Pick My Party Dress…Again!

Last time I did this you guys really helped me out. So I’m enlisting you again. I have a wedding to go to next month and I’m tired of wearing the same black dress over and over again. (Also, it’s getting too big on me. Woo!) It’s time to bite the bullet and spend a little money so I can look good on the dance floor.

#1 – I love the color and the neckline. I think it’s a flattering cut and the faux wrap is very forgiving. But is the dress to plain?

 

#2 – An unexpected color and the detailing around the neck is pretty.

 

#3 – In navy — a change from the basic black. But too dark for April?

 

#4 – I’m a sucker for blue and the print is fun.

 

#5 – OK, yes, I know, it’s another little black dress. But this one looks so pretty!

#6 – Although the color is actually called “Sterling”, I think it’s too close to white to wear to a wedding. But what about for my rehearsal dinner?

Ready? Discuss.

All dresses are from Nordstrom. Your credit cards can thank me later.

Highs and Lows

High: It’s Wednesday, which means the week is half over and Clink visits in two days.

Low: It’s only Wednesday, which means only half the week is over and I only have two days to clean the house before Clink visits.

High:The gym and I are total BFFs. We meet up for drinks five times a week minimum.

Low: Damn you, triceps machine and your ability to make me almost grunt. (Which you know I hate!) We will meet again tonight you evil bastard.

High: All this gym has made the majority of my clothes fit better, except for my pants which are mostly all too big. Woo!

Low: My pants are too big. Which means that except for the first 20 minutes out of the dryer, they’re saggy and loose. And with the wedding only, omigod, eight months away, I really can’t afford to be spending money on new pants.

High: I’m getting married in eight months!

Low: I’m getting married in eight months. There is SO much to do. Yesterday I went to set up a room block at a local hotel, but when I got there I was informed that the woman behind the desk could not help me. Doug, the group guy, could help me. But Doug wasn’t there. Doug will be in today. After 10. I have to speak to Doug.

High: I’m wearing a cute shirt today.

Low: I just noticed that the layer I have underneath it is inside out.

 Sigh.

Inner Monologue: Gym Addition

Lying in bed:

“Get up. Get up, get up, get up. Yes, that first digit on the clock is a six. It doesn’t matter. Must. Get. Up. That’s it, one foot out from under the covers. Ignore the sleeping boy next to you! Do not be dragged in my his warmth and sexy tousled bed head. Well, maybe just five more minutes. Mmm the down comforter is so nice and the pillow so soft and…MOLLY GET UP. It is the Year of the Bride. You have no excuse to not be in that gym. Go.

OK. Up. Good. This isn’t so bad. Ready to go and, oh. Hi, Kodiak. You have to go out? You can’t wait a little bit? Of course you can’t, what am I thinking. Sorry, baby. Alright, let’s go. Leash, hat, Michael’s big coat. All set. Holy CRAP it’s cold. Thirteen degrees? Are you kidding me? I better start the car or it will never defrost in time. Kodiak, no. You cannot go in Mom’s car. Stop it. Seriously, dog. Stop it.

Good boy! You peed. Now poop. No, don’t sniff the tree, poop. Stop looking at the ducks, it’s cold. Please poop. No? OK, we’re going in. Dad can take you out later. Yes, yes, I know there are ducks. Please stop looking at me forlornly. Some of us don’t have a built-in fur coat.”

At the gym:

“I made it. Wow, is that really the time? It’s early. Wow! I weigh two pounds less in the morning. Sweet! Hi, Jen! Yes, I didn’t want to get out of bed either. Did you know it’s 13 degrees? Good morning, elliptical.  This is probably the cleanest you’ll be all day. Let’s go!

Oh, In Touch, you make the workout so much easier. Is it bad I feel a little smug that I’m sweating up a storm while Britney stuffs her face? Nah, you’re working it, girl. You’re fit! And healthy!

And…wow. Tired. Really tired. And my legs are sore. And, huh. What do you know? It’s time to go home.”

Back at home:

“Hi, Kodiak! Oh man, Dad is still sleeping? OK…let’s try to poop again. Seriously, dog. I mentioned it was cold, right? I’m beginning to think this was just a ploy to see the ducks again. We’re going in.”

While getting ready:

“OK, I thought about this in the shower. Turtleneck. Check. Textured stockings. Check. Need skirt. What about this one? No, Michael, this is not a new skirt, I just haven’t taken the tags off yet. Not sure, not sure. Too long? Yes. New skirt. Yes! I like this skirt. But which shoes? Am thinking the slouchy boots. Do they go with this skirt? Yes, they do. But isn’t it supposed to rain? I don’t remember. Why does this feel like a deja vu? Alright, no slouchy boots. Purple heels. Yessss. Love the purple heels. Time for work!

