I’m not an arguer. Not usually. Often when rude/racist/closed-minded/etc. comments are said around me I tend to ignore them. Not because I don’t care, but because if people really think those things, nothing I’m going to say is going to change them. I don’t agree with them and I certainly don’t condone their comments, but I don’t feel like having a debate that will just go in circles.

But sometimes I can’t keep my mouth shut. Sometimes a comment will get my heart racing and debate or no debate, I can’t stay quiet.

This happened recently, when someone made a comment about the new gay marriage law in California. I didn’t agree with what she was saying, as a matter of fact it was making my blood boil. She went on and on about the law and said, “I just don’t understand why “they” want to get married. Can’t they just stay how they are?”

I was about to say something, but thought better of it because I’ve been in circles with her before. I knew it wasn’t worth it.

But then she went ahead and opened the flood gates: “what do you think?”

What did I think?

“Why do they want to get married? Because they LOVE each other. They love each other and they want to express that in front of their family and friends.”

My heart was racing. You know me, I’m nothing if not passionate about love. I love love. I’d sing a song about it while twirling in a circle if I could.

“No, they want to get married to destroy the family unit.”

I think my head my have exploded. I took a deep breath and said I refuse to get into an argument with her, but let me just say that gay, straight, man, woman — whatever — people do not marry maliciously.

“Some do.”

What could I say? I was done. Luckily a distraction lead us away from the conversation, but I was irritated about it for hours after. Still am.

Here I am, on the verge of getting married to someone I love, entering into the institution of marriage because I can’t imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone else. Because I love him. Because I want to continue our lives together and build a family.

Just like any one else.

Out of love.

Not malice.

I started thinking about this conversation again because yesterday marked 150 days till my wedding day. 150 days until I stand in front of the people closest to me and declare my love forever to one man. Love. Marriage. Love. Marriage.

Seems simple enough to me.

I realize that not everyone reading will agree with me on this topic, and that’s OK. However, any malicious, mean-spirited or bigoted comments will be deleted immediately.

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