Yesterday I decided to make microwave popcorn. Simple, right? We’ve all done it before. I had a craving for it when I was grocery shopping so I picked up a box of Newman’s Own Light Butter and headed home.

When it was popcorn o’clock, I opened up the bag, and looked to see how long I should microwave it. I couldn’t find it. Not on the bag, not on the box, nowhere.

Instead, there was some message on the packaging about  how all microwaves heat at different temperatures, so I should refer to my manual, or use the Popcorn button.


Well, here’s the thing. Our microwave is older and it doesn’t have a Popcorn button. And find the manual? For popcorn? Meh.

The last thing I wanted to do was burn the popcorn, but it’s a really tricky science, you know? Cook it to little and you end up with a bag half filled with kernels, but cook it too long and it’s charcoal city. Neither seemed appealing.

So I did the only thing I could do. Stood in front of the microwave and cooked that popcorn in 30-second intervals until I was pretty sure I had gotten it right.

I didn’t. I ended up with a lot of kernels, but I think it’s a success non the less since kernels are better than charcoal.

I then proceeded to eat the whole bag.

Yes, you really did just read a post about me microwaving a bag of popcorn. I hope your day is just a little bit better for it.