I get pretty jealous when I see a pregnant woman. It’s no secret around here that all signs point uterus and getting pregnant is something I really want to happen soon. I’d like to go off the pill. After nearly 10 years on it, I want to give my body a break and see which course nature takes us. My hopes would be it takes us towards a baby.

I don’t know when that’s going to happen. It could be next week, next month…it could be in three months. We talk about it, then we don’t, then we do again. It’s a roller coaster for me. Sometimes I’m up, others I’m down.

So you can imagine the pang I feel when I see pregnant women. I notice them everywhere now. Like when I wanted to be engaged and suddenly everyone had a rock on their finger.

So I wasn’t prepared for the reaction I had when a good friend announced her pregnancy to me. I had my suspicions for a few weeks, but when she confirmed it in person, I screamed with excitement and burst into tears.

Genuine tears of happiness. My heart swelled up and I looked at her little belly and felt just SO HAPPY for the parents-to-be. No jealousy. No why not me. Just happy. It’s not even my baby, but I fell instantly in love with it and could hug my friend all day.

I know my time as a mama-to-be will come, and I hope it comes soon. But in the meantime, I’m going to keep being happy for my friend. So very, very happy.