Wait, only 8:45? I think it’s going to be a long day…”

Inner Monologue

While getting ready:

“What to wear, what to wear. Pants or skirt? Skirt! Yes, I’ll wear a skirt. How about my new Ralph Lauren one? Perhaps with a black top. Which top is clean? Oh, the one with the puffy sleeves. I don’t know if that works with the skirt. Will try it on. OK… not bad, but not great either. Maybe with slouchy boots? No. Not with slouchy boots. Skirt is too long for slouchy boots. Forget the skirt. What about the red dress? For today’s holiday party. So festive! Hmm…too sexy for work? How about with the slouchy boots? NO. Not with the slouchy boots. Look like a festive office ho.

I really want to wear the slouchy boots. Maybe with jeans? Where are those skinny jeans? Omigod I will never fit in those. Will give it a try anyway. Ah! They fit! But are skinny. Well, they are skinny jeans. Ok, with the black top and the slouchy boots. Oh girl, you cannot pull off this look. Boots over jeans? You look stupid. Take them off. But wait, it’s trendy. Am cute! Am cute? Ehhh….

OK! New skirt. With heels. And…NO. Damn it. It’s the top. Stupid puffy sleeves. Jeans, yes. With…what? White sweater. With slouchy boots? NO! Stop it. Seriously, put the boots away.

White sweater, dark jeans, brown heels. Done. Wow…look at the bed. That’s a lot of clothes. No time to put away, must do hair.

Up? Down? Half-up! With headband! It’s 9:30 ah!”

At work:

“Stupid outfit. I hate you. And why am I shedding all over the place? Don’t anorexics lose their hair? Clearly, I am not an anorexic, as I have already consumed half of my daily clementine allotment and let’s not even talk about the brownie batter last night. Or the ridiculous amount of food I’m going to eat at the holiday party today.

Does this outfit leave room for a food baby?

Ugh, I should have worn the puffy shirt.

And maybe the slouchy boots.”

Pick My Party Dress

In 18 days my entire office flies to Vegas for a week. The first few days are fun days, followed by working at the biggest trade show in the world. The company is also celebrating its 10-year anniversary with a big party in a big suite in a big hotel. Which is awesome. Except for the fact that I need a party dress. My boss will be wearing one that was featured in Us Weekly so yeah, we have to look good. Let’s discuss.

Dress #1. I’m digging the ruffles, but I’m afraid the bow will be all, “hey! Look at me! Sitting on hips!” I do, however, think it’s a cool twist on a classic black dress.

 

Dress #2. Love the color, love the wrap around the bust, love the length. Only concern is that the straps may be too skinny and would require a strapless bra. Ew.

 

Dress #3. I think the pattern on the bottom is fun and I love the belt. But it may not be dressy enough and my arms don’t look as good as hers.

 

Dress #4. The new Audrey dress. So classic, so sophisticated. So…predictable?

I could hide out under there…

I just made you say Underwear.

Underwear, yes. Can we talk about that, please? Because I’m having a serious issue with mine today. I wore a dress, and instead of going the traditional thong route–as I usually do when wearing a dress made from jersey material–I decided to wear boy shorts.

I always have the highest hopes for boy shorts. In theory, they’re fantastic. They’re a comfortable alternative to a thong, promise no panty lines and don’t leave you picking something out of your crack all day.

That’s what they want you to believe. Yes, they.

These damn boy shorts have done nothing but ride up all day long. Yes, I have no VPLs (Visible Panty Lines), but I would sacrifice that for a floss-free afternoon.

So I ask you, my faithful friends and readers, for help. You haven’t steered me wrong before. Is there such a thing as a perfect boy short?

And if so, where can I find it?

What Not to Wear

While taking a walk around the grounds I noticed three couples that were wearing matching outfits.

Couple #1: Black polos, jeans, sneakers. Child’s outfit did not match the parents’.

Couple #2: Green tee-shirts (one sage green, one lime green…ugh), khaki shorts, brown sandals.

Child was wearing a striped green shirt.

Couple # 3: Bright Orange shirts. Woman in a tee-shirt, man in a tank top. Black shorts. Baby in an orange onesie, completing the pumpkin patch.

Is this normal? Do these couples discuss what they’re going to wear ahead of time or is this something that comes with being in a couple. Do Michael and I dress alike and not even know it?

The Great Pumpkin family could not have been an accident.

What would Stacey and Clinton say?!