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There’s so many things that can define a generation. World events, music, clothing…and TV. What person born in the early 1980s can’t sing (or at least hum) the theme song to Fraggle Rock? There’s lots of TV moments that I think define my age bracket. I mean, I remember…

- Punky Brewster calling 911 when the child she was babysitting drank something under the sink.

- Buddy Bands, Friends Forever and Jessie Spano getting hooked on caffeine pills. (I’m so excited! I’m so…scared!)

- Donna posing awkwardly in a while lacy getup, ready to lose her virginity to David.

- how much I wanted to freeze time just by putting my fingers together like Evie on Out of This World.

- Are You Afraid of the Dark? I didn’t want to admit it but sometimes, yeah!

- wishing I could go down the Pie Slide. Mark Summers made it seem so cool.

- DJ showing up for her first day of school dressed in the same outfit as her teacher. Also, when she stopped eating and fell to her knees after working out on the bike. Stephanie tattled.

- Corey and Topanga’s torrid love affair.

- How freaky looking the Temple Guards were.

- Wanting to be Tiffani Smith and play the bass guitar. (Kinda groovy!)

 - thinking how cool it would be to have Charles as a babysitter.

- pretending I was Claudia Kishi while my friend Dani was Stacey McGill (minus the diabetes.)

What do you remember?

Happy weekend!

When I was a child I used to have the same reoccurring dream. I dreamt I was in the car with a parent (it alternated between them) and we stopped at a gas station to fill up. The parent would get out of the car, but forget to pull the emergency break and I would start to roll backwards into traffic. The dream never went any further than that, but would always freak me out.

Eventually I stopped having that dream. I never took the time to figure out what it meant or if it symbolized something. For all I know, I was just afraid of the literal — rolling into traffic.

I browsed “Dream Dictionaries” before and always thought they were pretty hooey. I don’t buy most of the symbolism that’s supposed to go along with it. If there’s deodorant in my dream, I’m pretty sure it doesn’t “represent your inner strength and your ability to rid yourself of harmful and destructive behaviors.” (Yeah, I looked that up.) I’m pretty sure it means I recently needed new deodorant and the process bugged me. (Side note: the new stuff is working out great. Thanks for asking.)

However, over the last few years I’ve had a new reoccurring dream and truth be told, I’m getting tired of it. I had it again last night and if it does symbolize something, I’d like to figure it out so I can deal with it and banish the dream forever.

I’m back in college. It’s the very end of my senior year and we’re all getting ready to graduate. Suddenly I realize that I either failed a class or forgot to take one (it alternates) and I’m not going to be able to graduate. The class is always either French or Math. In my waking life, both are subjects I did well in. In the dream, I panic. I’m not graduating. I have to tell my family. I’m not going to be able to get a job. All my friends are going and I will be stuck.

Then I wake up. Every time.

What does it mean??

Our tasting is scheduled in three weeks and my stomach rumbles every time I think about it. I cannot wait. The main point of the tasting will be to decide on our entree. But here’s the problem. We only get to taste two: one chicken, one beef. The beef is taken care of. The one they put on our proposal sounds good enough to me.

But the chicken? I seriously cannot decide. Every one sounds amazing. Every! One! There’s six choices, but I’ve narrowed it down to three. The Chicken with Leek and Wild Mushroom? Out. Neither one of us like mushrooms. The Grilled Herbed Chicken? Out. Joe Shmo can make that at home. Ginger and Soy Marinated Chicken? Pass. You either love Asian flavors or you don’t. Too risky.

So we’re left with these:

#1 Chicken Franchaise with Puff Pastry Hearts

#2 Chicken Roulade Filled with Proscuitto and Mozzarella

#3 Tender Chicken Breast Filled with Artichoke, Red Pepper and Parmesan Cheese

I’m leaning towards #3 but to be honest, they all sound good. HELP!

We’ll be starting with this salad (if that helps influence your decision at all!):

Poached Pear with Candied Violets, Spiced Pecans and Gorgonzola Cheese finished with California Spring Mix and Champagne Vinaigrette.

(Don’t even get my started on the appetizers. You can see the list we have to pick from here if you want. Can’t I just have them all?)

And since I can never make up my mind — maybe we skip the whole dessert table and just give everyone their own little pie. So many choices!

