So, that last unemployment payment I was talking about? Was apparently yesterday. After I used the online claim system and answered all the required questions, I was notified by an overly-perky computerized woman that this was my FINAL payment and in order to try and get the extension, I would have to call the Department of Labor and Training.

As of right now, I’ve had 45 minutes of a busy signal, finally got through to the menu and have now been on hold for 25 minutes and 54…55…56…seconds.

I’m pretty sure I’ve memorized the Voice of Unemployment after six months of calling in. He sounds like he’s in his mid-40s or so and wishes he was doing anything but the recordings that slowly drain the hope from people like me. If I ever heard his voice in public, it would probably trigger some repressed rage and I would jump on him screaming “45 minutes of JUST A BUSY SIGNAL!!!!”

Every 10 seconds or so he informs me that all agents are busy and my call will be answered in the order it was received. I’m pretty sure all the agents are just drinking coffee and catching up on their weekend while their call light flashes over and over again.

After this lovely morning, I better get the extension!

To pass the time, I’m watching A Baby Story and omigod, you guys. Last night I watched a new show on MTV — 16 and Pregnant — and was horrified. Horrified! The girl profiled was riding a dirt bike with just weeks before her due date, her belly all huge and bouncing on the back of her boyfriend’s bike and I wanted to jump through the screen, grab her and say “Stop it! You are SHAKING THE BABY!”

Then she had the baby and named it Bentley. Like the car.

33 minutes on hold…