I have never spent so long in the deodorant aisle as I did today. I went into CVS with a clear mission: must buy deodorant. Mine was running just low enough that I could see through the white onto the blue plastic and I knew it was just a matter of time before the last usable piece crumbled mid-swipe and fell to the floor.

I thought I’d avoid that scenario all together and buy a new one.

As if it wasn’t bad enough that our local CVS has recently moved things around and I can’t find anything, when I approached the deodorants I was met with an unpleasant surprise. CVS no longer carried my deodorant.

For years I’ve been using Secret Platinum with Olay Invisible Solid. I love it because it’s strong, but doesn’t dry out my skin the way Secret without Olay does. It’s perfect. And smells slightly like strawberries.

But today, it wasn’t there. How long does it take to go through a stick of deodorant? A few months? Well in that time my deodorant just up and left without a warning. No note. No goodbye. No last rendez-vous. Choosing a deodorant is like a science. You can’t pick any old one. There’s one that’s right for you and once you find it, you never let it go.

At least that’s how I am.

So there I was, alone in the aisle, picking up multiple brands and wondering what to do. There wasn’t even another woman around that I could casually ask about her wetness and odor deterrent preference. So I stood there. And pondered. And decided on a new brand. I got halfway out of the aisle before turning around and putting it back on the shelf.

Back to the Secret. Maybe I’m missing it? No. There was Secret with Olay, but it was different now. It was that clicky kind where the wet-ish deodorant comes through the slots. Hate those. Then there was regular Secret, but I know how that reacts to my skin.

Feeling defeated, I picked up the last option, a new Secret called Secret Flawless. I read the back. It seemed promising:

“If you secretly crave strong wetness protection that smells fresh and has skin conditioners, your search is over. New Secret® Flawless gives you everything you long for – all in one cutting-edge antiperspirant.

This versatile deodorant has five facets that give you a flawless performance:   

1. Strong odor & wetness protection
   2. Goes on clear
   3. Smooth, lightweight formula
   4. Self-renewing fragrances
   5. Skin-nurturing conditioners

If you are a passionate Platinum user, you will love the switch to Secret Flawless. It has your Platinum strength plus so much more.”

Well I’m not secretly craving anything —  I’m making a big ol’ stink about it. But it has the conditioners and I do like self-renewing fragrances. (But will it smell like strawberries?)

So I bought it. And then I came back to work and went onto the Secret website, only to find that my old kind is still on there. Bastards.

I’m going to the gym tonight and that will be the first test of the new deodorant. I am skeptical but an hoping to be pleasantly surprised.