Let me tell you something about unemployment. Unless there’s a very good reason (early breakfast with friends, class at the gym (ha), promise of a soy chai the size of my head), I don’t get up as early as I used to. Nope. We’re talking at least an hour later than the good old work days.

I’m not really complaining. As it is, I’m not a morning person. At. All. As a matter of fact, I’ve been up for at least a half hour and haven’t spoken to my husband yet. He spoke to me — some random morning song that made no sense but he made it up and sang it in boxers with bed head so the cute factor was pretty high. But aside from a kiss, there’s been no real interaction yet.

Mostly because it would come out something like, “Hi, grumble, grumble, hungry! Want Starbucks, grumble, grumble, stupid rain.”

The main problem with waking up closer to the nine o’clock hour as opposed to the eight o’clock hour is that once you hit nine, 10, 11 and noon aren’t that far behind. If you’re not careful, you’ll look up from the computer at 11:30, still in your pajamas with unwashed hair, un-plucked eyebrows, yesterday’s makeup and a pile of Christmas cards to mail. (Mostly because even though you diligently went to the post office and bought 60 stamps, you will still manage to lose 15 of them somewhere between the post office and your house. First guess is they’re lying in a puddle in the parking lot of the grocery store. Sigh.) (Also, count how many people you know before ordering cards. You probably know more than you think. Not that I’m speaking for experience or anything.) (No more parenthesis.) (For real now.)

To be honest, I didn’t shower yesterday. Which may come as a shock to the lovely people I had lunch with. I’m pretty sure I didn’t smell. If I did, they were really good about hiding it.

Today, I’m going to shower. Soon, possibly after the gym, because if I sit here too long I’m going to be right back in the same old boat.

A boat that is a little disheveled, possibly not so fresh smelling and has really messy hair.