I’m not an arguer. Not usually. Often when rude/racist/closed-minded/etc. comments are said around me I tend to ignore them. Not because I don’t care, but because if people really think those things, nothing I’m going to say is going to change them. I don’t agree with them and I certainly don’t condone their comments, but I don’t feel like having a debate that will just go in circles.

But sometimes I can’t keep my mouth shut. Sometimes a comment will get my heart racing and debate or no debate, I can’t stay quiet.

This happened recently, when someone made a comment about the new gay marriage law in California. I didn’t agree with what she was saying, as a matter of fact it was making my blood boil. She went on and on about the law and said, “I just don’t understand why “they” want to get married. Can’t they just stay how they are?”

I was about to say something, but thought better of it because I’ve been in circles with her before. I knew it wasn’t worth it.

But then she went ahead and opened the flood gates: “what do you think?”

What did I think?

“Why do they want to get married? Because they LOVE each other. They love each other and they want to express that in front of their family and friends.”

My heart was racing. You know me, I’m nothing if not passionate about love. I love love. I’d sing a song about it while twirling in a circle if I could.

“No, they want to get married to destroy the family unit.”

I think my head my have exploded. I took a deep breath and said I refuse to get into an argument with her, but let me just say that gay, straight, man, woman — whatever — people do not marry maliciously.

“Some do.”

What could I say? I was done. Luckily a distraction lead us away from the conversation, but I was irritated about it for hours after. Still am.

Here I am, on the verge of getting married to someone I love, entering into the institution of marriage because I can’t imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone else. Because I love him. Because I want to continue our lives together and build a family.

Just like any one else.

Out of love.

Not malice.

I started thinking about this conversation again because yesterday marked 150 days till my wedding day. 150 days until I stand in front of the people closest to me and declare my love forever to one man. Love. Marriage. Love. Marriage.

Seems simple enough to me.

I realize that not everyone reading will agree with me on this topic, and that’s OK. However, any malicious, mean-spirited or bigoted comments will be deleted immediately.

- to ask what’s in a drink before you drink three of them. Or four. Just because they taste like grapefruit juice, doesn’t mean there’s grapefruit juice in them.

- I’m a dork. When leaving the library on Saturday, the girl checking me out said, “these are due in three weeks…but I’ll see you next Saturday.” What can I say? I like to read.

- a perfect afternoon can be spent in your own backyard with the boy you love and a big black dog, reading your books and periodically relocating as the sun moves around.

- no matter how diligent I am with sunscreen, I will always end up with one weird burn. In this case, a small rectangle on my right ankle. Nowhere else.

- to always bring an extra sweatshirt. It doesn’t matter if it’s the end of May. When the sun goes down on a barbecue near the beach, it will get COLD.

- wear socks. They help with the cold too.

- sun makes you sleepy. Passing out on the couch till 2 a.m. after a day outside is almost guaranteed.

- tourist season as officially begun. Interesting people will now frequent your favorite breakfast spot — the one that has a BYOB policy — and drink beer out of coolers at 9:30 in the morning. They will also be loud.

- an afternoon sunning in the park with a good friend can be therapeutic in many ways.

- there’s nothing better than curly fries.

- it’s OK to have ice cream for dinner while walking the seawall.

- a local ice cream shop with amazing gelato offers their services at weddings. Forget cake and cookies — a gelato cart at my wedding? WANT.

- the weekend always goes too quickly. Even the long ones.

What did you learn this weekend?

Leaving work…

“Yay! Work is done. And it stopped raining. Man, I am so over this rain. I’m so excited the sun is out. Too bad the tennis courts are soaked or Jen and I could go play. Oh well, gym it is. I should text her. Gym? No response. She might have fallen asleep on the couch — she does work at the butt crack of dawn. Oh well, she’ll write back soon.”

At the house

“Ooooh what’s this? A package! I love packages. Let’s see…oh! It’s my rehearsal dinner dress. I can’t wait to try it on. Hi, Kodiak. Hi. Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi! Yes, I missed you too. Oh, I know. You’re so cute. OK, hold on, mom has to pee. OK fine, you can come in the bathroom. Must you lie on my feet? Alright, I’m done, let’s go. Stop whining, I need to wash my hands. OK! Outside!”

Outside…

“Ewww wet feet. Hurry, will you? The sun has not dried the lawn yet. La, la, la. Doing your business. OK, let’s walk over here. Wait- wha? Get off of the fence. The neighbor’s dog has no interest in you today. Do you have to poop? Let’s walk over here. La, la, la, do, do,do…good boy! Let’s go inside.”

