I always get in arguments in my local grocery store parking lot. It’s not like I seek them out, not at all. Quite the opposite. I swear, they find ME.

And they’re always with women at least 30 years my senior.

Take, for example, the woman who really, really wanted my spot. Which I would have been happy to give to her, had she left me room to back out of it. Instead, she thought it would be better to inch her car allllll the way up to my bumper, leaving her perpendicular to my vehicle with no where to go. Especially since another car pulled up behind me, boxing me in.  Then, when I motioned for her to back up, she rolled down her window, shook her finger at me and yelled, “what is your problem?!”

I am the first to admit that I have a short temper. If you annoy me, you will know.

So I did what any short tempered 25-year old woman trying to get out of her parking spot would do. I yelled back at her.

“What is my problem? What is YOUR problem? I can’t give you the spot if I can’t get out of it!”

She never moved. It took a 37-point turn to get out of the spot, all while she was constantly scooting forward. Like anyone else could fit there even if they wanted to!

And then there was Monday, when after the gym I decided to grab some lunch fixings. The checkout lines were long for a Monday afternoon, so I waited quietly behind an older couple. We had no interaction, not even a shared glance, and they were out of my mind before I paid for my tomatoes.

Until I walked into the parking lot and found then parked next to me.

I backed out of the space, began to pull forward…and noticed a giant cooler blocking my path. I thought nothing of it, as the couple was clearly making space in their trunk and had sat it on the ground.

I rolled down my window and said nicely to the woman, “Hi! Do you mind moving your cooler? I don’t want to hit it.”

She turned to me slowly, looked at me with disdain and yanked her cooler out of my path. “Maybe if you learned how to drive…” she muttered.

I know I should have just rolled up my window and driven away. I know that this woman probably was in a bad mood for whatever reason and just snapped at me.

But.

I was jet lagged. I was sore. I was sweaty from the gym and I could not believe that another person was being rude to me in this parking lot.

So I snapped.

And I condescendingly called her Hunnie and then maybe something about being a bitch and I don’t know, the word ugly may have slipped out.

I am not a mean person. I swear. 99.9% of the time I am really, really nice.

Unless you cross me at the grocery store, apparently.

Then you better hold onto your frozen peas for dear life.

I apologize in advance.