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It was one of those days. Instead of going back to sleep easily after his 3:30 a.m. wake up, O was fussy and the house was so chilly that I didn’t want to sit up in the glider any longer. I brought him into bed with us, where he fussed on and off until after 5. Tired, cranky and cold (if Michael is covered and O is in the correct position to both nurse lying down and not be smothered by the comforter, I’m decidedly NOT covered.), I finally passed him off to Michael closer to six.

Later in the morning, it was a plethora of exploding diapers and spit up. So much spit up. I blamed his messy tummy on my decision to eat chili the night before. I should know better, beans don’t sit well with him.

We had a lunch date with a friend, but she had to push it back a little and we were approaching nap time. I didn’t want to reschedule, but I had a feeling he wouldn’t be the best lunch companion. I was right. As my friend tried to tell me about her life, my baby fussed; refusing all his usual distractions and alternating between hurling himself into my neck, and pinching it really hard with his little fingers.

I felt embarrassed. The lunch crowd was mostly college students and I stuck out like a sore thumb. I could hear myself apologizing over and over for his behavior, even though I knew I had no reason to. Five month olds aren’t going to be reasoned with, you know. When the meltdown began to escalate, I began to gather up our belongings — including Christmas presents my friend had so thoughtfully brought (something I had wanted to do in return, but had forgotten) — and cut our lunch short after just a half hour. She was understanding, but I felt bad.

Within minutes of leaving, he was asleep in the car…no surprise there. Thinking I had a window, I figured I would take the opportunity to take care of some business at the bank. I parked, opened the door, and popped out his seat. But the minute he felt the cold air he awoke SCREAMING and could not be consoled. I had no choice but to turn around and leave before even getting past the vestibule.

We arrived home, and he was happy as a clam. Of course. We played a bit before settling into bed for a rest. I caught up on some TV while he napped for a blessed two hours, and when he awoke, we had a fun evening playing together. A nice end to a rough day.

Yesterday the seesaw tipped and I lost my balance, landing ass-first in the dirt. Today, I’m going to brush myself off and jump back on.

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