I always get in arguments in my local grocery store parking lot. It’s not like I seek them out, not at all. Quite the opposite. I swear, they find ME.
And they’re always with women at least 30 years my senior.
Take, for example, the woman who really, really wanted my spot. Which I would have been happy to give to her, had she left me room to back out of it. Instead, she thought it would be better to inch her car allllll the way up to my bumper, leaving her perpendicular to my vehicle with no where to go. Especially since another car pulled up behind me, boxing me in. Then, when I motioned for her to back up, she rolled down her window, shook her finger at me and yelled, “what is your problem?!”
I am the first to admit that I have a short temper. If you annoy me, you will know.
So I did what any short tempered 25-year old woman trying to get out of her parking spot would do. I yelled back at her.
“What is my problem? What is YOUR problem? I can’t give you the spot if I can’t get out of it!”
She never moved. It took a 37-point turn to get out of the spot, all while she was constantly scooting forward. Like anyone else could fit there even if they wanted to!
And then there was Monday, when after the gym I decided to grab some lunch fixings. The checkout lines were long for a Monday afternoon, so I waited quietly behind an older couple. We had no interaction, not even a shared glance, and they were out of my mind before I paid for my tomatoes.
Until I walked into the parking lot and found then parked next to me.
I backed out of the space, began to pull forward…and noticed a giant cooler blocking my path. I thought nothing of it, as the couple was clearly making space in their trunk and had sat it on the ground.
I rolled down my window and said nicely to the woman, “Hi! Do you mind moving your cooler? I don’t want to hit it.”
She turned to me slowly, looked at me with disdain and yanked her cooler out of my path. “Maybe if you learned how to drive…” she muttered.
I know I should have just rolled up my window and driven away. I know that this woman probably was in a bad mood for whatever reason and just snapped at me.
But.
I was jet lagged. I was sore. I was sweaty from the gym and I could not believe that another person was being rude to me in this parking lot.
So I snapped.
And I condescendingly called her Hunnie and then maybe something about being a bitch and I don’t know, the word ugly may have slipped out.
I am not a mean person. I swear. 99.9% of the time I am really, really nice.
Unless you cross me at the grocery store, apparently.
Then you better hold onto your frozen peas for dear life.
I apologize in advance.
34 comments
Comments feed for this article
September 10, 2008 at 10:46 am
Peter
I would have ordered some food, and a crate of Depends and had my mail forwarded to my car. There is no way in hell I would have let Cranky McOldhag have that spot.
September 10, 2008 at 11:07 am
stressedspelledbackwards
I agree with Peter! I would have sat and been a stubborn bitch about it.
September 10, 2008 at 11:16 am
Dutchess of Kickball
OMG seriously, what is it about these people who think it is ok to behave like this. These kinds of things happen to me all the time when I’m in my car.
September 10, 2008 at 11:18 am
crystall
Driving in general is just a crapshoot. Parking lots seem to be the devil though.
September 10, 2008 at 11:19 am
kristin
that is HILARIOUS. as is what peter said. and in the first case, i would totally have pulled my car BACK into the spot and waited her out all day if need be! road rage and i totally get along.
September 10, 2008 at 11:20 am
littlespoon
Seriously! Grocery Stores make everyone mean and stupid. Why is that? Weird.
September 10, 2008 at 11:26 am
Julienne
I too get the grocery store parking lot road rage (and maybe just road rage in general) when I am normally very even-keeled. I may have lost it at the grocery store manager on Monday morning when I ran in to grab laundry detergent on the way to work and grabbed one off of the top shelf where they had stacked additional bottles laying down ACROSS the lids of the bottles standing on the shelf. Needless to say there was an avalanche of detergent, which fell on ME and the FLOOR making a huge mess and soaking my pants with liquid laundry detergent. I had to go home and change and shower before work because the soap soaked right into my skin, so I now have a ruined pair of pants and a huge bruise to show for it. Yes, I’m bitter.
September 10, 2008 at 11:27 am
Jessica
I totally feel for you!
My mean spot always pops out at the train station. Is it REALLY going to matter if you cut me off so you can get on the train first? Really? Oh, and don’t even get me started on the people who don’t make room for departing passengers.
September 10, 2008 at 11:28 am
Sara
I never thought of myself as a horribly angry parker but last week after getting into a stand off with a college student from NJ (no judgment, I swear), my car got keyed. Maybe I came off a little ruder than I had indented when I said, “I will die waiting for this spot if I have to, yup, it is THAT important to me”.
September 10, 2008 at 12:12 pm
chasingparadise
For that first rude chick who was waiting for your spot, I would have pulled back in, turned my car off, and opened up a book. Just to spite her!
September 10, 2008 at 12:15 pm
budgetsavvybride
oh gawd… I would die. Or kill someone. Because I, like you, am short tempered especially when it comes to driving. There’s this four-way stop I go through everyday, at least twice- on the way to and home from work. I HATE this four-way stop because it seems no one but me paid any attention to that section in the driver’s manual. No one knows the rules! I end up flipping the bird, shaking my fist, and cursing profusely at least once a day. Road rage is an ugly thing, and I’m definitely guilty of it.
September 10, 2008 at 12:31 pm
ms. changes pants while driving
totally justified. i would have opened a book and sat there until that crazy lady backed out of my way. i hate bad drivers. it IRKS me.
September 10, 2008 at 12:36 pm
TakenGirl
Like the others, with the first lady, I totally would have pulled right back into the spot and camped out. If she’s going to be a bitch about getting the spot from me, there’s no way she’s going to get it!
