I was talking with my friend the other day about how this pregnancy is different from my first. I told her that this one just…is. I don’t know if it’s actually an easier pregnancy than with Owen (a peek into my archives tells me that at this point last time, I was really uncomfortable and up a few times a night, which isn’t really the case this time), or if the little nuances of pregnancy are familiar now and go mostly unnoticed.
I’m calmer this time. When I had early spotting, just like last time, I didn’t freak out. Aches and pains and the occasional dizzy spell don’t send me running to the internet to Google a specific symptom paired with a specific week of pregnancy.
The awesome parts – the movement and the kicks and jabs, the belly that just keeps getting bigger, Owen kissing my belly and telling me that brother is growing, the love and adoration from Michael (I really couldn’t ask for a better husband when it comes to being pregnant. He may joke about my size sometimes, but he truly makes me feel beautiful and womanly) – those parts are the same. And I appreciate that.
I have new fears this time. I worry about how Owen will transition, what will happen if my labor is quick and I’m home alone, whether or not my family will arrive in time for the birth. I fear not labor and delivery, but recovery while parenting a toddler.
I worry about the lack of sleep and the post partum blues, and being the best mother I can to two children while working through the first tough weeks.
So, it’s the same, this pregnancy, but it’s different. And with only 16 weeks to go, it feels like it’s flying by.