I’ve always had weird and vivid dreams, but there’s nothing more potent than the dream serum called pregnancy hormones. Every night I have at least two dreams that are so specific and detailed that I think about them most of the day.

Last night I dreamt that I was witness to a drive-by shooting, and spent most of the dream running through a city to avoid the car that was trying to find me. I woke up out of breath! (This can also be because I still can’t breathe out of my stuffy nose and as things move around and more pressure is put on my diaphragm, I’m slightly short of breath occasionally. Fun!)

Then I dreamt that I was a producer on The Real Housewives of Orange County and let me tell you, the drama is REAL. Gretchen was dating some guy I went to college with (??) and everyone was really upset because it looked like they were going to have just the best relationship in the world. Tamera was jealous and wanted to sabotage it.

We, the producers, put together this incredibly cheesy video montage of Gretchen and her man set to horrible music. They were laughing and rollerblading, lunching in the park and holding hands. I don’t think I’d make a very good producer.

Then — cut to a mansion, where Slade is PISSED and threatening to walk off the show if he doesn’t get enough air time. He’s storming from room to room and as he reaches the door to the outside, a fellow producer tells him if he walks out, he’s done.

And he does it! Drama!

Then Gretchen comes chasing after him because she realizes that she either loves him, or she won’t be able to support her lifestyle without him. College guy is left holding a sweat band as the camera zooms in on a discarded Rollerblade, the wheel slowly spinning.

I woke up and told Michael, who thinks I officially watch too much television.

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