September 10, 2008 at 12:56 pm
Z
This post makes me glad (for once) I don’t have a car. Because that could totally be me in your shoes…
September 10, 2008 at 1:19 pm
Mrs. S
So I always think those things but never say them! I wish I did. Kudos to you for standing up for yourself! And why is it always with women so much older? Once when Mr. S and I were going to dinner this older couple thought we stole their spot. So while Mr. S went in to see how long the wait was I sat in the car and the older lady came to the window and pounded on it and proceeded to yell at me for taking her spot. First of all I wasn’t even driving and second of all hello it’s just a parking spot. The worst part was I just said “I’m sorry.”
September 10, 2008 at 1:31 pm
seattleite
I LOVE this post. I always thought that I was the only one who encountered people like this. Good for you for standing your ground! 🙂
September 10, 2008 at 2:59 pm
JenBun
Note to self: No grocery shopping in RI. Got it. 😉
September 10, 2008 at 4:09 pm
legallyheidi
haha thats great 🙂
i get similarly frustrated/angsty in public settings. the worst is when people move slowly across the street. while jaywalking. when you’re trying to turn.
or cars who clearly aren’t watching where they’re going.
Gah i hate parking lots.
September 10, 2008 at 4:52 pm
Amber
Oh, I would totally have said something to the woman with the cooler too. And with the first one, I’d have kept the space for as long as I could stand the boredom. Yes, another one with a bit of a temper here, I’m afraid. What is WRONG with people, though? What do they get out of behaving like that?
September 10, 2008 at 4:56 pm
christine
Ah, Molly, we have ever more in common. If I’m approaching my car in a parking lot with the boys and someone stops to camp out for my spot, I make sure to take my sweet, precious time getting everyone loaded in. I change diapers (even if I changed them ten minutes earlier inside the mall). I let the boys play in the backseat before buckling them into their car seats. Then I take a few minutes to prepare a snack and a drink for everyone.
I take each item out of the stroller individually and neatly stow them in the back of the van, then take out a wipe and start cleaning the stroller trays. If the rude camper is not gone by then, I climb into my driver’s seat, buckle up, turn on the car and play some kid music, then call someone on my cell phone.
After all, the law in Washington states that you cannot drive while talking on your cell, so I’m simply fulfilling my duty as an obedient, law-abiding citizen. I never speak rudely, never make any crude gestures. But I take delicious pleasure in making every camper pay for their rudeness.
September 10, 2008 at 6:01 pm
wilddreemer
now if it were me, in the first instance i would have put my car in park got out locked up and went for a stroll still she moved.
September 10, 2008 at 8:05 pm
Kass
I’m so spiteful, for the first woman, I so would’ve just pulled straight back into the park and told the lady to go fuck herself lol. Even if it meant spending more time grocery store lol.
September 10, 2008 at 8:33 pm
Miss A
this post actually makes me like you LOL
September 10, 2008 at 9:05 pm
Essentially Me
This post is hilarious … and sometimes being a total bitch is completely called for! Good for you for speaking up. I don’t care how old you are, you are never too old to be exempt from the bitchassness attitude.
September 10, 2008 at 9:24 pm
Anna
I love the comments here, too, esp. Christine! 🙂
I actually–this is no joke–was once looking for a parking spot at this free lot that not too many people seemed to know about (no idea why I did) and a woman GOT IN THE BACK OF HER CAR, ATE LUNCH AND THEN LAID DOWN AND TOOK A NAP while I circled the lot.
And I wasn’t stalking her spot, I was circling since there were a lot of shoppers heading to cars.
No one gives up a spot there, apparently. I paid to park elsewhere.
September 11, 2008 at 3:03 am
Megan
I think you’re entitled to get angry. Everyone seems to become bitchy at the grocery store, especially older people.
September 11, 2008 at 9:57 am
DevilsHeaven
Learn how to drive? Right over your cooler? SURE!!! And I agree with everyone above. I would have put my car back in park and got on my cell. Maybe did my nails.
September 11, 2008 at 10:09 am
Rose
Why can’t we just all get along? Make love people, not war. Why can’t we just let these things roll off of our backs? In the grand scheme of things, whether or not you got a parking spot, or if someone cuts you off doesn’t matter. Who cares?
September 11, 2008 at 10:28 am
La Petite Belle
I get very upset at parking lots. For me, it’s a race. And I’m going to win it. ha!
September 11, 2008 at 10:40 am
Katie
Ha ha, that is me at the grocery store too!! Well, whenever I’m driving if I’m going to be completely honest 🙂
September 11, 2008 at 2:57 pm
Paula
I’m angry now. What’s with her accusing you of not being able to drive. “Er – well actually I COULD drive . . . IF YOU WOULD MOVE YOUR FUCKING COOLER OUT OF THE WAY DUMBASS!”
Man, i HATE people . . .
September 11, 2008 at 7:58 pm
rachelkate
“Look out FOR the blonde…” (not “of”). Right? I didn’t notice until the third time I visited today to see if you updated. 🙂
September 14, 2008 at 5:11 pm
drcorner
Sorry, not to condone what you did/said or anything, but that second story with the old lady had me rolling… 😆
We all can attest to losing it sometimes with the jerks that are out there…no biggie.
September 17, 2008 at 10:54 am
MeBeingRandom
I have road rage and it always follows me into the store! I would not under any circumstances gave that lady my spot, or I would have just backed out and hit her. 🙂