– Being a parent makes me both love and hate the internet. Especially when it comes to comparisons of children. On one hand, it’s fun to talk to people with kids around the same age as you. You can share excitement over milestones, or commiserate over the hardships. But as one friend and I recently discussed, you’ll also want to reach into the screen and throttle people, no matter how lovely they are. Case in point: people whose children have been fabulous sleepers since they emerged from the womb.

I really, truly dislike those people.

No, that’s not true. I’m actually just really jealous of them. Some of my favorite internet people have babies that just love to sleep.

Owen took a long time to become a decent sleeper, but when the known sleep regressions hit, he takes to them very, very hard. Four months. Nine-ish months. Looking back, I remember a bleary haze of sleepless nights, but I guess my brain’s way of coping with it is to make me (mostly) forget how bad it was. Which is probably why I didn’t even think that could be the culprit when all of the sudden, Owen is awake at least twice a night, usually for at least an hour. And — of course — always between like 3-4. IN THE A.M.

It wasn’t until fellow mother Candice reminded me of the pesky R-word and lo and behold, it made sense. Another sleep regression. Caused most likely by new developments like learning how to walk. Added to the pain (literally) of having giant teeth push through his gums. I headed over to my favorite mom-advice site, and the dear Ask Moxie of course had a whole post about the 13-month sleep regression. While it offered no solutions, only an “I’ve been there” shoulder to lean on, it least it gave me hope that there is a light at the end of this long, sleepy tunnel, and we will emerge from it virtually unscathed as we have in the past.

In the meantime, I need an I.V. of caffeine immediately. Hell, stick it in my eyeball, maybe it will get into my system faster. (Have you heard about kids putting vodka in their eyeballs to get drunk quicker? Seriously? This part of parenting gives me anxiety. Am I really going to have to sit Owen down and say, “Now son, putting vodka INTO YOUR EYEBALLS is probably not a smart idea.”????)

– I’m thinking of taking my first outfit photo today. If I do, you have to promise not to laugh at the giant circles under my eyes. I mean it.

– I need a good book to read. Suggest one, will you?

– Bullet points are fun. Especially when you don’t have much to say.

– Owen just woke up from his nap. When I went upstairs he was pointing at his butt, letting me know he had pooped. Quite handy. Now if only he would surprise me and just sit on the toilet. At one year old, that would be REALLY surprising.

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