I read an article recently where the writer basically tore anyone who had been unemployed for a year a new one. Like, really ripped into them. There was accusations about not trying hard enough to find a job, using the “time off” as an opportunity to travel, shop and all around slack off while people who really needed the unemployment insurance weren’t able to receive it.
This writer was not unemployed.
The article made me angry. I mean, here I am, almost 11 months unemployed. Eleven months of job searching, sending out resumes, reaching out to people and all I have to show for it is two interviews and a pile of rejection letters saying thanks, but no thanks, and countless job inquiries left unanswered by HR teams that are buried in resumes from people just like me.
I have a degree, work experience, people skills. I am marketable.
But I am unemployed.
Let me be clear; in the year I have been without a job I have traveled home to visit my family. I have shopped. I have even laid on my couch for hours at a time watching Gilmore Girls marathons.
But I’ve also worked my tail off trying to find a job.
I am lucky, my husband has a job that basically supports our lifestyle. And an extravagant lifestyle it is not. But we’re comfortable and fortunate to own a home and be able to afford our necessities while also being able to have a little fun once in a while.
The small (very small) amount of money I receive each weeks goes directly towards bills, or groceries, or if we’re lucky that week, savings. It’s not going to the mall.
Why haven’t I “sucked it up” and gotten a part-time retail job? Why aren’t I waiting tables or folding sweaters?
Because I didn’t have to. Not yet. Because the whole point of unemployment benefits is to sustain you while you try and find a job that will support you. And taking a part-time job that pays less per week than I’m receiving on unemployment makes no sense whatsoever.
Unless a new proposed bill passes in the next few weeks, come mid-November my “income” stops. And when that happens, I will do what I need to do to contribute to our family. My nose isn’t in the air. I don’t think I’m better than anyone else. And if the bill passes, allowing the unemployed of Rhode Island — the state with the third highest unemployment rate in the country — 13 additional weeks of unemployment benefits, you bet I’ll be taking it.
Because that’s 13 more weeks to find a full-time job.
A year ago, I might have felt the same way as that writer, because unless you’re in these (old, because you really shouldn’t be buying new ones) shoes, you really don’t know the pain, frustration and self-doubt that surrounds you each time you have to answer “no” when the automated unemployment system asks you if you have returned to full-time work this week.
You just don’t know.
51 comments
Comments feed for this article
October 8, 2009 at 4:17 pm
Jen
I’m sorry, Molly. I really hope you find a fulfilling position soon.
October 8, 2009 at 4:34 pm
Caitlin
I hope your hardwork pays off soon. And I hope it improves for everyone.
What that writer also fails to understand is that the unemployment money is feeding our economy. If people didn’t spend it while they looked for work, it would contract even more.
What the writer doesn’t consider is those that are unemployed but without prior employment don’t even qualify. My husband just graduated from law school and therefore doesn’t qualify for unemployment. He’s been without work for six months, and I would in no way call him a slacker. Its impossible in many markets (including ours) to find even minimum wage employment, so he’s at a loss. I hope those that have a job will treasure what they have – even if it sucks. I know I do – cause I can see how hard it is for my husband.
October 8, 2009 at 4:35 pm
Nicki
I’m sorry you’re still unemployed Molly! I can’t even imagine how frustrating that must be. I’m sure you’ve heard every piece of advice in the box, but one major thing that helped me land my job was the volunteer work I’ve done. I know it doesn’t pay obviously, but it’s great for contacts and obviously for fulfillment! I bet there are lots of non- profits in Rhode Island who could use your skills!
October 8, 2009 at 4:38 pm
jen
I second Nicki’s comments, volunteering is great for networking, and resume “filler” for the unemployed downtime.
Have you considered allowing adds on your blog? I have no idea what your stats are, or even how to do this, but you put time into writing this, why not put it to work for you?
October 8, 2009 at 4:43 pm
Molly
I have considered it, but haven’t moved forward on it because I’m not sure how my readers would feel. I don’t want to see out, but at the same time it does make a little sense. Who knows?
October 8, 2009 at 4:40 pm
Kim
Seriously. I used to read the unemployment form aloud to myself each week…at first because I didn’t want to mess up (I messed up once, filling it out too quickly, and had to wait an extra week to get my check), but then because of the self-satisfying oomph I felt voicing my annoyance out loud. Even if only Lorelai and Rory were there to listen.
