Do you ever envision your life as a movie? That’s how I would describe the moment I graduated from college. Cue the music: girl with the long curly hair walks across the stage — her pink high heels a shocking contrast against her black cap and gown. She’s handed her diploma, smiles and moves her tassel to the other side of her face.
As she steps off the stage she sees him on the other side of the arch. He’s stopped taking pictures and his beaming at her, arms outstretched.
The background becomes fuzzy, leaving only the boy in focus. The music swells, the frame moves in slow motion. She passes through the arch — meant to be a metaphor, she assumes, for the transition from child to adult — and is scooped up in his hug. He swings her around and she laughs while trying to hold on to her cap.
“I am so proud of you.”
***
I think he’s going to ask me to move in with him, but he doesn’t. I put off finding an apartment until the very last second just in case. He’s not ready to live together.
I pay a lot for an apartment I don’t like. I sleep there twice a week. Maybe once. Sometimes not at all.
***
We decide to visit his grandmother in Arizona for Christmas. Knowing this might be the only opportunity we have to make this type of trip, we pack up the car and take two weeks to drive across the country and back. We hit Lake Havasu, the Grand Canyon, San Diego, and Las Vegas. We spend my birthday in a hotel room in L.A. I drink from a bottle of champagne and cry that for the first time, my friends forgot to call. He reminds me we are three hours ahead of them.
To this day, the trip remains two of the best weeks I ever spent with him.
***
I’m drowning in a quarter-life crisis. While Michael goes off to work each day I drag myself to the daycare, where for nine hours I sing songs, hold babies, clean up food and wipe butts. And because the salary is laughable, afterwards I nanny for three wonderful children until 7 p.m. I am stressed and tired — so tired. I try to assure myself the job is just a stepping stone, that I will find a job that utilizes my degree and will make enough money to not pay for things in quarters.
While Michael is sleeping I apply for a job. I’m late for work and I do not care.
***
He smiles and lets me ramble on and on about my first day. “CNN, baby! I got to work with CNN!” I talk until I have no words left and that’s when the doubt creeps in. Can I do it?
“You can do it.”
***
He’s sent away. An entire month in rural Georgia for work. The longest we’ve been apart is three weeks and that was more than three years ago. We talk when he has a free minute, but it is rare. I hide behind a tree at work and cry, still the new girl and not wanting to be seen upset.
The dog, who is still a puppy, regresses and turns on me. He barks and swats and my legs are covered in bruises. I scream into the phone that I’m going to throw him in the river. Michael sighs and promises he’ll be home soon.
***
My lease is up and we make it official. I say goodbye to the very expensive closet and make myself officially at home in his house. Mom, dad and baby dog together as a family.
It is almost a year before we confirm to his mother we’re living together.
21 comments
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April 2, 2008 at 9:45 am
littlespoon
You know the movie thing? I totally get..except replace movie with Saved by the Bell and you’ve got my mind 🙂
April 2, 2008 at 10:07 am
DevilsHeaven
I’ve had those movie moments. Where everything goes in slow-mo and you are thinking, “Everything is moving in slow-mo, just like in a movie.” Surreal.
The whole living together thing? I hear ya. We’re engaged, to be married, and yet he tells me that when his mom comes to visit, we have to sleep in separate rooms.
WTF?
April 2, 2008 at 10:14 am
dreamgrrl
I love that you didnt tell his mom you were living together for a year, that makes me laugh!
April 2, 2008 at 10:24 am
crystall
Working with CNN sounds cool as heck. And why didn’t his mom know for a year?!
April 2, 2008 at 10:36 am
notsojenny
hahaha…. that last line cracked me up!
April 2, 2008 at 10:38 am
cdp
Oh, yes. The last line is perfect. Classic Molls.
Hope you’re having a great week!
April 2, 2008 at 10:41 am
Rose
sounds so perfect… =)
April 2, 2008 at 10:58 am
sizzlesays
I like these snippets. It’s like “stay tuned…you won’t believe what happens next!”
April 2, 2008 at 11:07 am
Katie
Oh wow, do I remember that transitional time, both in life after college and in our relationship. Such a tough, tough time, but when you look back on it all, it makes you realize what a strong person you were! BTW, I am really liking these stories 🙂
April 2, 2008 at 11:25 am
Anna
Loving this series, Molly.
I think you have your first chick-lit novel outlined, and it just happens to be your life!
April 2, 2008 at 11:29 am
bloggingbarbie
ohhhh i rememberer the mamma drama/living together.
oh, to reiterate, once again….you two give me hope.
(and i’m glad you didn’t throw kodiak in the river.) 🙂
April 2, 2008 at 11:42 am
notperfectdotcom
I love the way you tell your story, never a boring paragraph. I’m glued to my screen scrolling to each bullet point.
more! more! more!
April 2, 2008 at 11:54 am
kristin
i have really been loving reading this. 🙂
April 2, 2008 at 12:07 pm
JenBun
You should bind these and give them to Michael at the wedding…
Your love leaps out of every word! Lovely!
April 2, 2008 at 2:36 pm
alyndabear
Molly, I love reading about you guys and your history. Absolutely love it!
April 2, 2008 at 2:38 pm
poodlegoose
What support. Love these 🙂 Very well written.
April 2, 2008 at 4:40 pm
Stacey
These last few posts have been so fun! I love reading them!! 🙂 So sweet!
April 2, 2008 at 4:40 pm
Stacey
These last few posts have been so fun! I love reading them!! 🙂 So sweet!
April 2, 2008 at 8:58 pm
Are You Willing to Change
I love these posts too…They make me smile and definitely pull at my heart when I can relate. I can relate to the living together thing…we are getting ready to take the plunge, and I know that he is more than a little nervous, while I’m ready to go. Even though he already spends five nights a week at my apartment.
April 3, 2008 at 1:29 am
libby
i’m excited you’ve been together 6 yrs because it means more of these stories! i love it!
April 3, 2008 at 10:24 pm
Mike
You know what I like best about this part? It’s the one where I really start to know you. I remember that first day. I remember when Michael was away. I don’t remember the crying behind a tree. Which one? I did mention that you have a gift, right?