but they don’t know the site. I feel like it would be hard to be truthful about some things knowing that people that are close to me are reading them. But since I am so new, I am still figuring it all out. For now, I am staying as anonymous as possible.
I admire you for being so open about your life and sharing so much of yourself with all of us out here. I know it must be hard to draw the line on whether to share something or not. But I think you are doing just fine balancing it all. Keep it up! 🙂
March 5, 2008 at 1:41 pm
heidikins
It’s a tricky balance… and I find it easiest to write posts and not post them if subject matter is too tricky…. it’s a chickening out kind of response, but its’ the best I got.
Loves!
xox
March 5, 2008 at 2:00 pm
Nic
I have a hard time about this. People in my life don’t ask for me to discuss them or my relationships with them so I have to respect that. It’s hard for me though because I have a very dysfunctional family and I would love to commiserate about that…
March 5, 2008 at 2:00 pm
erin
i don’t really tell anyone about my blog so i don’t worry about upsetting someone by saying too much. that said, i am freaked out momentarily that someone will stumble upon it and all the stuff i’ve been saying will be right there for them to read. I definitely do write about the personal stuff, but there is also quite a bit I leave out. Mostly because I’m not quite comfortable putting it out there.
March 5, 2008 at 2:02 pm
Michelle and the City
i’ve had the same thought process as of late. i feel before clancy and i broke up, i shared a lot about our relationship. he never came out and said in so many words that he didn’t like it, but he’s also made a few comments in the past about certain things i blogged about. now i feel that i’m much more closed off with what i share. it’s definitely a hard thing to balance. but you’re right, respect his wishes because we were the ones that started the blog, not them.
and of course, i email some of my close friends/readers if i need that advice or to vent when i can’t blog about it! 🙂
March 5, 2008 at 2:11 pm
Anna
I think it’s great that you are taking his feelings into consideration – I totally agree with Crystall that it’s all about putting the important people in your life before your blog.
When I started blogging three years ago, my boyfriend got all freaked out. I believe his response was, “You’re putting information on the internet WHERE ANYONE CAN SEE IT? But WHAT IF SOMEONE STARTS TO STALK YOU? OR STEAL YOUR IDENTITY?”
After assuring him that I wasn’t planning on blogging about my social security number or home mailing address, he went on to clarify that he really didn’t want information about HIM on the internet. So I just don’t write about our relationship or his life. Occasionally something comes up that I really do want to blog about – in those cases I just ask him first, and it’s been fine.
Good luck figuring out the balance for your blog! 🙂
March 5, 2008 at 2:32 pm
Angela
Like you, I think I’m very upfront and open in my blog. Also, like you, I choose not to discuss my sex life and only mention Colby’s job in passing since I don’t want to get in trouble with the US government! Until recently, pretty much everything else was fair game. And then, last year, during the wedding planning process I vented a little bit about my frustrations with his mother trying to take over our wedding. And his mother read it. And heads rolled.
In short, I don’t discuss his family anymore, and if I do, it is VERY obliquely. Usually in a sentence that begins, “Someone whose name I will not mention…”!
So, basically, I totally get where you’re coming from, and I hope you figure out how to redraw your boundaries, because it is a very fine line you have to walk at times. Good luck!
March 5, 2008 at 2:39 pm
DevilsHeaven
My first thoughts? Why doesn’t he want you to share? Did he ask you not to share with your real-life friends? The people who will actually KNOW who she is and most likely meet her at the wedding? Why is it ok for them to know the story and not those of us who have no idea who the woman is?
My second thoughts? Thank goodness F doesn’t know I Blog because I doubt he’d like it much. I try not to write him in a bad light, but I highly doubt he’d care for me retelling about the things that have happened when we visit his folks.
I don’t know how to tell you to balance it, since I don’t have to. I wish you the best of luck in figuring it out.
March 5, 2008 at 2:47 pm
mel
It is hard to find that balance. My boyfriend *really* doesn’t like stories about him spewed on the internet…. which I can see… so really, I just try to keep content about me and whenever I dish about others – I only keep it positive. That’s my own way of handling it.
March 5, 2008 at 2:52 pm
caitlynintherye
I don’t really have a balance. I guess our blogs are a lot different because, while I use my real name, I don’t actively pass the link on to people. My friends and family know I have one, and several of them read. But I never write anything that I wouldn’t say to their faces- the sex stories included. I’m from New Jersey, obviously I’m loud and outspoken. What I write doesn’t sound word-for-word like a passage out of a book with Fabio sprawled out on the cover, but it does allude to things.
