I’m a little behind, as today is actually the beginning of my 21st week of pregnancy. Which means I’ve officially passed the halfway mark.

I’ve spent the last few weekly updates gushing, so this week I thought I’d share with you the stranger side of pregnancy. Pregnancy, I’ve discovered, is sometimes like one big science experiment. I go to bed each night wondering what tomorrow will bring, and wake up to things I’ve never experienced before.

Like this week:

Baby hiccups. I felt them for the first time last night and it actually made me laugh out loud all alone in my quiet house. He was right under my rib cage and it felt like what I imagine the heart ofย a small animal to feel like after it’s run away from a predator. It lasted a minute or so, and then he must have moved so I didn’t feel it anymore. But it was such a strange feeling!

Bra size. Well, hello, ladies. I always knew this would happen, as it’s such a normal part of pregnancy, but I guess I just didn’t expect for it to happen as quickly as it did. My band size has gone from a 34 to a 38 and I’m hoping that maybe, just maybe, the growth will taper off a little. Am I just kidding myself?

Gas. Look, I’m being honest here, OK? Pregnancy gas is like none other I’ve ever experienced. And it’s not like normal gas that you can demurely hold in, then shuffle off discreetly to release. No, pregnancy gas is a monster that will attack you without warning, and leave your husband clambering away from you as fast as possible in search of fresh air.

It doesn’t really seem to be related to what I eat, because be it beans or a cracker, the results are the same. The results are gross. I’m so sorry, friends and family.

Unwanted attention. I’ve actually really enjoyed the recent attention the bump as brought on, because it assures me that I actually look pregnant and that’s fun. However, yesterday I experienced what I had only heard of up to that point: an unwanted touch.

I was at the grocery store and the cashier, a woman about my mom’s age, commented “What a cute bump!” I thanked her and we chit chatted as I unloaded my cart. And then, just as I was standing up straight from picking up the chicken…there she was. Patting my stomach. Just reached right over the conveyor and patted me.

It happened so quickly and then she went back to talking, so I didn’t have time to process what had happened. It was weird — I know she meant well and was just excited for me, but…I don’t know her. She’s not even a regular cashier and see and chat with often. It just felt like an invasion of personal space.

Maybe I’ll start walking up to strangers and patting their bellies. What do you think?

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