I’m bringing four dresses. Two for the shower, two for the bachelorette. The reason I was leaning towards the red, despite the white being bridal, is that I think the red is just more flattering. Simple as that. But of course I can’t decide for myself so tonight I’ll do a fashion show for my sister and have her pick one out. PRESSURE.

Anyway.

Did you know I’m really smell-sensitive? You probably do, considering I often discuss my disdain for B.O. and how I swear I can smell it from miles away. Michael has also taken to refusing to smell things in the fridge for me, telling me if I want to know if the shredded cheese is fresh, I better open the bag and take a wiff. I hate that.

I know exactly why I’m so freaked about body odor. I can pinpoint it to the day. In 6th grade we had a cultural food festival in school and all had to bring a dish. (I brough chocolate mousse for France, if you were wondering.) I remember sitting in the gym on the bleachers and suddenly smelling the unmistakable scent of armpit.

Ew, I thought. Who smells? I looked to my friend next to me and took a cautionary sniff. Was it her? No..

It was ME.

My sixth-grade self had forgotten to put on deodorant and OMIGOD I had B.O. I was mortified, and ran to the bathroom to do the best I could to remedy the situation with soap and paper towels.

But I never, ever made that mistake again.

I’m slightly obsessive with body cleanliness and making sure that deodorant is applied at least twice a day, three times if I go to the gym. Smelling stinky is not even a possibility.

Michael knows this. And being the wonderful man he is, likes to exploit it.

He’ll walk up to me and be like, sniff, sniff. Nose wrinkle. Sniff, sniff.

“What???? What? Do I smell? Stop it! I don’t smell! Omigod, do I smell?”

Laughter ensues. He is evil, that one.

The whole deodorant debacle seems to have worked itself out, as I have adjusted to the Secret Flawless and am finally liking the results.  That does not mean I have stopped discreetly sniffing myself periodically just to check.

Just in case I smell.

Advertisements