I guess it also makes it different that I don’t have a particular significant other, and haven’t really over the course of the site, so there’s no one else directly affected.
March 5, 2008 at 3:22 pm
Emma
And that’s why I like LiveJournal… because with their locking feature I can control exactly who can read what entries. It’s nice, it’s liberating. I can write a personal entry no one can read but me, I can write an entry only certain friends can see or I can write a fully public entry. My journal (years ago) used to be fully open to the public… but as I grew up, and as people found out about it, I slowly started locking it down to people I trust. Now, people like the guy I’m seeing, knows about it, but if they were to visit it, they would only get the most superficial of posts and not be able to see all my rambles about him, friends, family, etc. I love it.
March 5, 2008 at 3:28 pm
skinny
my blog was anonymous. i am more of a private person and so is my partner and i respect that a lot. but still there were times i struggled whether to blog about something or not, because it might have slightly touched upon my private life.
and i got tired of some readers jumping into conclusions/judgements by the limited but well chosen topics i blog about.
i don’t want to deal with the balance, so i quit blogging. to me, it just wasn’t worth the hassle. : )
March 5, 2008 at 3:48 pm
verybadcat
#1: I try to hold on to some anonymity, as far as not overtly revealing where I live or where I work, etc. This is to protect me from the evil internets.
#2: My husband and one of my BFF’s are the only people IRL who even know that I blog, much less ever finding it. My husband doesn’t read the blog, the BFF does. I tell her everything anyway.
#3: Before I blog something, I think about what will happen if EVERYONE I’VE EVER KNOWN finds the blog. With work stuff, I’m ultra careful, but I also figure I have a right to expression, and without any identifying information, they’re going to have a hard time nailing me there. As far as family, my Mom and Dad might have some hurt feelings, but then again, I don’t really think there isn’t anything that I’ve said on the blog that they don’t already know how I feel about anyway.
#4: WH and I agreed that we wouldn’t impose communication rules on our own peeps. Meaning- I can tell my friends and family whatever I want, so long as I abide by his wishes in what I tell HIS friends and HIS family. Works for me.
If Michael asked you not to blog about something, I would probably dig a little deeper into why. Not because you shouldn’t honor his wishes, but because he’s asking you to cut yourself off from part of your support system, and that’s worth of an in-depth justification. 🙂
March 5, 2008 at 4:12 pm
lfar
Man, it is tough! Luckily I have only myself to report to. Sometimes I wish I was anon… blogging under true identity doesn’t get enough cred!
March 5, 2008 at 4:42 pm
heatherdc
There’s definitely a lot of stuff I don’t blog about. I keep pretty private about relationships, etc.
What’s weird about this “blogging” thing is that now, when something weird/funny/entertaining happens to me…my thought process is “I should blog about this” or “this would make a good blog”. Me and LB laugh about that a lot 🙂
March 5, 2008 at 5:10 pm
distracted spunk
I really don’t know why I started blogging anonymously. Just did. But I’ve always maintained a certain level of privacy in my own life as it is. My work life is usually very separate from my home life, and my family knows so little about what goes on. Several of my close friends have the link to my blog – mostly because they’ve been around for most of these moments, and sometimes, it’s easier to say “Just read the blog,” rather than explain it all over again. The blog helps me focus, something I don’t do well normally.
But I have noticed that as much as I may think I’m completely and utterly open, sometimes I can be pretty damn cryptic to those who don’t know me. That’s not to say I haven’t been found. An ex found my blog (luckily, we’re on good terms), as did an old boss of mine. And that’s fine. I just don’t go handing out free passes. But I won’t disguise my identity if it appears. I think if you already know me, it’s easy to see right through everything on the blog and pick me out as its author. Who knows.
March 5, 2008 at 5:14 pm
Vanessa
I ask to do an anonymous post on someone else’s blog. I can still get it out there, still get feedback, not reveal anything.
March 5, 2008 at 5:22 pm
Laurie Kendrick
I put a lot of me out there. I just wrap most of what I want to share in humor. If you do it correctly, it works to your advantage from a literary standpoint. You’d be amazed how comedy can both soften the blow and hammer home a point.
You’ve heard the expression: “many a truth is said in jest?”
It’s true.
LK
March 5, 2008 at 5:58 pm
christine
I actually asked my husband not to read my blog unless I tell him that he may read a particular entry. He totally agreed, because he knows what a verbal processor I am, and he knows that I don’t yet have “confessional friends” out here that I can talk to while he’s gone.