Back in the house…

“Wait, how does this wrap dress work? Oooh it’s kind of backwards! Arms through the front, wraps in the back? Interesting. But hey, what do you know? It works! No worries about it flapping opening and exposing something. Me likey. But how does it look? Ooooh I love it. Perfect! But wait, the back is a deep V. My bra shows. Mental note: must find different bra. I really like this dress and…UGH. My legs are the color of the dress. Seriously, woman. Break out the self-tanner. ASAP.

No word from Jen yet. She must be asleep. I don’t really feel like leaving the house. I’ll do my video! But wait, the rug is hairy. Thanks, Kodiak. OK, I’ll vacuum the house first. No, stop it. Kodiak! Leave the vacuum alone. I mean it. Go lie down. No, not ON the vacuum. Over there. Go on. Good boy.

Ah, clean house. Time to exercise. Oooh arms are shaking. Love this DVD. Time for push ups. Doesn’t that feel good?  No, you crazy exercise DVD bitch with your perfect arms and flat abs. It does NOT feel good. I can do the first set no problem. The second set, sure. But the third? The crazy third set where you change the counts and make us hold at the top and bottom? HATE. And Kodiak, really.  I am fine. You do not need to lift me up when I’m doing them. Look! Dad is home! Go see your dad.

Hi, I missed you too. How was your day? Dinner? Um…can you order a pizza? Yes, I know I’m exercising as I’m asking you this but hey, the hormones want what the hormones want. Be happy I didn’t ask you to pick up a box of donuts and a bag of crunchy Cheese Doodles.

OK – up into the plank position. Yeah, yeah,  yeah one of the best ab exercises you bitch! 5,4,3,2,1….whew. Time for cool down. Breath in, and ouuuut. And in! And ouuuut.

Huh, I feel pretty good. Guess I’ve got me a date with the bitch tomorrow.

Time to get the pizza? Oh yeeeeah.”

I have never spent so long in the deodorant aisle as I did today. I went into CVS with a clear mission: must buy deodorant. Mine was running just low enough that I could see through the white onto the blue plastic and I knew it was just a matter of time before the last usable piece crumbled mid-swipe and fell to the floor.

I thought I’d avoid that scenario all together and buy a new one.

As if it wasn’t bad enough that our local CVS has recently moved things around and I can’t find anything, when I approached the deodorants I was met with an unpleasant surprise. CVS no longer carried my deodorant.

For years I’ve been using Secret Platinum with Olay Invisible Solid. I love it because it’s strong, but doesn’t dry out my skin the way Secret without Olay does. It’s perfect. And smells slightly like strawberries.

But today, it wasn’t there. How long does it take to go through a stick of deodorant? A few months? Well in that time my deodorant just up and left without a warning. No note. No goodbye. No last rendez-vous. Choosing a deodorant is like a science. You can’t pick any old one. There’s one that’s right for you and once you find it, you never let it go.

At least that’s how I am.

So there I was, alone in the aisle, picking up multiple brands and wondering what to do. There wasn’t even another woman around that I could casually ask about her wetness and odor deterrent preference. So I stood there. And pondered. And decided on a new brand. I got halfway out of the aisle before turning around and putting it back on the shelf.

Back to the Secret. Maybe I’m missing it? No. There was Secret with Olay, but it was different now. It was that clicky kind where the wet-ish deodorant comes through the slots. Hate those. Then there was regular Secret, but I know how that reacts to my skin.

Feeling defeated, I picked up the last option, a new Secret called Secret Flawless. I read the back. It seemed promising:

“If you secretly crave strong wetness protection that smells fresh and has skin conditioners, your search is over. New Secret® Flawless gives you everything you long for – all in one cutting-edge antiperspirant.

This versatile deodorant has five facets that give you a flawless performance:   

1. Strong odor & wetness protection
   2. Goes on clear
   3. Smooth, lightweight formula
   4. Self-renewing fragrances
   5. Skin-nurturing conditioners

If you are a passionate Platinum user, you will love the switch to Secret Flawless. It has your Platinum strength plus so much more.”

Well I’m not secretly craving anything –  I’m making a big ol’ stink about it. But it has the conditioners and I do like self-renewing fragrances. (But will it smell like strawberries?)