“YES I have looked for work this week. NO I have not been offered employment this week. NO I have not worked for any type of income at all whatsoever I still have no money this week.”
It felt good to sigh it out loud.
Like you, I was lucky enough to sustain my lifestyle (albeit I stopped contributing to my savings account) on unemployment. And like you, I saw no point in taking a part-time job that would earn me less than unemployment, because if I worked X amount per week, I wouldn’t qualify anyway! I did a little temp work; but the earnings got subtracted from my unemployment check (except about $20 a week), so I began to resent the work anyway.
I am 12402394813059853958% on your side on this one, and I encourage you to enjoy it while you can, because it doesn’t last forever. I’m still not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing 😉 Just kidding, just kidding…
Best of luck to you!
October 8, 2009 at 4:43 pm
KatieB.
I just came across your blog and love it. Though, I’m terribly sorry that you’re unemployed. I can’t imagine the frustrations, and then to have people say you use it for shopping. Yeah, with what money? Haha.
Anyway, have you read “Bitter is the new Black” by Jen Lancaster? It’s hilarious and a loose memoir about her experience being unemployed for two years. If you haven’t read it and like to read, I highly reccommend it. I just re-read it because my husband is in real estate and well that market sucks right now. Haha! Pour yourself a drink, put on your comfy sweats and enjoy the dark humor!
KB
October 8, 2009 at 4:43 pm
Paula
Not long after I left university in 2001 I was unemployed for four months. Then, a few months later, I was unemployed for another six months. This was not for want of me trying, and this was long before the worldwide credit crunch hit.
That writer needs a smack.
I hope you find something awesome soon though!
October 8, 2009 at 4:44 pm
Linwood's Girl
Often people who write about things they have not experienced, lack perspective. I would second the truth behind the statement “looking for a job is a full-time job”. Furthermore, the market is SO flooded that even really experienced people don’t make the interview cut. Keep your chin-up girly, your hard work IS going to pay off!
October 8, 2009 at 4:47 pm
Mel
A while back ago you wrote about finding new friends and one of the comments suggested Junior League. I actually took that comment and ran with it and joined this year.
What I learned about the women in the group is that there are a lot of pretty well rounded successful women that are willing to help anyone they can. I found out one of our fellow JL’ers is seeking employment in Legal and I am trying to help her find a job through my contacts.
A little volunteer a little networking. 🙂
P.S. My dad was laid off in January 2008. I’ve been through 3 mergers and 2 lay-off attempts. It’s a scary world out there. Good luck.
October 8, 2009 at 4:47 pm
Kim
I forgot to check the “notify me of follow-up comments” button, and I want to follow the comments, so please forgive this comment-with-no-commentary.
🙂
October 8, 2009 at 4:49 pm
Kelly
Hey Molly
I am a longtime reader and also unemployed. (I have a JD and a MA and no damn job – believe me, it is frustrating so I totally understand the comment from Caitlin above!!) I have been working from home to supplement my income a bit since graduation, but overall, I’ve had to rely on my partner for support.
I totally agree with you about how sad and frustrating it is. I think it is easy to criticize when you haven’t felt that terrible rejection that comes from not even HEARING from jobs you applied to.
Anyhow, best of luck. And from one down and out unemployed person to another – don’t let it get you down! 🙂
October 8, 2009 at 5:22 pm
pickles & dimes
My husband has been unemployed for almost 8 months now. It’s frustrating – there is NOTHING out there for jobs. Nothing. He’s had a few phone interviews where they wanted to pay him less than what he would get for unemployment. It’s almost like some employers are taking advantage of the glut of job seekers and offering less than the industry standard.
I hope things turn around for you soon. All it takes is one phone call/sent resume/interview/networking contact, etc. Good luck!
October 8, 2009 at 5:24 pm
Becky (rksquared)
Oh Lord, am I glad I didn’t read that article–I’m worked up enough after hearing you talk about it! I’ve been unemployed for 18 months, and hubs for about 6…after many resumes sent, and a small handful of interviews, there are still no full-time jobs for either of us in sight. I’ve completely stopped telling people when I have an interview, because I know there is no reason to get excited unless an offer is made (btw apparently it’s now proper etiquette to interview someone and never contact them again). To top it off, we have multiple friends and family members who are unsure if they will be keeping their jobs much longer.