I asked him to do that because my blog is about my experience as a military spouse and mom, and I want to be completely honest about it. However, I also made the mistake of letting family and assorted acquaintances know about my blog, and now I feel like my cover is blown. I did it to myself, but now I struggle with how much to share because, even though my husband isn’t reading, chances are good his mother is.
My bigger concern, though, is copyright. As a writer, I’m so nervous about the cut-and-paste privilege. I don’t want to see someone lift my work, but you can’t track that on a blog. So I suppose I keep my best writing to myself, in the interest of future publication with financial benefit. Not sure if that’s the best choice, but there you go.
March 5, 2008 at 6:28 pm
theotherotherjessica
I don’t have a blog, but I do have a mom who treated my then-boyfriend/now-husband badly. I have never made excuses for, or tolerated her behavior but it’s been very painful and embarrassing to have to admit to it all. Maybe your Michael is feeling similarly.
March 5, 2008 at 6:51 pm
somechick84
I have total respect for your ability to be so open. I hope to get to that point, or maybe I never will. Maybe I need to tell the boy about my blog, it’s not really too personal… but it still seems odd, like it’s supposed to be a secret when you’re sharing more than general articles or movie reviews doesn’t it? Again, kudos, and double kudos for respecting his request. That’s awesome.
March 5, 2008 at 7:12 pm
renae68
Dear Molly,
You write a fiction book under a pen name. And you spill out every single detail.
It is wonderful therapy, and no one knows it is you.
And no one knows it is true. 🙂
–r
March 5, 2008 at 7:25 pm
Chelle
I reveal v. little on my blog that is personal. I view it more as infotainment; however, I am a private person that doesn’t feel comfortable with her dirty laundry hanging out for inspection. Instead those other things are kept in journaling pages or within intimate conversations with friends. I guess that means I have more control over who is seeing them and when.
I’m not always certain that this is expressive or healthy, but for now it is what I am comfortable with in Blogland.
No, Michael did not ask to become a search term; however, he did choose to be with you. That comes with compromise on his end as well. Just make sure as things come up that you are not the only one compromising. You’ll find balance. You’re awesome!
LOL… Call soon.
March 5, 2008 at 7:45 pm
Kateastrophe
Haha my husband is so nervous that I’m going to embarrass him on my blog! I’m not nearly as good as you about posting, but I do have to watch myself. I’ve posted things that hurt people before . . . and been hurt by others posts as well.
It is a fine line but I think the #1 rule is making sure to think of other people and their feelings first . . . you’ll find a great balance if you do that (which I think you always have!)
mwah!
March 5, 2008 at 8:26 pm
katelin
Yeah my boyfriend sort of reacts the same way sometimes. Although I don’t put absolutely everything out there, I do reveal a lot and I guess I have to learn to respect his privacy as well as other people I mention. It definitely is a fine line that we all have to master.
March 5, 2008 at 8:38 pm
Noelia
This is the balance I found: I have 2 blogs. One for family/friends, the other for the ‘world’.
I tell people I blog, but I don’t really give them the address or very specific info about WHERE to find me.
The problem with being so open and honest is that people who know you in real life get upset, mad and it’s like you’re opening the door to advice, arguements and other things just for saying what you want to say.
We blog and we dont want to offend people. We want to ‘vent’ here and it’s like the blogging community is our therapist. I really agree with you on that. Just the thought of knowing people would read what I write is very comforting… you know there is someone out there who would agree with you, or give you advice, support.
But, there are those who know us and they arent that happy with the things we say… we share with the world.
Just be careful… you’ll find the balance between TMI and the things you want to keep private. Having 2 blogs is also another option… 🙂
March 5, 2008 at 10:49 pm
Searching insights
I think you’re at the fine balance of just enough and TMI. I love to visit your blog because of your honesty and want to share what is going on with your life. Many times I find myself relating, ESPECIALLY when it’s about the Crazy. I feel better knowing the Crazy attacks all women, no matter how secure they seem! Much cheaper to read your blog then therapy.. 🙂
I used to blog, a lot. Remember the days of Xanga? 🙂 I quit because I found I wasn’t getting the audience I wanted to share in my life experiences. It was like writing in my journal except I couldn’t be as frank as I would be in the said journal.
You are lucky cause you did find that supportive audience to use as a soundboard. Please don’t stop! First Clink and now you? I couldn’t survive with BOTH gone!!!
PS. Please bring her back. Tell her the anonymous chick in Nebraska misses her.
March 5, 2008 at 11:23 pm
Miriam D
I have a deal with my boyfriend – I don’t talk about blogging with him. He doesn’t want to know what I right about, because everytime we did talk about it, it was obvious he felt uncomfortable.
