Yesterday I decided to make microwave popcorn. Simple, right? We’ve all done it before. I had a craving for it when I was grocery shopping so I picked up a box of Newman’s Own Light Butter and headed home.
When it was popcorn o’clock, I opened up the bag, and looked to see how long I should microwave it. I couldn’t find it. Not on the bag, not on the box, nowhere.
Instead, there was some message on the packaging about how all microwaves heat at different temperatures, so I should refer to my manual, or use the Popcorn button.
Huh.
Well, here’s the thing. Our microwave is older and it doesn’t have a Popcorn button. And find the manual? For popcorn? Meh.
The last thing I wanted to do was burn the popcorn, but it’s a really tricky science, you know? Cook it to little and you end up with a bag half filled with kernels, but cook it too long and it’s charcoal city. Neither seemed appealing.
So I did the only thing I could do. Stood in front of the microwave and cooked that popcorn in 30-second intervals until I was pretty sure I had gotten it right.
I didn’t. I ended up with a lot of kernels, but I think it’s a success non the less since kernels are better than charcoal.
I then proceeded to eat the whole bag.
Yes, you really did just read a post about me microwaving a bag of popcorn. I hope your day is just a little bit better for it.
These Little Moments 
26 comments
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November 12, 2009 at 11:45 am
Jen
Well, that is too weird, because the exact same thing happened to me yesterday. The microwave was included with the house we bought and there is no chance that the manual exists anywhere. Our ‘wave does have a Popcorn button, but then I bought the snack-size bags, and ended up with a charcoal city bag o’ grossness last night. So I’m going to have to do some more research on this.
Also, best snack ever that sounds gross…popcorn dipped in maple syrup…so gooood.
November 12, 2009 at 11:58 am
tipperella
Try this next time…wait until you can count to 2 between pops and then you know it’s done. You may end up with a few too many kernels, but it’s better than burned popcorn. I do this even when they tell you the time since every microwave is different.
November 12, 2009 at 12:01 pm
Nikki
The rule of thumb I was alway taught is to put the popcorn in the microwave (on high) for 6 minutes which will be more than enough time. Then listen to the popcorn popping. When there is 3 quiet seconds between pop, your popcorn will be done. Take it out of the microwave and immediately shake the bag before opening. It always works for me, provided I don’t get distracted. Which I frequently do.
November 12, 2009 at 12:07 pm
Ashley
Too funny! I did the same thing Sunday night. I bought some Boy Scout popcorn and it said to microwave it for 2 minutes. Now, I thought that sounded a little strange, but who am I to question the perpetually-prepared Boy Scouts? So I put it in for the allotted 2 minutes, and nothing had even popped by the time the bell dinged! What’s a girl to do? Face the popcorn gods and keep popping? Well, that’s what I decided to do. I ended up doing exactly what you did: popping in 30 second increments and praying to the popcorn gods to not burn my kernels. It was a stressful few minutes, but that buttery goodness made it worth it! : ) Cute story, thanks for sharing!
November 12, 2009 at 12:07 pm
Nicole
I swear there should be a class for heating up popcorn. I agree with Nikki, turn the microwave on high for several minutes and listen to the popcorn, that usually does the trick!
Burnt popcorn is one of the worst smells that linger in a kitchen for hours…ick.
November 12, 2009 at 12:43 pm
Ris
Mmm popcorn with Splenda on it tasted just like Kettle Corn, but a low-fat version.
November 12, 2009 at 1:13 pm
Patience Krueger
Love it!! Girl you may need to get out of the house for a bit, lol
November 12, 2009 at 1:24 pm
Jessie
Jordan and I just bought a new old-school pop corn popper as our last one broke not too long ago.
Love it!
November 12, 2009 at 2:02 pm
Jackie
MmMmmm now I want popcorn!!
November 12, 2009 at 2:05 pm
bing
Burnt popcorn is the worst. I think for the snack bags, you go for about 1-1.5 minutes, for a regular bag do 2.5-3 minutes. Then I recommend staying near the microwave and waiting until the popping slows down. Once there are only pops every few seconds take it out.
