I think I have a mild case of post-wedding depression. Or maybe it’s post-fall/early-winter depression. Either way, I got it.
I was convinced I would not be one of those brides that became all woe is me after the big day. In fact, I was really looking forward to not having to worry about planning or vendors or all the little headaches that came with planning a party for 133 people. I was excited to bask in the post-wedding glow and just enjoy spending uninterrupted time with my husband.
But then the Post-ness hit. And it hit hard.
First, there was the eating. I am a firm believer in advice from past brides that say you will lose weight the two weeks before your wedding without even trying. For me, this was a true statement. Want to know the last time I went to the gym? I CANNOT REMEMBER. Seriously. I think it was early September. The last time I weighed myself was the day before the wedding and the scale flashed a number I had not seen since high school.
I wasn’t trying to achieve this — please believe me. I actually think I may have a hit a number too low for my height. However, those last two weeks, between all I had to do and the happy/nervous tummy I had, food just wasn’t a top priority.
That has all changed. Ask me what I’ve been doing in the two weeks since the wedding and I have one clear answer for you. EATING.
Everything. Mainly, things I haven’t eaten in a year. Like carbs. And ice cream. And chocolate covered wafer cookies by the handful.
I am grossing myself out.
I need a hobby. Any suggestions? Everyone says knitting or scrapbooking, to which I say, clearly, you don’t know me very well.
Shopping? I wish. All that wedding money is merely an illusion, as most of it is for grownup things like Savings Accounts and New Bed and Credit Cards and Future Family.
I’m in a post-wedding rut, people, and I don’t know how to dig myself out. Consoling myself with the jar of peanut butter on my desk is probably not the best option.
Any ideas?
40 comments
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November 10, 2008 at 10:39 am
littlespoon
Unfortunately? Time. It was the only cure for my post funk. I do promise that it goes away.
November 10, 2008 at 10:42 am
Clio
Exercise? I know, duh, but it will keep you happy and glowy and will work off the extra calories, too. Or more sex?
November 10, 2008 at 10:42 am
Natasha
Volunteering!
November 10, 2008 at 10:42 am
Jessica
Be a volunteer! The holidays are coming up so a lot of places need extra help.
November 10, 2008 at 10:47 am
Heidi Renée
Do you have your professional pictures yet? My photographer sent us a preview batch a few days after our wedding. I looked at them obsessively and felt way better to still have something “wedding” to do. I also kept very detailed spreadsheets of all our expenses and gifts received/thank you notes sent, so those kept me busy for about a month post-wedding.
The funk will pass, but the wedding bug might not. Eleven months after my wedding, I’m jonesing for my little sister to meet a nice man so I can get to work planning her wedding.
And I have gained 15-20 pounds since ours. Gross. 😦
November 10, 2008 at 10:48 am
Rahat
Sounds obvious but a great hobby is to get into the habit of running a few times a week. You’ll feel great about yourself and you’ll look great too. If running is not your thing, maybe get yourself into doing yoga.
November 10, 2008 at 10:48 am
Elizabeth
Online shoe window shopping. It’s not going to help with the exercise thing, but it is fun.
November 10, 2008 at 10:49 am
lily
Hmmm… I have a jar of PB on my desk just staring at me too… I agree that yoga is a great option – you’ll feel amazing and it’s great for you. That’s one way I plan to keep my spirits up as the cold, gray winter sets in here in Minnesota…
November 10, 2008 at 10:56 am
heather wendling
Cooking? Great chance to use some of the new kitchen items and inviting friends over for dinner is always fun. No vendors!
November 10, 2008 at 10:58 am
Each
GO out with ME!!!!!
(lots-ly)
we will have to make da plans…
November 10, 2008 at 11:09 am
DevilsHeaven
Thank you Molly! I thought I was the only one who felt like, “Now what?” And honestly, I also kinda feel like, “This is it?” I love F, I love being able to say “your wife” and be referring to myself, but other than that, NOTHING HAS CHANGED. And for me, that’s kinda a bummer. I guess there is something to be said for not living with each other beforehand.