I’m in the process of starting a photography business, but it will be a LONG time before I can give myself even a smidgen of the income I take in from sessions and product orders. In addition, I haven’t been able to register with the state because it would affect my unemployment insurance (UI), and I would no longer have those checks to help pay our bills. The fact that my “business” is not legit at this point dramatically affects the way I can market myself to both clients and other businesses I may want to partner with.
I am so thankful that my husband and I both had decent paying jobs before this hit because that it the only way we have been able to live off of two unemployment checks for the last six months. Now that we’re down to one, I will be searching high and low for a PT job which will hopefully cover most of my phone/car/school/health insurance bills so that we won’t have to tap into our savings as much each month.
Anyone who thinks unemployment can be treated as a fun vacation is a moron.
October 8, 2009 at 5:32 pm
LN
(De-lurking here) I feel ya! I was laid off just before you and was unemployed for almost 7 months until a close friend alerted me to an open position in her growing company. Unemployment checks allowed me enough to pay the bills with just a bit left over. I was also lucky enough to babysit my nephews a couple of times a week – and get paid for it. So for me, it was almost kinda nice to have a “sabbatical”, considering I still felt very stable financially, like you. But if that weekly check was taken away…that’s when things get scary.
I wish you the best of luck and hope that soon you’ll find a new job, or at least have your benefits extended!
October 8, 2009 at 5:41 pm
Stacey
I have to agree with pickles and dimes, I do think that some employers are taking advantage of people who are unemployed when it comes to pay. Unemployment is hard. It’s a little demeaning. I’m so so grateful for this time with my son and that I could return to school. But I continue to look for work consistently because I know once the UI runs out I need to make something. It puts a knot in my stomach every time I apply for a job and I picture 300 people applying for it too. You never know how it is until you are in the situation, it would have been good for that writer to at least try to imagine her self there before writing that article.
October 8, 2009 at 6:13 pm
Kate
I agree with all of the above comments, and would definitely be interested in reading about your volunteer adventures if you decide to go that way!
I also thoroughly recommend Bitter is the New Black.. Incredibly uplifting 🙂
October 8, 2009 at 6:28 pm
a.
After 9/11 I was laid off with about 50% of my co-workers. I made the big mistake of taking a job immediately because I was scared not to have one. In retrospect, I should have taken the time to find the right job instead of just any job. I sometimes regret that decision because it chased me right out of the city and back to the burbs after I had to quit the job I took because I couldn’t stand it anymore. Then I couldn’t collect unemployment and had to go back to school in order to find another job outside of the city. Basically I had to start over and it’s been very tough. I really am thankful at this point that I even have a job. Best of luck to you.
October 8, 2009 at 6:56 pm
Kate
Over 200 applications. 6 interviews. One UNPAID internship opportunity offer. that’s it. I feel ya.
October 8, 2009 at 7:40 pm
Lynn @ human, being
Here’s to a change of fortune, and finding that great job that’s supposed to be yours!
October 9, 2009 at 12:35 am
shelikestotravel
I hear you.
I was unemployed earlier this year for a number of months… and people don’t know what it’s like. In my case there was nothing I could do but work hard toward finding a new job and be confident that this was a path I was supposed to walk. I tried to understand what I was supposed to learn out of my unemployment experience.
It was work to keep that self doubt out of my mind. It was work to keep moving forward in my search. It was work to keep my mind active in a way that kept me relevant in my industry. Unemployment is no vacation.
I remember clearly that post where you mentioned that your job had been affected by this economy. I’ve been sending positive thoughts your way ever since. One day those positive thoughts are going to stick. I hope it’s soon.
October 9, 2009 at 5:47 am
Bluebelle
This is so encouraging to read. I’ve been unemployed a few months now but I’m not willing to just get a part time shop job. Luckily for us, my husband earns enough to support us comfortably but neither of us is willing to give up our time together in the evenings and weekends just so I have a job. The right one will come along for us both I’m sure!