But I still don’t write about him too much. Just about me in relation to him… it’s a fine fine line. I hope I’m not crossing it, but when I question myself, I stay on the safe side.
All bloggers know that the blog is merely one side of the blogger behind it.
March 6, 2008 at 1:37 am
Lara
oh hell – anyone who has read my depression series or any of my posts about cutting can tell you that when it comes to me, i’ll share it all. when it’s about others, i’m more careful.
however, i’ve been really annoyed by how paranoid my current employers are about my blog. even not giving any identifying details, talking only about the most general topics, and only sharing positive aspects, they think i’ve said too much about their kids. literally, we’re talking about 30-second “aw, so cute!” conversations that any 2-year-old could have had with any adult, and somehow i’m not allowed to share. it’s so frustrating not to be able to talk about why i enjoy my job!
March 6, 2008 at 2:13 am
AP
there are about a billion things I want to write, but I can’t or choose not to based on some people who personally know me who read my blog. when I write, it’s brutally honest and it’s how I really feel. I dont’ sugarcoat things or tame things down. Idk.. in a way I censor myself, but I figure if my situation involves them (ie a fight we’ve had), I dont feel it necessary for them to read the extra feelings I left out awhile talking to them. And sometimes I write in anger and say things I shouldn’t.
idk. I will respect anyone’s wishes to remove something from my blog or to refrain from writing about it if it will cause a problem. although in the end, I wish I would’ve never shared the fact I write with anyone who knows me. sometimes defeats the whole blogging purpose.
March 6, 2008 at 12:44 pm
J
That is why I keep my blog anonymous. But that is hard, too. I want to be more open, post photos sometimes, and allow my friends to read what I think might be a good post every now and then, but I can’t because of the anonymity. So it is not as satisfying. But still, it can be cathartic and at this point is better than not writing at all.
Good luck!
March 6, 2008 at 2:44 pm
Marriage-101
This is why I don’t tell family or real-life friends about my blog. My husband knows, but there are some things you just keep private, or you know, just off the blog. That’s what email is for 🙂
March 6, 2008 at 9:18 pm
kevin
I throw a lot out there on my blog, and I sometimes wonder when it’s going to come back and bite me in the ass. Will my daughter, who’s not yet two, someday be able to sit int he computer lab at school and pull up some all-inclusive google file on me with everything I ever said about her, my wife, our friends or whoever?
My wife was also miffed when I asked her not to bring up my recent vasectomy when friends came over for dinner but then went on to write about it in my blog that next evening. But it’s different.
When you click on someone’s blog you’re asking for their opinions and dirt and nitty gritty and what have you. Who wants to hear about a severed vas deferens while chopsticking ginger pork in their mouth? Are you feeling me?
Careful, it’s still tender.
March 6, 2008 at 11:21 pm
daily editor
Honestly? Now that I’ve taken a little break from my blog, I can’t tell you how much more free and focused I feel. Call it weird; call it what you will. But I don’t have people calling me on the phone or emailing me to ask about something I posted. My private life is…private.
And not that I didn’t enjoy reading a handful of blogs, but stepping away from them for this amount time has been a good thing. I realized that I should be focusing on my own little world for the moment. I still check a few blogs every now and then, but I’m telling you, it’s been good getting back to life pre-blog.
And the journal? Go for it.
March 7, 2008 at 8:24 pm
Ashley
I can relate so much to this post. No one in my family knows about my blog but I certainly know if i started a relationship with someone that I would never want them to find out. With my last relationship I put too much out there and have vowed never again. I’m not going to change my blog as a way to vent but I’m going to be more careful when voicing frustrations to others. Because as much as it is my personal blog, I have an audience. And that audience has opinions. I love the support system that I’ve garnered out of it, all my readers, friends i’ve made because of it, and how i feel being able to get stuff off my chest. But at the same time it scares me, the amount of people who come to my blog, who comment, who don’t comment. It scares me because I’m anonymous and if someone found me that I didn’t want to read my blog? I don’t even want to think about it.
Its hard to have to censor yourself, for someone you love to tell you to censor yourself. But really only you know whats best for you. 🙂 xoxo
March 12, 2008 at 1:41 pm
Viviane
Oh wow, I just found your blog because it is on the top recommendations of Google Reader today (but actually now see that we have some mutual blogging friends). I saw this post, it is so funny that I wrote a post on the same matter on the same day. And to be honest, I have no good answer either (else I wouldn’t have written about it myself), except, don’t let this keep you from blogging.
Viviane