As for something to do? Simply get out of the house. Be it going to the gym, or shopping, or volunteering, just a walk around the block, it makes a huge difference and gets those synapes firing. Maybe take a long weekend and get away. I know you did a mini-moon like we did, but maybe you really needed more time to recharge.
November 10, 2008 at 11:09 am
dreamgrrl
oh Honey, remember my post about this? It happens — and then just like that, it’ll go away. one day you’ll wake up and be over it. I promise! I was just there, and i’m out of the woods. Soon you’ll return to your old self and laugh at this. (one day) I promise! Don’t worry. And honestly, eat what you want – you worked hard at being skinny & you deserve a little reward, and when you’re ready to work out again, you will!
November 10, 2008 at 11:22 am
Dutchess of Kickball
Sounds like you need some serious Shoeru projects!
November 10, 2008 at 11:42 am
crystall
Going back to the gym will probably help a lil. Or, you know, you can always get a puppy =D
November 10, 2008 at 11:47 am
Viviane
Well, what did you do before you started planning your wedding? Maybe you can get back into a gym routine. I also like running (someone else mentioned it), and I have to admit I prefer running during this season to running in the summer. Cook dinners with your husband or with friends (or for them). That’s something I enjoy doing (cooking with friends, seeing as I don’t have a husband or boyfriend). Learn a new language or read books to try to learn more about a topic you don’t know much about yet. All winter/cold-compatible (except for the running, unless you do it inside).
November 10, 2008 at 12:16 pm
emmaelizabeth
photography, music, painting, cooking classes, volunteering, reading/book clubs, etc
🙂
November 10, 2008 at 12:46 pm
Melissa
I made myself a priority. Which meant – getting back to the gym, doing things I wanted to do, taking a Spanish class, taking yoga, taking tennis lessons, spending more time with my friends (which I hadn’t been doing much before the wedding). Also, doing a little more decorating with the house – putting up artwork, etc. You’ll find your hobby, activity, whatever, but you might have to experiment a little.
November 10, 2008 at 1:00 pm
Sassafras
I too was looking forward to the wedding being over but the damn blues got me. At first I didn’t think it was the wedding but then it became clear that maybe it wasn’t the wedding necessarily but more of a re-look at my life and now what? Now what do I do, what do we do?
There was nothing that made it go away but time. God speed.
November 10, 2008 at 1:52 pm
molly's mom
1. pilates…. on a regular basis
2. yoga classes….seriously
3. finally pursue that dance class you should be taking
4. break out all that new cookware and cookbooks and master some really amazing recipes…and think healthy
5. work on your writing
6. grad school
7. start posting more wanting/wearing and i think it’s about time for another addition of “makes my feet hurt”
8. …..*visit your mom*……
❤
November 10, 2008 at 2:28 pm
Anna
Totally agree with your mom on all of the above
Plus:
1. Do some freelance writing–for me or elsewhere.
2. Come have lunch! I still haven’t had the lobster mac & cheese. I know!
3. Advise me on finding a bride or two in the next season to give wedding photography a serious try. And no, your wedding is not a good example, since I had enjoyed a few glasses of wine and the company of your lovely guests! 🙂
November 10, 2008 at 2:28 pm
Anna
There is the whole baby option, too. I’m just saying! 🙂
November 10, 2008 at 2:36 pm
Kate
Try a 101 in 1,001 – that’s what I’ve done. It’s a great three year plan that should get you out of your slump. I’ve posted mine on my blog, if you’d like an example. 🙂
November 10, 2008 at 3:11 pm
Beth
Write a book! I think I remember reading on here at some point that you wanted to, right? I would love to read a book written by you!
November 10, 2008 at 3:26 pm
tina
Don’t ask me. I am eating my second Vienna Beef Hot Dog on a poppy seed bun and order of fries as I read this post.
November 10, 2008 at 3:47 pm
La Petite Belle
i think it’s totally normal- i would suggest trying new “married gal” things, get all housewife-y, i loved doing those things when i got married. (ask me if i still love doing those things 6 years later and the answer would be NOO. ha!)