October 9, 2009 at 10:27 am
Mrs. D
Finding a job is HARD. I hope you can put that writer’s ignorant comments out of your head.
You will find a job! Hang in there!
October 9, 2009 at 10:40 am
Megan
First of all, I LOVE your blog! I have been one of those secret readers who checks out your site daily but never comments. Until now.
I’m so sorry that you haven’t found employment because based on the writing of your site, you’re one talented woman. I am still finishing my degree but anticipate finding myself unemployed after graduation as the legal field isn’t quite booming right now either. Sigh. Everyone keeps saying the economy will pick up, and I hope they’re right. Once it does, I know you’ll find an amazing job that you deserve! Until then, you and I can surf monster.com in sweats while Gilmore Girls plays in the background. 🙂
October 9, 2009 at 10:44 am
Shannon
I’m in the same boat. Although I refused to take a retail job I did take a seasonal job that didn’t seem as bad and I know it is also quickly coming to an end. I spend hours a day it seems filling out those stupid apps online when in the end they just ask for my damn resume anyways. Within 3 minutes they shoot you and automated email and you hear nothing again. It is a frustrating blood bath out there. Some people just don’t understand. Keep pushing forward though and best of luck. PS Marathons are totally ok. They relieve stress:)
October 9, 2009 at 10:50 am
Rose
“The small (very small) amount of money I receive each weeks goes directly towards bills, or groceries, or if we’re lucky that week, savings. It’s not going to the mall.”
Sorry Molly, I know I’m judging but I do recall a purchase of a boat and a new couch during your unemployment. Are these things considered necessities now?
October 9, 2009 at 11:39 am
Molly
Yes, Rose. You recall correctly. And while it’s no one’s business how much we spent on either purchase, let me be clear about something.
Aside from our mortgage, we carry no debt. And that’s because we saved and saved and saved and pay everything off in full. Because of that, we were able to afford the boat (yay, Staycation!) as well as the chair (not couch) because we budgeted for them accordingly.
No where in my post did I say we couldn’t afford to live the way we live. My complaint was about a single person who accused people like me of not doing everything they can to find work again.
October 16, 2009 at 10:21 am
zoey
@ Rose – As I recall, aside from a weekend away, she ended up not going on a honeymoon due to her unexpected and somewhat devastating job loss.
I think that replacing a ratty couch, or saving for a small boat that had been a long-standing dream of her husbands (since they didn’t take a honeymoon or vacation) is not something that is overboard.
It also does not lessen the fact that there is no employment out there.
October 9, 2009 at 11:54 am
Wiz
Molly, I have been reading your blog for probably more than a year and I just wanted you to know that I wouldn’t care one bit if you put ads on here! I think you should go for!
October 9, 2009 at 12:20 pm
Jackie
I’m with you! My husband lost his job and searched for weeks with no avail. He finally took a job at a hotel that did not pay much more than unemployment checks. But he took it because we did need the couple extra dollars.
October 9, 2009 at 1:10 pm
Rose
Molly, I’m sure you are doing everything you can to find employment, I don’t doubt that. All I’m saying is, shouldn’t the money you spent on a boat and chair be better left in savings, especially since a baby is what you clearly want very soon?
October 9, 2009 at 1:21 pm
Molly
OK, point taken. But you can’t really judge unless you’re in our shoes, right? Like I said, my unemployment insurance goes to the essentials. I think that’s all that’s important.
October 9, 2009 at 1:39 pm
Rose
Absolutely. I’ve never been unemployed and can’t imagine how hard it must be. I’m no saint either, I should be more careful with my own money. I do wish you the best of luck in finding a job though. 🙂
October 9, 2009 at 1:55 pm
dailyeditor
I am right there with you. I do know, and it sucks. It’s really, really hard to keep getting those rejection letters. I feel helpless, but I’m still trying to find a job. That’s all I can do.
Hang in there.