So I bought it. And then I came back to work and went onto the Secret website, only to find that my old kind is still on there. Bastards.

I’m going to the gym tonight and that will be the first test of the new deodorant. I am skeptical but an hoping to be pleasantly surprised.

Jennie says:

I hope one day you will address the plight of the taller woman.  I’m 5’10”, and I read your site a lot, and and I am mostly just plagued with jealousy about all the fabulous shoes you wear!  I really love the look of high heels and of course they do wonders for your legs and all that.  I have spent most of my years between sophomore year of high school and now wishing I were four inches shorter so I could wear high heels every day.

I know it’s easy to say I should just suck it up and wear’em, but when I do I usually spend the night (or day) feeling self-conscious and huge, towering over my more petite friends, and fending off comments from well-meaning people who say “Oh my God, you’re so TALL!”  It’s hard to feel attractive when you simultaneously feel decidedly un-dainty and rather giant-esque.  It’s just easier to wear flats.

That said, my boyfriend and I are going to a wedding in about a month and I’m going to wear a pretty form-fitting black dress–think pencil skirt with a built-in tank top.  I love the dress, but it just looks weird to wear it without heels.  Any suggestions for flat shoes that wouldn’t look totally bizarre with a dress like this one:

I’m of average height so I dont’ fully understand the plight of the tall woman, however I do know that when I see a statuesque lady in high heels I think she rocks. Just saying.

That being said, the last thing I want shoes to do is make you feel uncomfortable, so I’ll try and tackle your question the best I can.

To be completely honest, I don’t think you should wear flat shoes with the dress. A form-fitting pencil skirt is meant to me worn with a little lift, otherwise your legs — yes, even long ones — can look squat. And that’s the last thing you want!

My suggestion would be a kitten heel. While still a “heel”, it tricks the eye into a seeing a longer leg-line, all while keeping you pretty close to the ground.

These great red ones are only two inches and would give your little black dress great character. Plus, you can always pair them with dress pants or jeans later at the office. They also come in black if you’re going more traditional.

Jaeger by Chinese Laundry, $88.

Or if you’re looking for a strappy look, these would do the trick.

Prissy by Naturalizer, $64.

And who doesn’t love a little gold?

Akin by Naturalizer, $75.

I think it would be a good idea to check out the dress shoes selection from comfort lines like Naturalizer, Sofft and Aerosoles. These brands have really upped their style factor in recent years and are catering towards a younger demographic, while still keeping their signature comfort. Their lower heels may be just what you’re looking for.

Here we go again…

A- Appetizers. We haven’t had our dinner tasting yet, but when we first met with the caterer they gave us a big tray of hors d’oeuvres. The caramelized onion and fig puff pastry was so heavenly, I salivate at the thought of it.

B- Bouquet. I’m due for a second meeting with my florist, but in the end it’s going to be a mixture of reds and purples with maybe a tiny hint of gold.

C- Cake. I’m still pretty sure we’re not going to do a cake and instead do some sort of dessert bar — hopefully still with my favorite New York black and white cookies. We may also go the trendy route and do the cupcake tower. They’re just so tasty!

D- Dancing. We’ve had our first dance picked out forever. Forever, ever. It randomly came on my iPod yesterday (yup, it still works!) and made me smile like a fool. I’ve also been reading lots of reviews on my DJ and people rave about how he keeps people dancing all night. I can’t wait!

E- Entrance. Michael and I will do the traditional entrance into our reception, but just us. We have a really big wedding party, plus my mom hates being the center of attention and would die if I made her do that!

F- Father/daughter dance. We picked one! It’s completely non-traditional, but has a special meaning to me and my dad.

G- Guest count. Inviting: 187. Hoping will show: between 160 and 175.

H- Hair trial. It’s in August! I have boatloads of pictures saved, but none of them are exactly what I want. I have a vision in mind of soft, cascading curls (think the Molly Curl, just less big) and I’m hoping my stylist can create it.

I- Inspiration. It’s everywhere. I never thought I’d be looking at decor magazines and loving a color scheme or seeing a pictures and building a whole part of my wedding around it.

J- Journal. Or blog, really. I’m so glad I have this space to dish about planning, rant when things don’t go right and bounce things off you guys. It’s been a lifesaver.

