This weekend we attended one of the Christmas parties we go to every year. In the past, the banquet was always followed by an after-party that lasted long into the early morning hours, leaving me usually hungover or in one case, throwing up on the side of the road. Classy, I know.

But that’ s all changed. While younger guys rent out a school bus and arrive after drinking all day, we arrived fashionably late since Michael was working, and met up with friends in the parking lot, also late as they were waiting for their babysitter.

Gah, we’re so old now.

I actually don’t totally love this party, as I usually get stuck right in the middle of groups. There’s the Married with Children group and the Still in College/Single and Want to Party group. While I still love to have a good time and have recently added Married to my title, I’m still not quite on par with the mommies.

Luckily for me, this year there was a girl — a girlfriend of a guy I’ve known since freshman year of college, a guy who I always take with a grain of salt because he’s a bit of a shmoozer– who was in the same boat as me. We found each other quickly and were bonding over the shared experience of unemployment when her boyfriend walked up to me seeking out a hello hug.

As we pulled apart he held me at arms length and said, “You look phenomenal!”

Aww, well thanks! I’m really happy and I —

“You must have lost, what? Like 100 pounds?”

Now look, I know this is a compliment, but I’m a girl, remember? So if someone says that you look like you lost 100 pounds, what’s the first thing that goes through your mind? “Omigod, did I look fat before?”

Go ahead, judge, but you KNOW you’d think the same thing.

He was staring at me waiting for an answer and since I knew he was being nice I said in the most non-sarcastic tone I could muster up, “Seventeen pounds, actually, but thank you!”

“But who’s counting?” he replied, the cockiness I’ve always known in him suddenly prevalent.

“I AM.”

And it’s true. I’m damn proud of those 17 pounds lost.

So he can take his Christmas cockiness and shove it.

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