November 10, 2008 at 5:42 pm
Dani
I think your mom said it best, but…try not to undo all the hard work you put into losing the weight. you looked utterly fantastic, but get back into a routine. It’s the best thing you can do. Now that there isn’t a wedding to plan for, definitely get back into your writing! I bet the thought of just going back to the gym is awful, but take some classes to ease back into it! Or just get a hershey bar and dip it into icing ’94 style! 🙂
November 10, 2008 at 5:48 pm
erin
Since I’ve been done with school and thesising I don’t know what to do with my time, especially since once I’m done with work at 5, I’m done! No books to read, papers to write, nothing else I should be doing that I’m ignoring and I’m trying to find things to do as well.
I’m getting back into running, cooking (baking has become my new favourite thing), and knitting. When I move back to the states I plan on volunteering and getting back into scrapbooking. See if there are any groups or something you can get involved with and that way you get to meet new people and get out of the house.
And peanut butter isn’t the worst thing you could be consoling yourself with!
November 10, 2008 at 7:24 pm
adriana
Plan a holiday party? Lower key, but still some planning required.
Oh, and all of the above, too.
November 10, 2008 at 8:12 pm
Peter DeWolf
I agree with your wise and lovely mom. You should work on a big writing project.
November 10, 2008 at 8:40 pm
Julie
I agree with your mom, and also, consider cleaning/organizing. Getting your space in good shape always helps me get the energy up for getting myself in better shape.
The writing idea is good, and I know what you can write – a guide to putting together a terrific wedding!
November 10, 2008 at 10:51 pm
KT
Ideas:
1. book club
2. volunteer
3. join a sports league
November 11, 2008 at 9:16 am
newlywedstilettos
Girlfriend, I can relate to this!!
I told myself the exact same thing – that I wouldn’t be THAT bride. Well, I don’t think you have a choice. You just go from living a hundred miles a minute to a slower normal life…and that takes a while to get used to!
My suggestion is working out. Yes, I know…it SUCKS. I am not a gym fanatic what so ever…I rather cuddle up under the covers and eat ice cream!! BUT, after the wedding I found that taking a brisk walk, run, jog…let me burn off some stress, anxiety, anxiousness or just weird energy that I didn’t know what to do with! We just spent the past months leading up to our weddings teaching our brain to constantly be in busy mode!! Now we have to train it to go back into normal mode!
You will be fine…the holidays will be here soon and that makes everyone feel good 🙂
November 11, 2008 at 9:32 am
your mom
oh…..i forgot one more….
belly dancing.
really.
November 11, 2008 at 10:04 am
gibsondog
Take a class in something you are interested in learning more about. It could be a cooking, philosophy, ancient writing, web design… anything! I love taking classes for the simple reason of setting time for myself.
🙂
November 11, 2008 at 10:34 am
Rachel
I don’t have any suggestions, but I’m afraid this will happen to me too. I’ve heard so many people that go through this same thing. UGH!!
November 11, 2008 at 12:18 pm
jen
Melissa, your mum, and others are right– think about yourself and set a new personal goal. you’ve got all of these new organizational skills that planning and putting on a wedding requires you to learn. put them to use!
November 11, 2008 at 3:52 pm
stealthnerd
I would paint…there’s no real skill required there. I mean, buy a canvas and some paints and just see what happens. It doesn’t have to be Van Gogh when you’re done and it could be a fun hobby for you and the hubby. Plus, you’ve solved some of your decorating dilemmas.
November 12, 2008 at 2:30 pm
JenBun
Write a book, woman!
Yoga?
November 13, 2008 at 12:11 pm
La Petite Chic
It’s a true testament as to how much I like you because I dare say I still have a slight case of the post-wedding blues…2 years later!! I avoid most wedding blogs and websites and shows because they make me feel a twinge of longing for my own, but it was totally worth it to read all about yours 🙂
Don’t worry, in a few years, you can put all of that energy into baby fever, as I have done 🙂 Hee hee!
November 15, 2008 at 6:30 am
FuriKuri
I’m afriad I’m in same the boat and sadly have no words of advice to offer. However reading everyone’s comments has cheered me up a bit. If you find a solution that works for you though, please let me know!