K- Knotties. Waaaay before I got engaged I used to lurk on The Knot reading Rhode Island brides and taking notes of things that might be useful one day. Turns out I only used about four things off those pages because in the end I found my own style. But they were great for inspiration! (See letter I).

L- Limo. We’re just doing one for the girls. The church is literally walking distance from my house (where the guys will get ready) so they can walk to the church. Actually, that will probably make a cute picture — all the boys in their suits walking down the street to the church!

M- Music. I know what I’m walking down the aisle to, but I need an instrumental for the rest of my wedding party. Know any good ones?

N- Naive. To to think that maybe, just maybe, the whole thing can go off without a hitch?

O- Open bar. Oooh baby.

P- Programs. I haven’t given them much thought yet, but I plan on explaining the meaning behind things that will take place in the ceremony to make it a little more personal for our guests.

Q- Questions left to answer.  Where will we take pictures if it rains? What is the time frame for the day? Who will be in charge of paying/tipping the vendors?

R- Rehearsal dinner dress. Purchased! I’m waiting for it to come in and I hope it fits. Of course my boobs won’t be pushed up to my chin. I figure if it’s chilly I can thrown on a cute red or purple (my colors!) sweater.

S- Shower. It’s in three months and my mom and bridesmaids have been planning away. They’re so cute. I can’t wait!

T- Transportation afterwards. Michael and I have discussed getting a shuttle/bus for at least our wedding party after the reception. It would be an extra expense, but easier (and safer — see letter O) than having them figure out rides back to the hotel. Anyone ever do this?

U- Uniting. Two families. Should be interesting!

V- Video. I went back and forth with this — do we really need someone filming the wedding? Will we ever watch it? And then my friend Sara said yes, you will and yes, it’s worth it but no, you don’t have to spend a fortune. She pointed me towards the guy that did hers (SO affordable) and said I will never regret having my vows saved for eternity.

W- Wedding band. We’ve yet to look, but I want a simple pave setting similar to my engagement ring, sort of like this one:

X- eXercise- Guess what? The arm flub? It’s going away! On the recommendation of Dreamgrrl, I got a wedding workout video that specifically targets the upper body. (Women’s Health: The Wedding Workout.) I’m so sore after I do it (and Kodiak thinks I’ve fallen down when I do the push ups and sticks his head under me to lift me), but it’s totally working. Buff bride!

Y- You are the best. Thank you so much to Elizabeth Anne Designs and Weddingbee who named me as one of their favorite wedding blogs!

Z- Zoinks! It’s all going so quickly. I really hope it all comes together!

- My iPod is either so low on juice that it needs three hours charging to even turn on, or it’s officially kicked the bucket. I’ve yet to find out. I mean, it has had a long run. It’s an iPod Mini, after all. They don’t even make those anymore!

- Last night’s wedding nightmare was the worst so far. It all had to do with payments (not really that shocking since the majority of wedding stress thus far has been over how much everything costs) and realizing at the wedding that none of the vendors had been paid. The dream included and argument with my caterer as I tried to convince her to let me pay her by money order (??) the next week, followed by a discussion with my photographer who was sitting at a table and not taking any pictures. I also for the life of me could not remember our ceremony and he refused to show me pictures until I wrote him a check.

Sigh.

Some highlights included a dessert buffet that I don’t think I could recreate in real life if I tried. It was very Willy Wonka.

- I need to figure out where all the groomsmen can rent their suits — not tuxedos — suits. The problem is that out of the five of them, only two live in Rhode Island. The other is in New York and two are in the Midwest. Can you even rent suits? I have no idea. I looked at the Men’s Warehouse site and they have stores all over the country, but I thought they just rented tuxes. I suppose I should call. Anyone have any ideas?

- My shower and bachelorette party are in three months. Twelve weeks. Where is the time going?

- Yesterday we had dinner with friends of ours who have an adorable two-year-old. His parents call Michael by his last name (insert generic last name here — how about Jones — not really his last name) and when we walk in the door their son goes, “Ooooooh! Molly and JONES are here! Molly and JONES!” It’s quite possibly the cutest thing ever.

- Speaking of Michael, today is his birthday. I actually bought him his present a few months ago — tickets for two to a Dave Matthews concert in June. He better take me! He’s never been really into celebrating it, so I do it for him — making a big deal out the fact that he was born. Because that really worked out in my favor.

Happy birthday, babe. I love you!

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