Oh, hi. What day is it? I’ve totally lost track, because for the last two days I’ve been in the bathroom. Painting. Our bathroom really isn’t that big, but the previous owners were huge, massive stupid heads and painted every. single. surface. blue. BRIGHT blue. Every surface. The walls. The back of the door. The trim. The window. The window slats omigod. Sixteen hours, give or take a few minutes. Because oh yeah, the only surface they didn’t paint blue? The ceiling. Which is cedar planks. Huh.

Our house is just over 100 years old, but you wouldn’t know it by looking at it. It’s been renovated over the years, but if you look closely you’ll notice that some parts of the floor or a wall aren’t quiiiite straight. Charm, right? Meh. Our next house will be much younger. Michael bought this house four years ago. I moved in a year later and the extent of our renovations have been painting over dragonfly stencils in the guest bedroom. Three years ago. We both detest painting so, well, we just lived with the BLUE bathroom and the YELLOW master bedroom (oh yes, yellow on all surfaces. I told you the previous owners were idiots. That’s the next room to be done).

Until one day, I just couldn’t live with it anymore. And I thought, how hard could it be, the painting? It’s just a small bathroom. (Que manic laughing). Two days later, I’ll tell you. It’s hard. I’ll recap that whole ordeal tomorrow when the painting tape is off the walls and I can take a picture of the new NOT BLUE bathroom.

But in the meantime, I’ll continue to prove how awesome the last owners were with a little show and tell. Of light fixtures.

Exhibit A: The dining room chandelier.

Before:

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Oh! How lovely! Brass fake candles! And only half of them worked! And the rest would flicker intermittently making you think a ghost was playing with the switch. And it looks like a spider, which is fitting, since most of the time the thing sat around collecting spiderwebs.

After:

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Thanks to my mom, a brushed nickle, fully working, non-insect, non-haunted updated chandelier. Phew.

Exhibit B: Hallway light.

Before:

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What? You’ve never seen a wooden lantern chandelier before? Aren’t they all the rage? I don’t even know where you would even buy something like this, let alone why someone would put it in their house. Although, the combination of wood, glass, copper AND chrome is quite amazing.

After:

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We had very few requirements for this seldom used light fixture. One, blend in. (Check.) Two, not look like a boob with a giant nipple. (Check. Now it’s a boob without a nipple.)

Exhibit C: Bathroom sconces.

Before:

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This one looked like a boob, actually. A long, oval boob with flower tentacles. In brass. I don’t like brass. Also, look! See the cedar ceiling? And the BLUE wall? And that most awesome medicine cabinet that no longer stayed closed so was screwed shut? Gone! GONE, GONE, GONE ALL GONE!!! (Tomorrow, I’ll show you what I found under the lamp. Oh, yes.)

After:

Um, apparently I didn’t take an after picture. But I will! For tomorrow! When I show you the new NOT BLUE bathroom!

(I think the paint fumes have gone to my head.)

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