October 9, 2009 at 3:14 pm
Jen
I feel you. I was laid off “due to economic reasons” on April Fool’s day….somehow April fool’s joke huh? I knew it was coming for several months beforehand so the hubby and I had put away a ton into savings and scrimped and saved while we still had two paychecks coming in. I was lucky enough to only be on unemployment for 1 1/2 months before starting a new job. I sent my resume to a recruiting firm and they did the work for me while I tried to get our crazy disorganized lives back in order from the lingering effects of the previous job. You’ve probably heard of it, but have you tried contacting a recruiting firm? I ended up having so much success with it that my husband used them to find a better new job too. We both ended up starting new jobs this spring/summer when the economy was still completely tanking. Our unemployment is pretty high and a few members of my immediate family have been laid off since last fall, so I feel your frustration. Doesn’t it feel good to not have any other debt hanging over your head other than the morgage? And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with buying a boat or a chair even with the loss of income. Part of the reason the economy crashed like it did was because people stopped spending, even the people that had money to spend.
October 9, 2009 at 3:54 pm
wflooter480
Molly,
I know you’re frustration. I’ve been unemployed. It sucks. Looking for work sucks even when you are getting interviews, let alone in this climate.
Here’s my thing with with the boat and stuff. You guys can afford it and that’s what you want, great! Cool! I’d love a boat and if I could, I’d buy one in a second. Hell, I’d probably buy two, a sail boat and a motor boat. But this:
“And an extravagant lifestyle it is not.”
Is a little funny to me. To me, a boat, even if it’s a little one, is kind of the epitome of extravagance. Not that there’s anything wrong with that!!! And honestly, I wasn’t even going to say anything, but you seemed to get a little defensive with Rose. I just wanted to kind of point out that, maybe living in America and having a certain lifetyle may seem normal or middle-class or whatever isn’t extravagant. But, it can kind of skew our notion of what is extravagant. You have a right to be angry and you can be angry with me, because who the hell am I to judge.
Again, I am NOT saying you should not have bought it. I’m not saying you should feel guilty. I’m not saying you need to justify. I honestly hope I don’t offend you, but felt it needed to be said.
October 9, 2009 at 5:19 pm
Molly
I’m not angry at anyone. I got defensive because I think it’s easy to point fingers, but without knowing all the facts, it’s a waste of time.
Yes, we own a boat — an extravagance, a luxury. But I don’t agree that makes our entire lifestyle extravagant.
We worked hard and saved hard for a specific purchase prior to me losing my job. The fact is that money was designated for that purchase, in addition to any additional savings.
I never said we were in financial ruin. I said that we put my UI towards necessities and actually lead a fairly financially conservative lifestyle, aside from owning a boat. And that financially conservative lifestyle is what made is possible for us to own a boat. (And come on, we didn’t buy a yaht!)
I guess extravagance is in the eye of the beholder.
And seriously, I’m not angry at anyone…I’m all about speaking your mind. And as long as it’s done in a professional manner, opinions are always welcome here.
October 9, 2009 at 5:21 pm
verybadcat
Oh, monkey Christ on a stick, people. Molly’s husband makes enough money to support their lifestyle. Period. No one gets enough unemployment insurance to afford a boat and a chair when they couldn’t afford those items before. Interesting too that Rose has never been unemployed, because if she ever had been, she would understand this:
Being unemployed when you’re searching for work like you should be (which Molly is) is hard enough without having to guilt yourself to death over naps and steaks and the occasional treat. You have to be good to yourself in this situation or the depression and self doubt will drive you to hang yourself from a ceiling fan. Period.
Molly, I was unemployed for nine months after 9/11, and I can remember the absolute desperation I felt waiting for the phone to ring on just one of the 4000 resumes I sent out every damn day. Hang in there, girl- those of us that have been there know who you are and what you’re about, and it’s not being a spoiled housewife.
Also, again to the haters- Molly paid in to UI for years and years while she was working full time. She probably won’t even get all the money she put in back out, even with the 13 week extension, if it’s passed, and btw, they don’t even vote on those extensions unless the local job market warrants it.
Another point- if she takes a menial or part time job, she hurts her chances of getting a position that befits her skills, education and experience. Ugly but true. My company pays more severance to higher level workers, because they recognize that it takes much longer for us to find comparable work, and that is what she needs- comparable work- and she shouldn’t settle for any less unless she absolutely has to, which she doesn’t.
How many of you haters are debt free? That’s a level of responsibility and discipline that most of America (including myself) can’t manage.
Just damn.
