What is it with families? Does anyone have a normal one? What is normal anyway?

This whole mother/grandmother debacle has me pretty stressed. Even though we had the conversation. Even though Michael told them to back off. Even though I shouldn’t care what they think. (But of course I do.)

Case in point, when I get anxious my stomach cramps up and is not a happy camper. As a result, I don’t eat as much. And as a result of that, my new pants that I bought just two weeks ago are too big. Now yes, I like to lose weight. But this isn’t the way I wanted to do it.

I brought one of my favorite things to eat today in hopes of breaking through the anxiety wall and reminding my stomach how much it loves food. (A lot. It loves food a lot.) I’m crossing my fingers it works.

What? You want to hear more of this ridiculous woe is me I’m losing weight without trying story? OK then.

Another thing that’s been bothering me is the whole engagement thing. Or lack there of, actually. Before the ambush Michael had told me that sometime in the next six months it was definitely going to happen. There was joyful leaping and wide-armed spinning a la The Sound of Music. OK, there wasn’t. But I was extremely happy.

But now I can’t help but think that all this stress, all this pushing…is going to push Michael in the complete opposite direction. I asked him if was affecting is decision. He said no. But who knows.

I promise I’ll move on to a much more stimulating topic tomorrow. Cross my heart. Stick a needle in my eye.

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