An old roommate one time cooked popcorn so long that it actually caught on fire and burnt the microwave. Our apartment stunk for days – and the mic had a nice black stain inside. Lesson – never leave popcorn unattended! 🙂
November 12, 2009 at 2:10 pm
Megan/SomewhatVoluble
I usually put it in for about 2.5 minutes. Whenever there are gaps of a couple seconds between each “pop,” I take it out (whether the time is up or not).
November 12, 2009 at 2:12 pm
Rachel
Oh no…a bag without a number of minutes to cook it! That’s crazy!! I would go with some of the recommendations above next time! 🙂
November 12, 2009 at 3:23 pm
Peter DeWolf
Popcorn button? What kind of witchcraft is that?
It’s like a vibrator having a “French gigolo” setting.
Actually it’s nothing like that. I just haven’t commented in a while and wanted to be scaaaandalous.
November 12, 2009 at 4:31 pm
Kim
Chica, the Popcorn button on my microwave is one of the best inventions ever. It’s magical. In my pre-popcorn-button days, I seem to remember 2:30 being the magic number for perfect popcorn…but of course, that varies by microwave.
November 12, 2009 at 8:56 pm
Kez
Hahaha. I had no idea new microwaves have a popcorn button. Geez, I really need to get with the program!
My hubby’s sister got us a popcorn maker (we’ve used it twice in several years) so we don’t have to worry about the microwave side of things, thankfully!
November 12, 2009 at 9:30 pm
amanda
Oh wow, I love this. I’ve been struggling with things to blog about lately; I love reading about little details of people’s lives like this. 🙂
November 12, 2009 at 11:57 pm
eemusings
I would have cooked it exactly the same way. Smart choice! 😛
November 13, 2009 at 1:27 am
single four poster bed
Take it out of the microwave and immediately shake the bag before opening. It always works for me, provided I don’t get distracted. Which I frequently do.Once there are only pops every few seconds take it out.
November 13, 2009 at 2:25 am
Elizabeth
That’s pretty much what I would have done! I’m terrible about charring popcorn, so I really don’t make it anymore.
November 13, 2009 at 7:17 pm
Mrs. D
You have hit on one of the Great Mysteries of the Universe. Seriously – why is it so hard to pop popcorn? No wonder my parents always preferred their ancient air popper.
Also – popcorn o’clock is my favorite time of day. Well, next to bacon o’clock, that is.
November 15, 2009 at 2:57 am
Melanie
I just always pop it until the pops have a few seconds in between… it’s usually just about perfect. 🙂
November 15, 2009 at 7:23 am
qu33nbee
Hehe! You get 21 comments for writing about popping popcorn. This cracks me up. I guess the Seinfeld approach really does work! At least for you. 😉
November 16, 2009 at 10:38 am
your mom
mine does 2.5- 3.5 minutes for regular size bags and 1 min 20 secs for the mini bags. and you have to listen for the popping to slow down. and don’t stand in front of the microwave, i still think those things are voodoo and send rays out.
November 17, 2009 at 12:33 pm
sarah
you were much more interesting when you were employed……. how’s the job search coming along?
November 18, 2009 at 12:30 am
schmei
I’m late to this (and, oh my gawd, I hope sarah the snark isn’t why you’re taking a hiatus), but it reminded me of a funny family memory.
When I was in high school, my parents’ microwave died. So my folks went out and found a replacement. I distinctly remember standing in a shoulder-to-shoulder line, my mom, my dad, me, and my brother, in front of the brand-new microwave.
Brother: “what is… that?”
Dad: “It says… popcorn.”
Mom: “A POPCORN button?”
Me: (to self): I love the time I live in.
I still think they’re luxuries, but popcorn buttons are awesome. (This, from the woman who hasn’t owned a microwave for 5 years.)
November 20, 2009 at 4:23 pm
Jenna
I use Nikki’s system. Count 3 seconds between pops and it’s done.