Hugs to you Molly. We’re rooting for you. I think you should put ads up. You’re not selling out. If your traffic warrants ads, you’re creating and publishing content that has value. Real, monetary value, and you shouldn’t be shy about being compensated for it.
October 9, 2009 at 7:04 pm
Rose
VBC – there is nothing wrong with saving up and buying a boat and having the kind of lifestyle that they do when the times are good. HOWEVER, my point was when your future becomes UNCERTAIN because one of you have lost your job, it probably is wiser to put the money you had originally planned for an extravagant purchase t toward something a little more practical, like a savings account.
Molly isn’t the only one who paid into UI, we ALL do. Those of us who has never been unemployed, we will never see a cent of it. What is your point here? I’m not against her being on UI, hell, I’d make the most of it if I can too.
I don’t agree with you on your point about settling for a mediocre job. It doesn’t look good when you have a huge gap in your employment history because you can’t find anything that is good enough for you. It makes you appear picky and snobbish. I’m not saying slumping it, but getting something middle of the road will probably boost up your morale and who knows, getting your foot in the door is probably better than nothing at all. There might be openings in other, more suitable departments for you.
I don’t hate Molly or her blog, I’ve been a loyal follower for years. I’m simply expressing my opinion on this topic. Don’t assume I am a hater just because I have an opinion that is outside of the norm.
I think ads on this site is a great idea.
October 9, 2009 at 8:10 pm
Kez
I think that people who still have that outdated view on unemployment need to get their heads checked.
Things are different these days. Get with the times!
This isn’t an individual’s fault/responsibility. Being unemployed is no longer a result of poor choices of the individual. It’s the result of a collective problem.
When my husband was out of work, that really changed the views on unemployment that had been drummed into us. I think that it is disgusting to comment so harshly on those who are having it less easy, when you have not been there yourself.
I actually think that those whose opinions haven’t moved with the times, are the fools.
You keep doing what is best for you!
October 9, 2009 at 9:48 pm
Cat
Unemployment is a benefit that you earn after having worked. I worked consistently for 12 years before being unemployed since this past May. I have earned that unemployment benefit b/c I paid into the system. For those who have a problem with paying into the system b/c they will never see any money from it….consider yourself lucky…it means you have a job!!! I would much prefer to have a job at the moment and pay a few dollars into the unemployment system then to be unemployed and collecting unemployment. Unless you have been looking for a job in the current economic climate, I don’t think you can understand how hard it is out there for people to find jobs. Good luck to everyone who is looking. 🙂
October 9, 2009 at 11:52 pm
Mel - Just Fine Just Dandy
Hope you find something soon… I understand how you feel. It’s hard to not take things like that personally when you feel as though you have been working super hard to find something…
October 10, 2009 at 10:12 am
wflooter480
Hey verybadcat, like I said, I have been on unemployment and that’s totally not my issue. Buying the boat isn’t my issue. It’s the thinking that having one isn’t a luxury. I guess you could say it’s in the eye of the beholder. It’s not an extravagance to Paris Hilton. I actually just wanted to maybe have a conversation about what constitutes as an extravagance.
I am in debt. I have an ass ton of school loans, a credit card balance and my husband had a very sizable credit balance when we met. We are actually currently living in my in-laws basement to pay off our debt and save so he can go back to school full-time and we can (eventually) buy a house. We just paid off his one bill just last month! WOOHOO! So, yes, having no debt is something I envy. I sure as heck wish I didn’t have to live here and scrimp and save and budget. I’d much rather buy shoes and get a facial whenever I’d like! So, of course I feel as though I am not living an extravagant lifestyle because I can’t do those things. But, when I look around at the things I do have, I see a whole heck of a lot of luxuries. Maybe it’s just me, but i think our consumer heavy economy, our materialistic society, our general American Dream (go to school, get married, buy a house, have kids) is so focused on spending money, I think our perspective is a bit skewed. That’s all I’m saying. I love TheseLittleMoments and some things that Molly writes gets me thinking about things I might not normally. So, you can say I’m a hater, but that’s just silly and false.
October 12, 2009 at 1:11 am
Michelle
I hear you loud & clear. You really do not know until you been there. I was laid off from my job in advertising this past summer. I was unemployed for two months. And while that’s a considerably short time for unemployment, it was the worse & darkest time of my life thus far.
I woke up everyday without a sense of purpose. The unemployment beneifts were delayed (it’s bad in CA too) and I had to ask my parents for help. Luckily, they were able to. But it didn’t make my sense of failure, loser, stupid, fat, ugly…I mean I was at the bottom of the self esteem barrel.
I found a job that was further from home & paid considerably less. But they say when it rains, it pours. I received a number of calls after accepting this current job. So I’m hopeful one of those will pan out. But if they don’t, it’s fine. I’m busy everyday & the work keeps coming. And right now, that’s all I can ask.
I’ll spare you all the cliched advice I was given (I know people meant well). You know you’re doing what you got to do.
Plus, you paid into unemployment for so long, you have a right to get paid from it!
October 12, 2009 at 1:55 am
Evie
I SO know what it means to be in your shoes — old or otherwise — out of work, trying hard at every opportunity, and fighting the backslide blues… and your writing about it is an inspiration. Helped me feel not quite so bummed about my own thing. Thanks Molly.
October 12, 2009 at 12:44 pm
Annie
I completely understand your frustration. I graduated law school in December of last year and I STILL don’t have a full time job. I’ve gone from a few contract gigs here and there to now being a volunteer attorney doing pro bono work. Don’t get me wrong, I love the work, but it would be nice if I didn’t have to worry so much about my student loans that I keep deferring because I can’t pay them.
It. just. sucks. It’s frustrating, it makes you question your abilities, your self worth, and shakes your faith.
I, like you, am fortunate enough to have a husband who can support our life and is more than happy to do so. But I can’t help be feel so inadequate not being able to be independent and do things for myself.
I love your blog, I love your spirit, and I love your honesty. Keep doing the only thing we can do – put on foot in front of the other and just keep going. I have a feeling we’re both going to be ok.
October 12, 2009 at 1:52 pm
Ris
Oh Molly that’s just awful. Unemployment is hard, and it certainly doesn’t need to be made harder by hateful articles and nasty people. Keep your chin up!
October 15, 2009 at 6:42 pm
Melanie
I’m with you on this. I’m going on 3 months of unemployment, and I refuse to feel bad that I haven’t been able to find a job. I was required to go to a little seminar at the career center here, and when I filled out my paperwork the woman there actually looked at it and told me that I probably wouldn’t find a job making what I was making before.. and let me tell you, it wasn’t a ridiculous number. She went on to encourage everyone to find part-time jobs. I’m sure I could find something at a grocery store or coffee shop, but it won’t pay my bills and then I won’t have as much time to keep looking for a job that will pay them. So I totally agree with you. We shouldn’t have to settle.
October 16, 2009 at 1:55 pm
zoey
Whoops, somehow this got posted out of synch – trying again and adding to it:
@ Rose, Flooter, and a few others – As I recall, aside from a weekend away after their wedding, didn’t they end up not going on a honeymoon due to her unexpected and upsetting loss of a job? Somehow I remember reading that.
I think that replacing a ratty old couch, or having saved for a long time for a small boat (a small one w/ motor, certainly no yacht!), that had been a long-standing dream of her husband’s (in lieu of them not taking a honeymoon or vacation), especially when they live so close to the water, is not something that is necessarily overboard. Actually, I consider having credit card debt an insidious luxury. Extending your credit when you don’t have the ability to pay it back is a lot more extravagant in thinking than responsibly saving up for something.
We all make our choices. They aren’t in debt. Sounds like she’s not going to a gym but exercising at home, mostly cooking at home, watching movies at home, enjoying friends and family. Sounds like she’s worked before and would love to have a decent job again. Think I read in here somewhere that her husband has been putting in a lot of overtime too.
It also does not lessen the fact that there is no employment out there, which really, I think, is the point of all this.
October 17, 2009 at 3:37 am
Where to? « Musings of an Aberrant Aucklander
[…] 17 10 2009 Those of us with partners who’ve been laid off – or have experienced it themselves – know just how disheartening, demoralising and downright depressing it is. It’s been a year […]
March 23, 2020 at 12:49 pm
Where to? – NZ Muse
[…] of us with partners who’ve been laid off – or have experienced it themselves – know just how disheartening, demoralising and downright depressing it is. It’s been a […]